Page 58 of Axe
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Axe
With my ass planted on one of the couches and an untouched beer sitting on my knee, I tried my best to look like I wasn’t angry at the world. What had happened in church was getting to me and it was more than obvious that we all were trying to keep our distance from one another.
Diesel had run off, as I had expected, he always seemed eager to get home now that he had Ellie and Fate. Not that I could blame him for that. I mean, I couldn’t say much if I did, because I was ready to go myself and see the damn woman that I’d laid down my name for.
Jessica flopped down on the couch beside me. Her body leaned back on the couch, her shoulders both flat against the cushion. She crossed her legs and it didn’t slip by me that it was in the direction away from me. Nothing about her body said she was trying to make a move. Which, I was thankful for.
“So what? You got yourself an old lady now?” she asked, humor ringing in her tone. “She’s nice. I like her. And that little boy is cute as a button.”
Sure, we’d had this weird off again on again thing the last couple of years, but it didn’t feel like she was making fun of me or trying to work her way in again.
I would have said that I was pretty close to her. After all, she’d seen me at my worst times when we’d been alone in that dark room. She’d been there when I couldn’t run from the flashbacks. The way she was acting right then proved to me that she would always be a good friend. And that was all. Because even as her shoulder playfully bumped into mine, I didn’t feel anything. No spark. No electricity. No urge to find a way to keep touching her.
She wasn’t trying to make me feel like shit over the whole thing and that was what I needed most at that moment. She also wasn’t trying to change my mind. She was respecting me and in return, I would always respect her.
“Maybe I’m fuckin’ nuts or something,” I said, shifting the beer bottle around on my knee. “I just can’t explain it. She does chick things to my insides.” A small laugh slipped past my lips. “And that little boy…can’t say no to that cute as fuck kid.”
“Awww. This is so precious,” she said half-jokingly as she slapped her hand over her heart dramatically. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep that last part to myself. But for real, Axe, I’m happy for you. I can tell she does something to you…I see the change in you. I kinda like it.”
Jessica’s eyes followed one of the club girls as she walked by. She sneered down at me and I couldn’t have even given two shits.
“Seems like the claws are out tonight,” Jessica said as she narrowed her eyes at the bitch. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep them in check.” She laughed.
“Yeah, thanks,” I said with a half smile.
“Why don’t you get outta here. I think you’ve been around long enough tonight to let it be known you haven’t abandoned us,” she said, her eyes scanning the room. “Boys are probably too drunk by now to notice if you leave anyway. If any of them ask, I’ll just distract them with my pussy.”
I chuckled. Sometimes she could be a bit crazy.
“Thanks. You’re a true friend,” I said rolling my eyes.
I tossed my arm around her and pulled her in for a side hug before I stood. I chucked my untouched beer into one of the big trash cans then headed out the front door. I was going home…only it wasn’t really my home, but every time I walked in that door that was how it fucking felt.
I rolled up into the driveway, my head a spinning mess.
What had I done? How was she going to react to what I chose to do to save her? But really, was that the only reason I’d done it? No. I knew the answer to that question, at least.
A huge part of me was being selfish when I did it. I wanted her, all of her. And I wanted every motherfucker out there to know it. The thing was, she didn’t need someone to make her feel owned and I knew that was how she would perceive it. But that was the last thing I wanted and I wasn’t sure how to make her see that.
Yes, Savage and I were different people, or so I hoped that we were. My claiming her was the complete opposite of his but I wasn’t sure if she’d see it that way. I didn’t want her mad, I just wanted her safe and standing by my side.
The house was dark when I walked in the back door. The stairs were lit up by the light in the upstairs hall. I made the climb, as quiet as a damn mouse.
When I reached her bedroom doorway, the soft glow illuminated her body. She was curled up around Lil man who was in the middle of the bed. A smile tugged at my lips as I made my way into the bedroom. I kicked off my shoes and climbed onto the bed. Neiryn’s soft snores filled the room as I brushed my finger over his hair.
Her eyes opened and immediately looked into mine. I reached my hand over and cradled the side of her face as I rubbed my thumb back and forth over the soft skin of her cheek.
“Axe,” she whispered.
“Shhh,” I said, cutting off the questions that I knew were coming. “Just let me have this perfect moment a little longer.” My finger made its way into Neiryn’s hand and as soon as I touched his palm, he had a death grip around me.
After a while, I gently picked Neiryn up and carried him down the hall to his crib. Once I was sure he wasn’t going to wake, I headed back to Allison.
When I reached the room, she was sitting up, her back against the headboard. Her bottom lip was caught between her teeth and she was nervously chewing on it.
I sat down in front of her, one knee bent so I could face her, and my calf rested on top of her bare toes.
