Page 2 of Knight
Just no more Mindy.
“I’ll always be here for you, Gwen. You know that, right?” My voice sounded oddly strained as I tried to hold back my own tears.
“I know.” Her head turned to look at me, her big, blue eyes glassy as they stared deep into mine. “I love you, Knight. Please, don’t ever leave me.”
And right there, I knew this girl would forever hold my heart.
“I love you
Gwen age 9
Knight age 13
Gwen
The night air was cool on my skin. I sat on top of one of the picnic tables looking up at the star-filled sky. I had no idea what was what as far as constellations were concerned, but that didn’t stop me from trying to make stuff up in my mind, trying to connect strange dots that weren’t really there.
I pulled the blanket tighter around my body, thankful that I was smart enough to bring it out with me. It was soft and reminded me of my mom.
Sometimes I’d spend hours out here while my dad thought I was sleeping, just looking up at the sky hoping that my mom would send me some sign from the great beyond. I would ask her questions and received silence every time. I had to believe that she was there somehow, someway, still guiding me through life. Though, I never knew if she was or not.
This was the time I wished I’d had her around the most. When I needed answers to questions that I didn’t want to go to my dad about. I knew I could have asked him about anything and he would have done his best to answer, but there were just some things that I didn’t want to go to him with.
Most of those things right then had to do with stuff that my closest girl friend, Stacy, had told me. Her sister was older than us and had started to do things with boys. I knew about kissing because I’d seen it enough around the clubhouse. But I had no ideawhypeople did it.
I also knew all about sex because my dad didn’t want to wait on that conversation. That was so awkward and to be honest, I still wasn’t sure about half the things he talked about.
Stacy’s sister had already gotten her period and she told Stacy ‘that made her a woman.’ I didn’t see the logic in that, but then again, what did I know?
Stacy had told me that her sister was already kissing boys. Stacy said she was ready to do it too, but I wasn’t so sure. I’d asked her why she wanted to kiss a boy and she answered back with something about love and having a boyfriend.
There was only one boy that I could see as anything other than gross. Knight. But I’d known him since I was born and I couldn’t imagine kissing him.
Only, as I sat on that bench and thought about Knight kissing other girls, I got antsy and queasy. I didn’t know how I felt about it.
Wait.
Yes, I did.
I didn’t want him kissing other girls, but I had no idea why.
“Gwenie,” Knight whispered from behind me making me jump. “What are you doing out here? Your dad thinks you’re asleep.”
“I know,” I whispered back as he settled himself beside me on the top of the table.
His dad wasn’t as strict as mine and sometimes Knight and his dad, Cringer, would spend the night at the compound. Knight was pretty much free to do as he wanted. Like, go to bed when he felt like it. Or eat sweets late at night. Or hang out playing pool when he should have been doing his homework. Though his homework always got done and he was always up with enough time to catch the bus to school, so I guess Cringer didn’t really have anything to worry about.
“Do you like girls?” I blurted out, my mind clearly still on the subject of Knight kissing someone.
“Um, yeah, I guess.” He looked at me with a strange expression on his face. “Why?”
“It’s just that…” My mouth felt dry and my throat clogged, which was strange because it was Knight and I could talk to him about anything. Right? “Stacy’s sister says that if a guy kisses a girl that means he likes her. So, if you like girls—oragirl—then will you kiss her.”
He squirmed and I could tell that this was making him a bit uncomfortable. I hated that it did, but at the same time, I needed to know.
“One, stay away from Stacy’s sister,” he said then blew out a harsh breath. “And don’t fucking listen to anything she says.”
Knight didn’t usually cuss, but when he did, I always thought it was cute and funny.
