Page 80 of Tank
Epilogue
Tank
I couldn’t wait to see my son. It had been six months since the blast had taken him away from me, and though I’d seen him briefly that one night, it hadn’t been enough. Granted, I had pretty much been asleep for half of that, but it still had been too fucking long.
I won’t go into everything that happened to get to this point. Yes, just gonna save that for someone else to tell you about, because as much as I had been Hell-bent to get my revenge on Savage, it just isn’t my story to tell.
Right now, the important thing was that soon my son was going to be back in my arms.
As I paced my mom’s living room for the millionth time, I looked over at Dya. She stood almost tucked into the corner with a hint of an uneasy look on her face.
“Angel,” I said as I tried to reign in my anxiousness. The only thing that moved were her eyes. The moment they met mine I could see the emotions hidden behind them.
Without wasting another second, I went to her and wrapped her up in my arms. Her head fell against my shoulder and I knew I would never get enough of how this fucking woman would melt into me. She let me touch her, let me comfort her, even though she more than likely would never admit to how she was feeling. Never admit to the fact that she needed me right then. And I was okay with that. I found that I didn’t need her words because her eyes always said it all and her body always showed me on the account that it responded to even my lightest touch.
“Hey,” Axe said as he stepped inside the front door.
Reluctantly, I broke away from Dya and moved to greet him in a man hug. If I were a jealous man I would have been bothered by the look that Axe and Dya shared. The two of them had some weird thing going on that I wouldn’t even begin to try and explain. Don’t take that the wrong way, it was nothing sexual at all. I think it was more that they couldn’t figure the other out. I wouldn’t doubt that they were like kindred souls or some shit.
Taking a moment to let Axe get settled, I tried to think of something to say. I had all these words in my head but I knew no matter what I said Dya would still feel the same. I had no doubts that she was questioning everything. I could see it in her eyes that she didn’t think she belonged there and I could argue with that until I was blue in the face, but she wouldn’t see it any other way. Not until the time came that she could be proven wrong.
To be honest, I was a bit on edge myself. I knew she’d spent time with Logan after she’d left me. I also knew she was shaky about that fact like she thought I wouldn’t be okay with it. The moment she told me, in her cryptic words that only I would understand, I fucking felt a warmth inside like no other.
“I’m gonna go check on Mom,” I said then sweetly kissed the side of Dya’s head as I breathed in her amazing scent.
Was leaving her at a time like this a dick move? Yeah, maybe. But I was smart enough to know how she worked. Leaving her alone with Axe would give her the distraction she needed right then. Without me around, she wouldn’t constantly be thinking about what we were all waiting on. I wouldn’t have even put it past Axe to try and engage her in some sort of toneless conversation.
“Hey, Mom. You doing okay?” I asked as I walked into the kitchen. I found her bent over checking the cookies in the oven. This was her distraction.
The moment I made it home and got myself cleaned up, I went and told my mom and sisters about Logan and Darcy. There were many tears, some of which were mine.
“Yep. These should be done in a minute.” She straightened, closing the oven door. “I like her,” she said obviously talking about Dya.
“I know,” I said smiling at her. “You happy now that I got a good woman to look after me?” I chuckled.
“Yes,” she said pulling the oven mitts off her hands and tossing them down on the counter with a little more force than necessary. “Look, I’m your mother and I get to worry about you. I get to want the best for you. You, however, don’t get to mock that. I love you and I only ever want to see you happy.”
Her words were like a slap upside the head. I’d meant no disrespect and deep down she knew that. This was just a very emotional moment for us all and the waiting wasn’t helping any.
“I wish your dad could be here to see this. To see the man you grew up to be. I’m so proud of you and I want you to know that. You have had a few big bumps in the road, but you always made it through. You always found that one thing that made you hold on and keep your head up.” She wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me tightly.
“Yeah,” I grunted because thinking of my dad wasn’t what I wanted to do right then.
“What is it?” she asked, taking a step back to look at me.
Here I was torn because I’d never wanted my mom to know about what I’d seen. I didn’t want to be the one to break the illusion of the man she’d devoted her life and heart to. Especially, since that man was no longer around to defend himself. Not that cheating was something you could ever defend, in my mind anyway.
“There is something you’ve been holding onto all these years. I’ve never asked because I had hoped that one day you would come to me. But I loved your father and he was a good dad to all of you. So, I don’t understand why you have this distaste when it comes to him,” she said, putting a hand on her hip and pinning me with her classic mom stare.
“I…uh…I caught dad with one of the club girls one time. It sort of left a bad taste in my mouth. I hate him for doing that to you. I never said anything to him…because I didn’t know how to, and then he was gone. And I never told you because I didn’t want to taint his memory.” I ducked my head, ashamed of the fact that I had told her but at the same time, it felt good to let it out. There were no more secrets and I felt like I’d just released a huge breath I’d been holding in all these years.
She blinked at me. Once. Twice. Three times, before she nodded her head. She looked like she was trying to gather her words before she opened her mouth. But the thing I found odd was the look on her face. It wasn’t angry or mad or even hurt. It was just, sort of, normal.
“I knew,” she said like it wasn’t as huge of a secret as I had clearly thought it was.
“But you were married. He was cheating on you. I just don’t get it, Mom. Is that what all men do eventually? Am I doomed to want to stray from that amazing woman out there?” I thought about Dya and how I fucking felt about her. I could never see myself stepping out on her, especially when I knew that I’d never get anything better than her.
“You have to understand that not all relationships are the same. Without going into too much detail, which I’m sure you don’t want to hear, I can tell you this, your father loved me. I held his heart and no one could ever take that away from me. I had four kids, Noah. Four! I was tired most of the time. And when we had a moment to ourselves, he would have rather held me in his arms and talked. That was what I needed most.” She paused, looking me right in the eye as she spoke. “He loved me and I loved him. I knew what was going on because it wasn’t a secret. In fact, it was my idea and it didn’t bother me at all. Not saying that that sort of thing would work for everyone, but it worked for us. He always gave me what I needed the most.”
