Page 74 of Tank
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Tank
It felt good to be on the back of my bike, the air cool enough to make me feel alive for the short ride through town. I did my best not to look at the place where my house once stood as I rode down the street to Diesel’s house, but my head turned on its own at the last second.
What the hell was I going to do now? I had no damn home. It wasn’t like I didn’t have places I could go. I had a room at the compound I could stay in. Then there was my mom’s, but what twenty-eight year old wanted to move back in with their mom, no matter how awesome she was. I could also crash with my sisters, or even stay at Darcy’s house, but all that felt weird, too. I realized that I was going to have to lie to them for a little while to keep Logan and Darcy safe. It would be even harder to stomach if I had to share a space with them all the time. So the compound it was.
But what was I going to do after that? Did I want to rebuild? There were too many memories there but I knew they were all buried under the dust and rubble. It would never be the same. But did that mean we couldn’t start anew? Couldn’t make something better and move on? I had no fucking idea how to answer any of those questions. It wasn’t like I had to come up with anything right then, we still had to get this Savage thing dealt with, anyway.
My hand fell hard and heavy against the front door. I wasn’t sure what I’d be met with when the door opened and I didn’t have to wait long because, not even a minute later, Ellie’s face filled my vision. Like we were both frozen in time, we just stood there for a good long while, the tears pooling in her huge green eyes as she looked up at me. And damn, it broke my heart. I’d missed her. Missed Fate. It all hit me as I stood there trying to find the right words to say.
“I thought I’d never see you again,” she whispered and I could tell her tears were ones of shocked joy.
“I’m sorry, El. So fuckin’ sorry.” I managed to get out, my voice cracking as my own tears stung my eyes.
Then she fell into my arms and I wrapped her tiny body in the tightest bear hug ever.
“Don’t break my damn woman,” Diesel said, a hint of a smile playing on his lips as I placed Ellie back on her feet. “Brother, good to fuckin’ see you.”
I took in a deep breath trying to ready myself for all the words I was about to say.
“I’m sorry, man. What I said was shitty and I can never tell you how fuckin’ bad I feel that I said all of that.”
“Stop,” Diesel said, motioning me to come in. Ellie shut the door behind me as I moved further into the room. “I get it. Already forgotten. I’m just glad you are back.” He pulled me in for a man hug, hard back-clap and all.
Before the moment could get any more emotional, Fate let out the loudest squeal of glee I’d ever heard a kid give. I turned my head to the side, looking for the little girl. I couldn’t even imagine how big she’d gotten.
“Oh, shit,” I said looking down at the mat spread out on the floor to see Fate roll over and with shaky movements, get up on her hands and knees. Her big eyes turned up to me like she wanted nothing more than to get to me but couldn’t figure out how.
Without hesitation, I stepped over to her and scooped her up. Damn, she’d gotten so big and I hated all the time I’d missed. Granted, some of that couldn’t be helped, me being in a coma and all. I held her close and her little fingers grabbed at my beard like she’d done when she was younger. It was like she knew who I was but I couldn’t let myself believe it. It’d been so long and she was so little. But as her tiny nose moved back and forth against my cheek, I knew she remembered me. Maybe it was a smell thing. Fuck, I had no idea. All I knew was my heart shattered wide open at that moment and I held her close doing my best not to squash her.
“I think she missed her Uncle T,” Ellie said, her soft hand landed on my back as she looked back and forth between the two of us.
“And I missed this little princess, too,” I said cooing a bit.
It was true, as much as I had a lot of anger in me before, it was all gone the moment I saw her again. I only wished Logan could have been here too. He loved that little girl like no other and I couldn’t wait for the moment I could bring him back, for her as much as for me.
“Where is the woman?” Ellie asked as I shifted Fate to the side a bit. My eyes snapped over to Diesel who only threw me a nonchalant half shrug. I should have known that he would tell her.
“Not here,” I answered shortly. I wasn’t mad at Ellie, but I couldn’t really go into it right then. “She, uh, left me in the middle of the night. It is what it is.” I did my best to brush it off but I could tell by the look that passed between the two of them that they weren’t buying it.
I kissed Fate on the nose and handed her over to Ellie. I didn’t want to go but I knew I had to see my mom. I had no doubt that she knew I was back and the longer I put off going over there the more shit I would get from her. Sure, I was hesitating because I had hurt her and I was under no illusion that I hadn’t.
Ellie tossed her free arm around my waist before I had a chance to make my exit. Diesel’s eyes softened at the sight and I was amazed that the love between those two. I’d seen it before, but I never really paid attention until that moment. Maybe it was knowing that I’d recently given that very same look to a woman who’d captured my own heart. My eyes were open and not having Dya there really sucked.
“Love you, Tank,” she said as she released me.
“Love you, too. I’ll see you soon.” With that, I was out the door and back on my bike as fast as my feet would take me.
Within two seconds of walking into Mom’s place, I was mauled by three overly emotional women as they fought their way to hug me. My heart warmed as I took my turn with each one of them, loving the embrace of my family. I hadn’t really realized what I’d missed until today. I should have never left. But then again, I wouldn’t have met Dya and I wouldn’t have found out my son was still alive or that Darcy was alright. All things I couldn’t talk about with the current women surrounding me. All for different reasons, of course.
Mom was the first to speak, her words catching me off guard and taking away my breath as I searched for the right thing to say.
“I’m glad you’re home. This is where you belong. Leave it all at the door and we all will move forward together,” she said, her head held high and her tone firm like she’d been waiting to say those very words to me for a long while now.
“Me too, Mom.” I pulled her in for another hug.
“Now where is this killer hottie that Axe told me all about. Not sure why he kept calling her that though,” Mom said as she searched behind me like someone was going to appear out of thin air.
