Page 24 of Knight
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Knight
The sound of my phone ringing only intensified the pounding in my head. I drank way too much the night before and I was paying for it now.
“Fuck,” I murmured as my hand blindly patted my nightstand in hopes of silencing the offending noise. The only thing I succeeded in was knocking my damn phone to the floor.
With a haggard grumble, I rolled over and searched for my phone with blurry eyes. The ringing stopped, only to start right back up again. I had a feeling that whoever was calling really needed to get a hold of me and I had an even bigger feeling that whatever it was, it wasn’t going to be good news.
“Yeah,” I croaked out once I located my phone. I didn’t even look to see who it was, I simply closed my eyes as I answered while putting the damn thing to my ear.
“You sound like shit,” Iron commented in my ear dryly.
“Rough night,” was all I supplied.
“Cable saw someone sniffing around the shipping containers on the far lot of the docks.”
That got my attention and despite my whole body’s protest against it, I shot up like an arrow.
“Identify them?”
“No, the cameras on that side are shit and the person was wearing all dark clothing. They had a hood pulled up over their head,” Iron said sounding irritated.
“But there’s really nothing out there to get into. What do you think they were looking for?” I asked as I willed my brain to wake up and process everything.
“Don’t know. But I want to add a guy there for the next few days at least. Who do you trust the most?”
Though he was the Prez, I really appreciated him letting me handle this. The docks were mine and it showed that he trusted and had enough confidence in me to handle it. That didn’t mean he wanted to be left out of the loop, which was fine by me.
“Mouse on day watch. Give the mid-afternoon to Tripp. And Lake can pull midnight to eight, for now,” I said knowing that Lake rarely slept and preferred the distractions come nighttime. I had no idea why, it was just something I’d picked up about the guy after spending a year around him.
“Yeah, sounds good. I’ll call them. You get yourself fixed up then get to the clubhouse.” I didn’t miss the amused humor in his tone. Thank fuck he wasn’t mad.
I was usually more responsible. I didn’t overindulge in alcohol. I took my club duties seriously and I always wanted to be prepared for anything. But last night had done me in. Spending so much time around Gwen, hearing her talk and laugh with such ease and not being able to touch her was like someone cutting me with a thousand knives all over.
To be a part of it but still feel like I was on the outside was like I was bobbing in the ocean with the life preserver just out of reach. It was intoxicating and maddening. Beautiful and painful. All of it at the same time. I knew I had no right to feel the way I did, but it didn’t stop the old memories from flowing in all night long.
Gwen.
The one I always wanted but couldn’t have.
The brightest star in the universe but not one that I could reach.
She had been my best friend at one point. The person that knew everything about me. And then she wasn’t. Then she slipped further and further away from me.
I knew it was my doing and I only had myself to blame. The truth was, I’d spent so many years running, being in denial, of how I felt about her. I had done my best to push her away and move on. But no matter what I did, that blonde hair, blue eyes, and gorgeous smile were always in the back of my mind.
Sometimes I would think that I was going crazy. I would be alone and I’d hear her whisper into my ear. Or I’d be watching something and I’d hear her laugh right beside me. But it was only her ghost in my mind.
Focus. I needed to shake off the shitty feeling I had about the whole situation and focus on club shit. Only, I couldn’t ever completely put her out of my mind. As I left my room, I realized that I couldn’t even put her out of my life now that she was living with me. Though I wanted to take my bad mood out on her, as I walked into the silent living room and realized that she wasn’t even up yet, my frustration deflated. Truth be told, I knew I would have never pushed my grumpy mood off onto her. I could never. I knew if I so much as got one look at her, I would do a one-eighty. There was no way I’d be able to turn my back on her and treat her like shit. Again.
Yeah, I knew what I’d done all those years ago, and every time I saw the sadness take over her eyes, it killed me inside. It was the worst thing I’d ever done. And the thing was, it was something I felt I had to do. Four years difference was a lot back then.
But not so much now.
Fuck! That wasn’t helping at all. Twenty-one and Twenty-five wasn’t that far of a stretch, and with her maturity level, there was hardly a difference. No one in the outside world would have blinked an eye at the tiny age gap now.
The more I thought about it, the more I hated the situation. It wasn’t just age that made me hesitant back then. Sure, that was a huge part, but the whole thing with her dad and the club was the other half of that. Now that was the last thread hanging on. It was a strong one too, I knew it would never break—I could never let it.
