Page 40 of Axe
I had a feeling she wasn’t only saying these things out loud so I knew that she had my number, but also to let me know that she understood her place in all of this. It made my blood run cold and my mouth felt as dry as a desert. I was waiting—just fucking waiting—for the ball to drop.
I forced my eyes back up to hers.
“You are the first one to get their hands dirty and the last one to go home at night, all in the name of the club.” Her tone was flat but her eyes told so much.
When she first saw me after I pushed my way through the door, I got the feeling that she had some kind of knowledge about club life, but now I wondered how she knewthismuch. Though my cut had my patch on it indicating what place I had in the club, I hadn’t told her much about myself or the Steel Paragons.
Rubbing two fingers over my lips, I studied her, my eyes narrowed a tiny bit.
She picked up her cup, wrapped her slender fingers around it like her hands were cold. Her eyes darted down as she took a slow sip. After a moment, she regained herself or found her strength to go on, or whatever. Maybe she was working shit out in her head. Maybe this was the moment she was going to fill in the missing pieces for me. I had no Goddamn clue, so I waited with the patience of a fucking saint.
“I know that you won’t hurt me or Neiryn. I trust you.”
Those words hit me like a slap in the face. As long as I’d been waiting to hear them, they felt like they were about to come with the crushing weight of a heavy boulder crashing down on me.
Her eyes slowly lifted to look into mine. The deep blue threatened to pull me in but I held my ground and cleared my mind. She meant it. She wasn’t trying to trick me or reel me into her sadistic web. She was genuine. She trusted me.
She
Fucking
Trusted
Me
In that moment, I knew that no matter what I wouldn’t do anything to break that trust. Ever. It meant more to me than anything had in a long damn time. There was more to her story and while I needed to know it all, I promised myself that it wouldn’t change anything.
“Darlin’,” I said speaking to her for the first time since I’d walked down here. “All of those things sound like good reasons not to trust me, to stay away from me.” I leaned into the island, my arms strained in their locked position, the muscles cording as I pushed forward.
My words were meant to send a warning. To snap her into reality. But as I said them she didn’t even flinch. Her breaths became heavier and her eyes didn’t back down from mine. I refused to entertain the idea that she fucking wanted me even a little.
“Tell me your story,” she breathed out.
My story wasn’t much of a secret and I had nothing to hide from her. I was who the fuck I was. Didn’t mean I liked it, I had just learned a long time ago that I couldn’t change it.
“Cal, the president of the Steel Paragons.” She nodded and it made me think that she already knew who Cal was and that he was indeed the leader. I decided to store that information in the back of my head for now. If she knew as much about MCs as she had led me to believe, then it wasn’t so far fetched that she knew ones other than the one she’d clearly been a part of.
“Well, Cal took me in when I was twelve. I didn’t have a good home situation growing up. My dad was a mean drunk and took that shit out on my mom and me. He knocked us both around all the time. We lived on the outskirts of town and no one ever questioned anything. Like why I always came to school dirty or that my skin practically clung to my bones. My clothes were forever filthy and my skin held more blue and green than white.”
My hands shook as the memories danced on the outside of my mind. I was tired of them controlling me, clouding me when I least wanted them to.
“One night I came home to my dad beating my mom so bad she couldn’t even stand up. Her face didn’t even look like a face anymore. Her eyes were swollen so bad she couldn’t open them. He kept at it. There was blood all around her. I knew—I just knew—she wouldn’t be gettin’ up ever again. He kept saying that this would be the last time she ever stepped out on him.”
And just like that, the memories took over. I was pretty sure my mouth was still moving, telling the story as my eyes tried their best to focus on the world around me.
“Fuckin’ whore! You deserve every second of this.” My dad’s voice roars out so loud that I can hear it before I even open the door.
I push inside the house, my heart racing and my hands shaking. My mom is curled up on the hard floor. She doesn’t move with each pounding that rains down on her mangled body.
“Mom,” I call out and though I want to go to her, my feet are rooted in place.
“You see this, boy. This is what they get when yer a fuckin’ no good cunt like yer mom here. Worthless, both of you. I’m coming for you next, boy.”
He pounds into her again and again. And when he gets tired of bending over, his feet take over. Her body jerks with every kick but she doesn’t cry out or try to get away.
“This is a lesson here.” He takes a break, only to stumble over to the couch and pick up a shovel that I hadn’t notice was there until now. “Act like a bitch, die like a bitch.”
He brings the shovel up over his head and in the blink of an eye, slams it down onto her lifeless body.
