Page 33 of Axe
Emotions were thick in the air and I wasn’t sure which ones were choking me more, hers or mine.
“Look at me, Axe,” she said, and I froze. My hands still had a hold on a bunch of loose kids books that I had gathered up from the bottom of the box. “Axe.” Her hand reached out and touched mine.
My throat worked down a hard swallow. This wasn’t me. The way her voice called my name made me feel like I was a goddamn hero. But I wasn’t. I was the furthest thing from that. After what I’d done…I couldn’t believe she was even there next to me, touching me.
I cleared my throat, set the books down on the ground, and stood up. Without even looking at her, I turned and walked out the front door like a damn pussy.
I felt like a giant dickwad. I should have talked to her but I just couldn’t. Instead, I left, knowing that she was insecure on the inside and that she would more than likely take my abruptness to heart, but who could blame her given what the fuck she’d been through.
Fuck!
I knew I had to fix it, but first, I needed some time to think.
I ended up at the clubhouse, no surprise there. It was still early and the place seemed pretty empty. Without even stopping to talk to anyone I headed to my room, grabbed my ax, and headed out back. I needed some alone time and what better way to work through what the hell was going on in my head than getting my frustration out on some wood.
Two hours later, I was sweaty, tired, and hadn’t worked through any of the shit in my mind. I was losing daylight and even I knew it wasn’t smart to swing an ax in the dark. With heavy steps, I retreated back to the clubhouse thinking that maybe hanging out with my brothers would provide enough of a distraction.
I showered, then headed out to the bar area. The club girls, including Jessica, were out in full force even though there were only a handful of brothers there. Crow and Brand were shooting pool at one of the tables, a bad eighties action movie playing on the TV behind them. Dane and Lake were carrying on a conversation, both of their eyes glued to the TV so I could only imagine that they were talking about how shitty the movie was. I chuckled to myself as I watched a few scenes play out on the giant screen. It was really bad.
A few older members were scattered about, their choice of girl for the night hanging off their arms. Jessica sat on one of the couches, her body pressed tight against one of the new prospects.
I took a seat at the bar next to Seven. His hard face glanced over at me and he offered up a chin lift.
“You doin’ alright?” he asked before tipping back his beer.
“Yeah,” I supplied as I reached over the bar and snagged a bottle of water out of the cooler.
“Motherfucker!” Bocca’s normally laid-back voice roared out from down the hall.
I leaned back in my seat just in time to see his computer chair go flying out of his room into the hall, where it crashed into the wall on the opposite side of his door. A moment later, he stalked down the hall, his bulky shoulders pulled up with tension. He met my gaze and I could see the volcano about to erupt behind his eyes. I’d never seen Bocca mad like that before. Sure, the shit we were having to deal with regarding Savage enraged us all, but this was on another level. His head jerked in the direction of Cal’s office and I was off my stool without a second thought.
“The fuck, man?” I asked as I caught up with him.
His chest heaved and his damn body looked like it was vibrating. Damn, he was pissed. He didn’t answer me as he banged on the office door.
“Yeah?” Cal called out and we both entered. “What?” Cal barked.
“Shit. I’m sorry, prez. I can’t believe I didn't catch this before. Fuck. Fuck!” Bocca said, his eyes wild.
“I’m not gonna ask you again,” Cal said and even though he looked calm, I could tell he was a bit shaken.
All these months it was like we were waiting for the next thing to hit us. We’d been through so much and sure, we were getting ourselves together and gearing up for a war to end this shit, but that didn’t mean that something couldn’t happen during that time.
“Someone got into our system,” he all but roared.
Now, I didn’t understand even half of the shit he did, but I understood what he was saying right then and it wasn’t fucking good.
“How long?” I asked.
“I don’t know.” I could hear the anger and disappointment in his voice.
“How the fuck this happen?” I asked.
Bocca paced the small space in Cal’s office. His eyes were unfocused as his hand reached back to free his man bun from the tie thing he used. His hand raked angrily through his hair.
“I got this email. Actually, I’ve gotten a few of them. It was from a company that I order from a lot, offering me a gift card because I’d ordered so much. I mean, it seemed legit, and the gift card was real. So, I never really thought of it before…”
“How many of these have you gotten?” I asked, trying my best to follow along.
