Page 23 of Ky
CHAPTER NINE
Ky
I felt like I was to blame for all of this. I’d left her behind. I didn’t stay and protect her. There were things she wasn’t telling me and I didn’t have the first clue how to get her to open up and talk.
Ten years was a long time. Ten years of me being out here, living a life that was the total opposite of what I’d grown up in. I knew all the things she had been put through, because I’d had to go through them too. I knew the shock of being away and I had a good idea of how it must have been for her right now.
Pregnancy aside, that was.
Because I didn’t have the first clue about that.
And if I was being honest, I didn’t have any sort of idea how to comfort and help her with that.
“Hey,” Chris said as he walked up behind me.
I tried my best not to jump. I’d been so lost in my head and my thoughts staring out at the crashing waves. I heard them more than saw them because the moon was only a sliver hanging high in the sky.
“Here,” he said as an opened beer appeared over my shoulder. “I got the feeling like you could use one.”
I couldn’t even open my mouth to tell him that he wasn’t wrong.
I hated that I felt uneasy around him. I hated the tension that hung in the air between us and I knew that it was all my fault. Everything in my head was still sorting itself out and I wasn’t sure if it ever would.
“Thanks,” I managed to choke out as he took a seat in the sand beside me. “You’re not very good at staying mad at people, huh?”
He huffed out a laugh and I couldn’t help but let the side of my lips tip up in a half smile.
When he stormed off from me last night I honestly didn’t know what to do. I wanted to reach out and explain things, say that I was sorry and all that, but I couldn’t get anything out. His words were like a slap to the face, but it was his tone that really made me wake the hell up. I’d never seen that side of him, never heard him talk like that. And I was just utterly in such shock that I didn’t know how to react.
But he was here, acting as if last night hadn’t even happened. I wasn’t about to take it for granted but at the same time, I wanted him to know that I hadn’t forgotten. Not in a negative way, though. I may not have said it, but his rant did get to me in more ways than one. I needed to open my eyes and maybe, my heart too.
“No,” he replied. “I’m actually really bad at it.”
I could see that. I couldn’t recall a time I’d ever heard him say a bad thing about anyone in a non-joking manner.
“How’s she doing?” Chris asked, the genuine concern shown through in his voice.
That was one thing I really liked about the guy. He cared about everyone and he was never fake. If he took you under his wing, he took you into his heart. He was easy to talk to and always the first to smile.
That fucking smile.
I had to hold back a groan just thinking about it.
There went my damn brain again. These were things I didn’t need to be thinking about. Imagining his smile only made me think about his lips. And thinking about his lips…
Nope. No. Nuh-uh. Not going there.
“You know better than I do,” I said and let out a short, harsh laugh. I wasn’t trying to be an ass and I hoped I hadn’t come off that way. “She won’t talk to me.”
I wanted to hate Chris and give into the stab of jealousy that hit every time I walked into a room and they were there laughing or talking together. And it had nothing to do with the confusion that clouded my head. Because it was clear that Chris saw Ingram like a little sister and I could tell that when she looked at him, there was no wide-eyed, starry shit going on there. It was simply because he had the relationship that I wished she had with me. I wanted to be the big brother protector that she could confide in. The one that she turned to for comfort and support. I understood that things were strained but I didn’t have the first clue on how to fix it.
“She’s scared,” he said and out of the side of my eye, I could tell he wasn’t looking at me as he spoke. That was good, I wasn’t sure I’d be alright with his eyes on me right then. “She came here looking for you, so that has to mean something, right?”
“Yeah, butwhatdoes it mean? Why? What the hell happened? I get that she’s scared and honestly, so am I. But what I can’t wrap my head around is how this happened. She’s hiding something and I hate that I can sense that but don’t have the first clue how to get her to talk to me.”
I knew Chris didn’t have the answers to anything, but I still felt the need to put them out there to the universe.
He’d just gotten off work, I didn’t need to bombard him with a bunch of heavy shit when he had come out here to unwind. I suddenly felt like I was intruding on his special time.
