Page 13 of Knight
Halfway through my plate of food, Brass showed up and I knew that he was here to have a last goodbye with her before he headed back home. I also knew that he was here to remind me one more time that she was his baby girl and that I was to look out for her with my life. Which he did tell me, in those exact words, as we left the diner.
I followed her home, not because I was being a creepy stalker, but because we were both going to the same fucking place. Sure I could have passed her, done the dick thing and left her in the dust, but I couldn’t find it in me to do so. By the glances she kept throwing me in her rearview mirror, I had a good idea she noticed, too.
Once we were inside the apartment I opened my mouth to say something. But then nothing came out. Her blue eyes shined up at me as she waited to hear what I had to say. The seconds ticked on and I felt myself getting hot and not in a good way. More like, in that awkward and flustered way. The longer I stood there, the more I realized how fucking close she was to me, the more my head began to swim.
“I gotta shower and head out.” The words fell out of my mouth with a sharp bark to them. “You need anything, you can call Mouse,” I said his name with bitterness on my tongue. So much so, that I could taste it in my mouth the entire way to my room.
This was not part of my plan.Shewas not part of my plan. Too many years I’d spent trying to forget her only to have her come back into my life like a fucking hurricane.
The club, that was what I needed to focus on. This chapter was still too new and we had to go the extra mile to stand our ground. We were no joke and most people knew that but that didn’t mean we could slack off even for a second. I didn’t need or want for any distractions. So, I decided I was going to push her out of my mind as best as I could and really dig into the things I needed to take care of.
The docks were mine. We had guys on it around the clock, patrolling and making sure that nothing got by under our noses. Even with it handled, I made sure my ass was there more than not. I may have been hiding behind my work as an excuse, but no one needed to know that. I may not have even wanted to admit it to myself.
For the next week, Gwen and I danced around each other in awkward chaos. She was in and out, doing who knew the fuck what. And me, I did my best to avoid her at all costs. The biggest cost was my sleep followed closely by my sanity.
The only reason I went home at the end of the night instead of crashing in my room at the clubhouse was the fact that I told her pops that I would look out for her. While I might not have been there all day to keep watch on her, I made sure that I had someone on her at all times. Just because I felt like I couldn’t do it didn’t mean that I didn’t have prospects to do that shit. Did I trust them to do it as good as I could have? Well, truly, no. But I didn’t have any other choice and if I really thought about it, they were chomping at the bit for a patch, so I had no doubt that they would take it seriously.
“What’re you guys gettin’ into?” I asked Sketch and Mouse as I flopped down on the empty chair at their table.
The bar was pretty hopping considering it was only five. There were a bunch of women in next to nothing doing their best to flag down one of the brothers for the night. I didn’t even give them a second glance as I tipped my beer back and waited for an answer.
“Heading over to your place in a bit actually,” Mouse answered and the smirk on his face made me want to slap him.
“Really?” I grunted, wondering why the hell they were going there when I hadn’t fucking invited them.
“Gwenie invited us over for dinner and a movie. She’s cooking, if you can believe that.” His eyes didn’t look away from me as he spoke.
Not only was she invading my space, she was also taking my boys too. I wanted to be mad but I couldn’t find it in me to be. I knew she didn’t have any friends here yet. I could only pray that once her classes started that she would get some of her own. And female ones at that. I didn’t need any more fucking men sniffing around her. Though she was fucking gorgeous and I knew it was bound to happen.
Then my mind went haywire thinking about previous boyfriends. I had no clue if there had been any but come on, a girl like her, there had to have been. I hated them all even not knowing them. I didn’t need to. None of them would ever be good enough for her.
So who would be good enough for her then, asshole?
Yeah, I could really be a dick to myself when I was being an idiot. I knew this. I knew that it would kill me to see her with anyone other than…well, me. But it didn’t change the fact that it could never be.
“Yo, Knight?” Mouse snapped his fingers in front of my face and by the look on his face, I had missed something.
“Huh?”
“You gonna be there or what?”
“Oh…” Did I want to be there? Yes, I did. I needed to be there to watch what the hell was going to go down. As I studied Mouse, I wondered what his intentions were with her, but I wouldn’t ask him, not just yet. “Yeah, I’m headed that way after this.” I tipped my beer back and did my best not to chug that shit.
“B-ry and Ky are coming over too,” Sketch added as he looked up from his phone which he had been typing away on.
“Great,” I grumbled.
I knew that she was friendly with B-ry because he was a club kid too. Though he wasn’t from our chapter, he was there at every big get together when we were growing up. But fucking Ky, I wasn’t sure I wanted her to be friendly with him. He was one of those laid-back guys with a panty dropping smile that had just an edge of darkness to him. A combination that had all the ladies flocking to him whenever he walked into the damn room. Though he was usually one to play into all the of attention, sometimes it was like he didn’t even notice. I wasn’t saying that he was a saint, he just seemed to be more selective with his choices. But that being said, I could see how Gwen might like him, and that bothered me more than it should.
I finished my beer and ignored the speed limit on the way home. I had no idea why I felt the need to beat all of them there but I made sure I did.
The door opened and the scent of dough and meat hit me immediately. I turned the corner to Gwen in the kitchen bent over and the oven open. She straightened and turned with a bubbling hot pizza in her hands.
“The crap!” she screeched obviously not having heard me come in. “Shit, Knight. Really? Make a little noise next time.”
I brushed off her mini panic attack and walked to the fridge. I pulled out a beer trying to find something to say. It didn’t use to be like this. At one time in our lives, I felt like I could tell her anything and her the same for me. But now it was all strained.
“Smells good,” I croaked out and mentally kicked myself.
“Thanks,” she said eyeing me with suspicion. “Are you sticking around to eat?”
“Yeah.” My head bobbed a few times. “The guys should be—”
“Gwenie!” B-ry called as he walked in the door that I’d left unlocked.
As they started to talk, the noise floated down the outside hall and into the apartment. Not long after that, we were all scattered around the living room.
My shoulders actually relaxed and I realized I was smiling. It was hard to be around Gwen and not. Her smile was beautiful and bright. Her laugh was infectious. I wondered how I’d lived without it all these years.
A pain stabbed me in the heart and I knew I was going to break soon. I couldn’t keep my walls up around her. I found that I was fighting harder with each day to keep her in the dark corners of my mind. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do that much longer because she was too bright, too bold. She was everywhere around me even if she wasn’t physically there. And as much as I hated to admit it, she was my drug.
