Page 51 of Knight
Words.
I needed to say words.
But I struggled with everything I’d spent thinking about and wanted to get out in the open.
“Your dad,” I blurted out. And if there was ever a mood killer, that should have been it.
“Really, Knight?” Her face scrunched up with disgust. “You want to talk about my dad while I’m going down on you? Is there something seriously fucked up with you?”
Then a look crossed her face that made me feel bad. I knew what she was thinking in that moment and it couldn’t have been further from the truth.
“Gwen, eyes,” I demanded and when she lifted them back to look at me I could see uncertainty as well as some wetness clouding her eyes. “One, I need to do this thing right. I need to talk to your dad and tell him what is going on and how I feel before I, no,wecan move forward. I respect the man and I owe him that much. He may not like it, which I’m prepared for, but I won’t keep shit from him. Especially when it involves you.”
I paused taking in a deep breath. My damn cock was still hard even with the subject of her dad. It didn’t help that her lips were only inches away from it and every time she breathed I could feel her hot breath fanning over my crown.
“Two,” I made sure I had her eyes before I said this, “I need you to know that I want you. For fuck’s sake, we just talked about your dad and my dick is still hard for you. That is how much you fucking affect me.”
“We done talking?” she asked then did a slow, tortuous lick up my cock.
“No,” I panted as my eyes threatened to roll back into my head. “There is more.”
“About my dad?”
“Fuck no. That was my point. I made it.”
“Good,” she said with a smile that had a touch of the devil in it. “Go on, then. And if you stop, then I stop.”
As her mouth began to work me I was torn. So damn torn. With a deep breath in, I tried my best to focus.
“I’m not going to say I was wrong back then. But maybe I wasn’t completely right, either. I did what, at the time, I felt was the best and right thing for you. Maybe for both of us. Fuck, Gwen. I was just a kid. We both were. And things were changing and I had no idea what was going on.”
She moaned around me and I wasn’t sure if it was because she was enjoying it or letting me know she was listening. Either way, I didn’t care because it felt so fucking good.
“Everyday I hated myself. I missed you. I never forgot you. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about you or wanted to hear your voice. I thought that leaving would be the right thing and I’d be able to move on. I hoped it would work the same for you. But it didn’t. I only missed you more because I didn’t even have that chance, that hope, that I’d see you around the clubhouse.”
Her mouth slipped away from me but I knew she wasn’t going to leave.
“You hurt me, Knight.” Her whispered confession was heartbreaking. I knew I had, but to hear her say the words did me in. A second later, her warm mouth surrounded me again. Almost as if she hadn’t even stopped or paused to speak.
Then it was like a slap in the face. It hit me why she wanted it this way. She needed to have this conversation and have some sort of distraction. She needed that buffer between such a painful subject. Gwen faced things the way she felt the safest, with a little distance. I knew that and I should have seen it sooner. She had to be in control of how the situation was handled, and let me tell you, she was the one with all the control right then.
As fucked up as it might have seemed, I let it slide. I didn’t call her out or stop her. And I did realize that I benefited from that as well, but it didn’t make me feel good about it.
“I’m sorry,” I panted out feeling the tingling start at the base of my spine. “So fucking sorry.”
My hand tangled in her hair, the strands felt silky between my fingers. I didn’t push her down or try to fuck her mouth, though I desperately wanted to. I let her have the control but I had to touch her. I had to let her know that I was there withherright at this moment.
She sucked me in deeper, harder and I was seconds away.
“I’m gonna cum, baby,” I grunted looking into her eyes.
She shocked the shit out of me when she didn’t move away. Instead, she started massaging my balls with one hand while the other wrapped around the base of my cock. Her hand followed her mouth with just the right grip and seconds later, I was calling her name as I came inside her sweet mouth.
She sucked and swallowed and milked every last drop of me. My body fell limp against the mattress. With the last little bit of strength I had, I snagged her under the arms and pulled her on top of me. My hands pushed her hair away from her face as my face moved closer to hers.
“Wait,” she practically screeched as she covered her mouth with one hand. “I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.”
My head fell back against the pillow as I let out a loud laugh. Was she serious?
