Page 37 of Axe
I was going out of my mind. As much as I wanted to fill that vacant side, I knew I never could. I had to keep my feelings in check, all of them. The crazy thing was, I had so many of them. My emotions were all over the damn place when it came to that woman. And I wouldn’t even get started on Lil man. That cute as fuck kid about did me in.
I knew in my heart that I would do anything to protect them. Despite the fact that I knew she was still keeping things from me, all I wanted to do was see her safe and happy.
With a heavy exhale, I turned and walked back down the stairs.
I knew I wouldn’t get any sleep. We didn’t have enough burner phones at the club to supply all of us with one. I wished like hell I’d stepped up and said I needed one, though. I was in the dark with no way for Cal or anyone to tell me what the fuck was going on. I felt on edge and antsy.
Looking at the mess that currently took up the space behind the couch, I shook my head. I knelt down and started going through the boxes, putting things in the rooms where they belonged. I figured once I got everything sorted, I could begin to organize it all.
I dragged all of the things for Neiryn’s room upstairs as quietly as I could, which, given that I’d spent my whole life trying to step as lightly as possible and go unnoticed, didn’t take much effort. Then, I decided to just go ahead and build the damn crib. I knew I’d have to do it at some point and the thought of him waking up to see his very own room put together left no doubt in my mind that it was what I was going to do next.
Unboxing the crib, I spread out all the pieces so they would be easy to grab and find.
That was the point that Neiryn chose to let out a small whimper and I knew it would soon be followed by a cry. The poor little guy didn’t sleep worth shit and I hoped that his new space would help with that.
Jumping to my feet, I dashed down the hall and into their room. For a second my steps faltered and I wondered if I was overstepping. But I knew she was tired. I could see the dark circles under her eyes. I had heard her up with him sometimes five times a night. So, if I could give her just a few more hours of calm sleep, then it was what needed to be done.
I leaned over his kid jail and saw his eyes were open and shining with wetness.
“Hey, Lil man,” I said, my voice a soft whisper.
He smiled up at me and his hands reached out like he wanted me to pick him up. So I did, turning to see if Allison was awake once I had him in my arms.
“Let’s let mommy sleep a bit longer, alright?” I asked not really expecting an answer. “Hey, you wanna help me with somethin’?”
To that, he nodded and his hands clapped together wildly. I winced and turned my attention back to Allison. She stirred, her hips and shoulders wiggled a little, but then she settled back down and I headed out of the room.
