Page 49 of Axe
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Allison
I was a wreck on the inside. I was in their clubhouse, sitting with a scary looking man, his old lady, and an obvious clubwhore.
Not that I was judging. But I couldn’t deny the pang I felt in my chest when she leaned up and planted a kiss on Axe’s cheek. I wanted to not like her, but she was actually really nice to me, so I couldn’t.
I could tell that Ellie and Jessica were doing their best to make me feel welcomed and it may have thrown me off kilter a little. I hadn’t had much interaction with people over the last seven years, so for the most part, I just felt awkward as I tried to partake in their conversation.
I had no idea what was going to happen and as we stood in front of the big man’s office, I wanted to throw up and run screaming all at the same time. I wondered if I would make it out alive. Not that I really thought that they would kill me, I mean, it was a possibility with all that Savage had done to them. I would have completely understood it.
Well, here goes nothing.
I sat and the big man with a Buddha-like belly and long gray beard pierced me with his stare. I did my best to hold my head up high and keep my back straight without coming off as disrespectful.
“So you’re the fucker’s wife?” I nodded even though I felt like it wasn’t really a question. “So, what is it that you need to tell me to convince me not to kill you?”
All the blood drained from my face. I could feel it. I was light headed and I gripped the arm of the chair hard as my body swayed. I took in a deep breath, regaining my wits, and told him my long, horrible, cringe-worthy story. I did my best not to leave anything out.
I could feel myself shutting down and my eyes glazing over as I relived the last seven years of my life. I told him how I would be chained to a bed for days on end. How I was kept locked up in a house. How I was expected to be ready for him at all times.
As I went over all the ways Savage had of torturing me I could feel the rage coming off of Axe. He was trying his hardest to stay calm but out of the corner of my eye, I could see his body twitching. I did my best to ignore it but inside I felt like I was slowly suffocating to death. Whatever we had—or could have had, was wrecked now because I was a ruined, fucked up mess and I knew that no one would want to deal with the baggage that came with me. No one could love someone like me.
Tears made their way out of my eyes as I continued on but I wasn’t sobbing.
I went on about the kinds of punishments he had for me if I ever did something wrong or wasn’t ready when I should have been. I talked about how I had gotten pregnant with Neiryn and while I hated to bring a child into that dark world, it was almost a relief because Savage no longer touched me, though the beatings continued after Neiryn was born.
Then I explained almost everything about my escape. I left one tiny detail out. I didn’t tell them about Burke. I couldn’t blow his cover.
When I was done, I took in a shaky breath. Axe surprised me when he slipped his hand into mine, and I flinched only because it was unexpected. Hoping to reassure him, I gave his hand a little squeeze.
Cal gave me a hard look as he watched me for what seemed like hours. The silence was thick and I grew more tense the longer it stretched on. The flimsy desk creaked as he leaned his arms against the edge.
“Take her to the house. Get her outta here. Not a word about any of this to anyone else.” His eyes gave nothing away to what he might have been thinking. Axe nodded as he stood, pulling me up along with him. “I need time to think. Church at seven tonight. Gonna have to share this with the other chapters.”
“I’m sorry,” I added for good measure. “I don’t want to be the cause of any trouble. I didn’t want you to find out so you couldn’t be held accountable for my actions.” I stood tall as I talked directly to Cal, hoping that he would understand that I meant what I’d said.
“Well, you see, sweetheart,” Cal said and there was clear amusement dancing in his tone. Did it make me relax a small bit? Yes. Did I know better than to do so? Yes, to that too. “He’s makin’ you his problem. He’s my boy, means you become my problem, and that means you become the club’s problem. You see how this all works out?”
There was a little twinkle in his eye as he looked over to Axe, almost like he held a sense of pride and acknowledgment in his look. I wasn’t about to ask what any of it meant, but I had a huge feeling Cal was, in a sense, giving Axe his approval or something, but I had no idea what for. He gave Axe a curt nod and then we were headed for the door.
“Son,” Cal called after I’d stepped through the door. Behind me, I felt Axe turn to face the president once again. “Think long and hard about what you’re gonna do. It’s a big thing to claim another man’s woman. Wanted or not, she’s got his mark on her.”
Axe gave a pensive nod and before I could try and figure out what the hell was going on between the two of them, we were headed back to the kitchen. After grabbing Neiryn and giving a short goodbye to Ellie and Jessica, we were out the door.
Back at the house, we carried on like it was a normal day. Only this time he was different. Just like before, he didn’t crowd my space, but his eyes were on me the entire time. And every time I looked over at him his lips would tip up in the sweetest almost smile. His eyes held a new lightness when he met my gaze. Though there were some moments that I caught him staring at the wall, his eyes unfocused as if he was lost in thought.
At one point, I was reading Neiryn a story on the couch. His steps were silent as he approached, but I could feel him. I could always feel him.
Without a word, he leaned down, cradled the side of my head with one hand as his lips grazed my hairline. The simple, sweet kiss was quick but hit me in a big way. He wasn’t distancing himself like I had expected, in fact, since he’d walked out of that office, he seemed to be more affectionate and less guarded. He felt something for me, that much I could tell, but now it was like he’d just let go of all the things that had been holding him back. For the first time ever, I felt cherished.
Then he was gone, up the stairs and into the spare room. I could only assume he was finishing up the crib that he’d gotten. I still couldn’t believe all that he had done for me. But I knew it was all too good to be true. They had a club meeting in a few hours and I had a feeling that my fate would be determined there. I was antsy, on edge, and scared. I did my best to hide it, but it clouded my head to the point I couldn’t think straight.
Neiryn’s eyes grew heavy and I walked upstairs to put him down. I checked in the spare room, curious to see if the crib was done. Axe was just tossing down the mattress when I walked into the room. Neiryn had already fallen asleep, his head resting heavy on my shoulder. Axe turned to me and a rare smile graced his face. It almost had a boyish charm to it. I couldn’t help but smile back as my silly heart threatened to beat out of my chest.
Without a word, he crossed the room and gently lifted Neiryn out of my arms. I melted as I watched Axe carefully lower him down into his new bed.
Damn. I didn’t have the first clue about love, and I wasn’t saying that this was it. But I had a feeling if I spent much more time around this man, I knew I would hand over my heart without a moment of hesitation. Maybe I already had and I was standing there, deep in denial.
