Page 3 of Knight
“Two, I would probably kiss a girl if I liked her…and you know, she wanted me to.” He seemed to visibly cringe as he said those words and I wondered what was going through his mind.
“Have you kissed a girl yet?” I had to know. I wasn’t sure if it was because I wanted to know what it was like or if I needed to know that he no longer had that first.
“No,” he said, his tone was almost short and laced with frustration. “Shit, Gwen.”
“Have you thought about kissing anyone?”
“What’s with all the questions, Gwen?”
“I…” I bit my bottom lip wondering how I could even explain it to him. Did I want him to kiss me? Well, I didn’t think so. But I knew I didn’t want him kissing anyone else and that was super confusing to me. “I just wanted to know what it was like, you know, for when I might do it. What if I do it all wrong and whatnot?”
“I think you should go to bed, Gwen. We have school tomorrow.”
I wouldn’t lie, the brush off stung a bit. I looked up at him, the glow of the low moon cast a blue tint on his skin. His eyes locked with mine and I didn’t miss the look of confusion that was set deep in his features.
“Gwen?” I knew he was asking so many questions as he said my name. I took a deep breath and decided to let it all go, this was Knight after all.MyKnight.
“I thought I would get all of your firsts. I mean, I know I’ve had so many, but I thought that was just us, you know? The thought of you giving it to someone else, well, I don’t think I like it.” My lip quivered and I wasn’t sure if it was the nerves or the fact that I was about to cry.
“Gwen.” His voice a harsh whisper as his face softened.
His big hands cupped my jaw and though I wasn’t completely prepared for it, I welcomed it. His lips descended onto mine. A brief brush and a light press and then he was pulling away. My head spun and as I blinked open my eyes, which I hadn’t even realized I’d closed until then, I was met with his intense blue gaze boring into me.
“There, now you have my first kiss,” he said with a soft smile then slung his arm around my shoulder like it was just an everyday thing. “You and me…”
“Against the world,” I whispered into the night wind.
“Forever,” he finished as he tightened his arm around me and pulled me further into his side.
, too, Gwenie. You and me against the world, forever.”
Gwen age 12
Knight age 16
Knight
In some ways, Gwen was still a kid and in others, I could see that she was toeing the line of being more, of growing into her own. While she wasn’t quite there, I could almost see how she would be once she got there.
Gwen was smart and sassy. She didn’t let anyone hold her back from something she wanted, ever. She was compassionate and beautiful. I had no doubt that once her body started to really change that she would be the most popular girl in school. And add in that golden blonde hair and big, deep blue eyes, she was sure to knock every man dead with one look. She didn’t know it yet. Matter of fact, I was sure she hadn’t really thought about it. Then again maybe she had and it was one of those things she kept hidden from me.
It was hard to think about that, those things she didn’t tell me. For so long we had been each other’s gatekeeper to all things secret. We’d been each other’s rock and comfort. We had been best friends.
When I was younger I never imagined that it would have to come to an end. Things just didn’t seem right anymore and it killed me to do what I was about to do. The fact that she didn’t even know it was coming only added to the guilt that I had.
Some of my friends from school had made a few offhanded comments about the age gap between Gwen and me. They said it was weird that I would hang out with someone so young. One even called it creepy under his breath. I hadn’t really thought about it until that moment.
Being around Gwen was the most normal and natural thing in the world. Until my eyes became wide open. While I didn’t give a shit what anyone thought, it did make me stop and think. Nights I stayed awake in bed trying my best to push away the weird feeling I had in my gut.
The problem was that I needed advice but I couldn’t go to Brass because it was his daughter that I would be talking about. And that just seemed a bit uncomfortable. I couldn’t go to my friends, they had already made their opinions obvious. I knew I couldn’t go to my dad either. So far, I couldn’t tell you how many nights in a row now, I sat there with my thoughts and tried to work out the best thing to do.
I had a heavy feeling that what I was going to do would possibly break her. But I’d hoped in the end it would give her the freedom to fly.
“Gwen,” I said catching her attention.
She was sitting in the grassy field out behind the clubhouse. Even though her back was to me I knew she had a sketch pad resting in her lap and a pencil pinched in between her fingers. The wind blew as she whipped her head around to look at me causing the loose strands of her hair to fly around her face. A smile lit up her face, the smile that had always been just for me. A smile that I knew I’d never see again.
“You got a minute?” I asked as I walked up and stood beside her. I didn’t dare sit down. I knew it wouldn’t help.
