Page 27 of Knight
CHAPTER TWELVE
Gwen
I heard Knight up and moving about before I’d even rolled out of bed. As much as I wanted to go out there and see what was up, I held back. I had hoped that this wasn’t his way of avoiding me like he’d done so many times before. I felt like we had just finally found a little breaking point and we were getting somewhere with this new friendship.
I stuffed my insecurities down as I listened to him stomp around with heavy steps across the apartment. Then the front door opened and closed, letting me know he was gone. I chose not to dwell on it and threw myself into getting ready for the day.
After I got ready I had some time to kill. So, after I ate a bowl of cereal, I decided it was time to give myself a mani-pedi. Yes, I had that much time. I’d just gotten done applying the last layer of deep purple polish to my toes when my phone rang.
“Hey, Dad!” I said in a sing-song voice. No matter how often I did it, he always laughed.
Hearing it sent a twinge of sadness through my heart. I missed my dad like crazy. It didn’t matter that I talked to him several times a week, it just wasn’t the same as being around him. I knew at some point I’d have to grow up and that our lives might not always be as close as they once were, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t miss him.
“Hey, Princess. How are things going?” His deep, rough voice brought me the comfort of home and the love of family.
I thought about what it must be like for him without me there. We’d always taken care of each other after mom passed. He was my rock and I was his soft spot. He was the best dad anyone could ask for and I was lucky that he was mine.
In my younger years, I was fortunate enough to have two amazing, loving parents. I hoped that I never seemed like I took it for granted because I never did. Though, before mom left us, I didn’t realize just how wonderful I had it.
I always knew that the club life was a different sort of lifestyle. I was never fully aware of that fact until I hit middle school though. That was when kids started talking, spouting things that they had overheard their parents said. One day, Dad sat me down and told me the ways of the world and how people could be cruel against things they didn’t understand.
Then he asked me one important question and that had stuck with me all these years. He asked me if I was happy there, at the club. I didn’t even have to pause to think of my answer and that answer was yes. It was simply because I had more people than I could count around me that loved me and cared about me. Then Dad went on to tell me that it didn’t matter what others thought as long as I wasn’t hurting anyone. He told me to focus on the things that made me happy, the things that made me smile and filled my heart with warmth. That as long as my heart was warm it would shine. And a shining heart was like a beacon and it would radiate my happiness to others.
Okay, it was kind of cheesy, but to a little girl who was heartbroken at the cruelty around her, it was the perfect message. In a sense, he was telling me not to let the negative into my life and to only show the good that I had to offer.
I worried about him often. He was such a good man and I didn’t want him to be lonely. But I feared he’d never gotten over my mom’s death. He loved that woman like nothing else. It was written on his face every single time he looked at her. In his voice every time it softened as he spoke to her. That was one thing I admired about my old man, as hard as he was and had to be for his club, he never had a problem showing his emotions towards us. He was the perfect balance of strong and loving. I only wished he would let go a little and move on. That he’d find someone to take care of him and make him smile again. But I had a huge feeling that he wouldn’t ever get over her death and he would continue living with her ghost.
“Good,” I replied doing my best to pull myself out of my thoughts. “Can’t complain too much.” I tried to sound as chipper as possible.
“You sure?”
“Yes.” I nodded even though I knew he couldn’t see it. “Just a lot going on with classes and whatnot.”
“You keeping up with everything?”
“Yes, daddy. You know that school is the number one priority for me.” I chuckled like he was being ridiculous.
That was one thing he never had to worry about with me. I was a good student since the moment I started school. I not only loved it, but excelled at just about everything I put my mind to.
“I know, I know. Can’t blame your old man for lookin’ out. The boys treating you well?”
“Yes. They are awesome. I haven’t been to the compound yet. But the bar and car shop look good. From the way they talk, it sounds like Ky is bringing in some business with his work.” I smiled, pride for the brothers warming my heart.
“Knight has sent me some before and after pictures of some of the stuff Ky’s done,” he said and I could hear the happiness in his voice. “Kid does amazing work.”
We chatted a little longer. Mostly about nothing, like always. Time flew by too quickly and I realized I had to get moving or I was going to be late. I ushered him off the phone with promises that I’d call him later in the week.
I was glad that we had avoided the subject of my living situation and how Knight might have been treating me. Every time he tried to bring Knight up in our conversations, I’d done my best to skirt around it. I knew he wasn’t stupid and that one day he would flat out ask me. I prayed that day would come after Knight and I were on better ground.
Despite our rocky start and uneasy middle-ground that we were in right now, I had hope that Knight and I would eventually regain some sort of friendship. While I knew it would be nowhere near what we had as kids, I had no doubt that we could be a positive thing in each other’s lives.
If only I could bury my silly feelings for him.
I knew that was way easier said than done.
And to be honest, I didn’t even have the first clue where to begin with that.
Luckily, I had class and Tara to distract me for the rest of the afternoon. Otherwise, I might have gone crazy thinking about how Knight made me feel insane sometimes. And how he’d left this morning so early and in such a hurry.
