Page 24 of Axe
On instinct, I duck, the bottle just barely missing my head and smashing against the wall beside me, the glass shattering and bouncing back to hit me. It feels like little needles pricking me, but I shake it off. I know if I respond it will only get worse.
I have no idea what he’s going on about, but I’m used to it by now. I simply can’t ever do anything right. And my mom is apparently a whore because she’s gone most of the time, holding down two jobs just to keep a roof over our head and, well, booze in my father’s system. I’m not old enough to really know what a whore is, but I’m smart enough to pick up it’s not something nice.
I was born worthless according to my father and he loves to remind me what he thinks of me every day. Years of hearing it over and over again has cracked my soul and I can no longer hold my head up and believe I’m anything else.
“Where the hell you been, boy?! The kitchen is a fuckin’ mess and yer ass should have cleaned it.”
I don’t even bother telling him that I was at school, it won’t do any good.
I shuffle into the house, heading to my room to put my stuff away. My book bag is full of books that makes it feel like it weighs a ton. The straps dig into my bony shoulders the entire way home, and by the time I finally make the long walk here, I feel like my whole body is bruised.
“You hear me, you little shit?”
I want to grit my teeth. I want to scream at him and tell him how much I hate him. But instead, I hold back my anger and answer him.
“Yes, sir,” I say and my tone holds not an ounce of the anger I feel making my blood boil on the inside.
I learned a long time ago that it isn’t the words you say, it’s the tone they are said in. So now, everything comes out like a dead voice and I hold my emotions tight on the inside.
Before I can make it to my room, I hear the creaking of his chair as he gets up and I know I’ve messed up somehow. The sound of his belt buckle being released follows suit. I want nothing more to hide but I’ve learned that there is nowhere that is safe.
“You answer me the first time. You get that?”
His hand wraps around my arm and he jerks me back to the living room. I hold back my cry as the pain radiates down my arm. He shoves me head-first into the couch. I screw my eyes closed tight because I know what’s coming next and I pray that I’ll still be able to clean the kitchen after it’s all over.
My eyes snapped open and I took a slow look around. I was not in my childhood home. My father wasn’t in the room with me.
I felt a strange weight on my chest and looked down to find a still asleep Neiryn on my chest. I lifted my hand and stroked his hair as I tried to stop my body from trembling.
My head fell back against the cushion and I let out a long breath. Footfalls on the stairs caught my attention and I turned my head to look over. Allison took the last step and stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes softened at the sight and I wanted nothing more than to push the bad shit out of my head. I wished it was that simple, but after years of trying to lose my past, I knew it would always be a part of me.
As her eyes met mine, her brows pinched together in concern.
“You alright?” she asked as she took a tentative step in my direction.
My chest felt tight and I needed to get out of there. I needed a smoke and some air. I couldn’t believe how long I’d been without one, but for some reason, I hadn’t had the urge for one until that moment.
“Yeah,” I shifted the sleeping boy off of me, making sure he was safely situated on the couch, then stood up. “I gotta go.”
I bolted to the door, thankful that I had my shoes on.
Seeing a prospect across the street, I waved him over. He jogged up to me and I appreciated he didn’t take his time.
“Stay here, don’t bother the woman or the kid, but make sure they don’t go anywhere,” I said moving out of the open doorway.
He gave a short nod and like the world’s biggest glutton for punishment, I turned my head to look at Allison. Her hands were clasped in front of her stomach and I could tell by the look on her face that she was confused and maybe a tiny bit hurt.
“I’ll be back,” I said like an idiot. I didn’t wait to see how my words changed her posture. I couldn’t take it any longer.
So, I went to the clubhouse and hid like a pussy. I mean, first I talked to Cal because there was no way that I could be there and him not know about it. Then I went into my room and played bitch.
Cal didn’t have much to say but then again, I didn’t really have much to tell. I knew my answerers disappointed him and I fucking hated that. He knew not to push me though, and I promised I’d get him something by tomorrow.
I flopped down on my bed, I was tired but I knew sleep wouldn’t come. I wanted to head outside but I didn’t have time to get lost like I needed to.
As my eyes drifted closed, I found myself thinking of Allison. Remembering how she moaned as my fingers fucked her had me hard in seconds. My balls ached for release and figuring since I was alone, I might as well.
I unzipped my pants and pushed the band of my boxer briefs down, my dick instantly sprang to freedom. Imagining what it would be to kiss her lips, I tugged at my hard length. Then I let myself go in the fantasy. That was the point, after all.
