Page 33 of Ky
He turned, his blue eyes shining bright tonight. I hesitated as I got lost in their almost icy translucency.
“Don’t worry,” he said when I hadn’t managed to say anything else. “I won’t bring him back here. I wouldn’t do that around Ingram.”
His words were like a punch to the gut. I wanted to bend over and throw up. I couldn’t stand the image of him and anyone else together. Yeah, that hurt and honestly, I probably deserved it.
My mouth snapped closed and for lack of knowing what to say or do, I gave him a firm nod.
Then he was gone.
And I really wanted to punch something.
“You look tense, big brother,” Ingram said as she waddled down the hall and into the kitchen.
I cut my eyes over to her but didn’t say anything. She only laughed at me, light and airy, and that was all it took for me to lose some of my steam. Somehow, Ingram had figured out how to handle life better than I had. I’d been out longer, but she had this ability to catch onto things at the blink of an eye. She was sly and didn’t miss much, which I’d recently come to figure out. She may have been sheltered but she was in no way dumb. Ingram’s quickness to read the environment around her and figure out the right way to approach a situation was not only amazing, but it was also refreshing. Maybe it was the way that she handled everything that I found beautiful. She didn’t judge people. She didn’t hate me for what I’d done. She didn’t let her situation stop her or dull her in any way.
What that situation was, well, I still didn’t know everything. But the time was coming. And yes, maybe I kept saying that, but as each day passed, it felt like it was harder and harder to ask her.
“Alright, you don’t have to talk about it. I just wanted to get some water. I’m going to go read in bed for a bit. Try not to let the world get you down,” she said as she held up a bottle of water and winked at me. Fucking winked at me. One that said that I wasn’t fooling anyone.
Then I paced, not even bothering to turn on any of the lights in the living room. And when I got irritated of pacing, I sat down and tried to watch TV. I even thought about taking a walk on the beach, but I didn’t want to miss Chris returning home.
Oh, fuck!
She was right, I wasn’t fooling anyone. Not that I was trying to anymore. I mean, I had come back here with all intentions of talking to him. Me? Talking? Yep. Funny how life could throw a damn wrench in your plans once you finally got the guts up to go for something.
I scratched at the back of my neck. Everything felt itchy and twitchy and I was way too uncomfortable in my own clothes. Chris had been fucking with my mind for a while now. Or rather, I’d let him. I was done fighting it and now I had no choice but to stand by and let him go out with some guy on a fucking date. I was the only one to blame here, I had waited too long. I wasn’t an idiot, I saw that. It didn’t mean that I was fucking happy about it.
The door opened and closed with a little more force than was necessary, but not enough to wake anyone that might have been asleep. Chris tossed his keys into the bowl and stood there for a long moment staring down at them. He seemed lost in thought and I had a good idea he wasn’t even aware that I was there watching like some creep. His hair was a mess like he’d been running his hands through it—or maybe it had been someone else, and my mind went crazy thinking that it was this guy he had been with.
There was something wrong. I could sense it. I mean, I guess it was pretty obvious considering he stood there for a good long minute. Then he was moving, his gaze down on the floor as he walked to the stairs then almost blindly climbed up them.
What the hell had happened?
Snapping myself out of my shocked and angry state, I forced my feet to move. Then I was really moving, long strides took me to the stairs, then up them, and I didn’t even bother to try and keep quiet.
It was probably the wrong thing to do. I should have calmed down, but the last few hours had me wrapped up in an emotional tornado and I couldn’t wait one second longer.
I was glad he didn’t have a door to his room. For once, the idea seemed perfect.
I hit the last few steps and his entire room came into view. It was immaculate. Everything neat and orderly but not in that fake-home sort of way. His bed was made and I cursed at myself for looking at that straight away. I didn’t need to be thinking about his bed. Or any bed. Or sex. Or the sex that he could have just had before returning home.
There was that damn word again.Home.
He was standing in the middle of the room, his back to me.
“You alright?” I asked. I hadn’t meant to scare him, but by the way he flinched and stiffened, I knew that I had. “Sorry. I just saw you come in and you looked a little off.”
Off? That was the best I could come up with right then?
“Yeah. I just…” His words trailed off as he turned to face me.
His shirt was unbuttoned and hanging loose on his frame. His pants unbuttoned and the zipper pushed halfway down, the flaps hanging open to reveal his sapphire blue underwear. The fact that they fit him like a glove wasn’t missed by me.
I swallowed hard and forced my eyes to lock onto his.
I’d seen him shirtless too many times to count. Practically every day since I’d moved in here. But there was something about this that seemed more intimate. Like I was invading his space and seeing him like this when he wasn’t expecting it. And I was the only one around to witness this, too. Something I was grateful for, but also having a hard time with.
“Did he—?” I couldn’t finish. I wanted to know if the guy he’d gone out with had hurt him but at the same time, I prayed it was something else.
