Page 65 of Tank
CHAPTER THIRTY
Tank
My sister dragged me down the hall until we reached the door at the end. She stood there, shifting nervously on her feet. My heart started to race. For some reason, my mind had an idea what was behind that door but I’d been to Hell and was currently on my way back, so I wouldn’t allow myself to even believe that it might be true. Because if all the ‘what ifs’ came back, I knew I’d break if it turned out I was wrong.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” she said looking up at me with a mix of emotions playing on her face. “Who is she?”
“Stop stallin’,” I said losing patience with all the games. No one was telling me what was going on and I was damn tired of standing there in the dark. “The fuck is going on?”
She took a deep breath and pulled her shoulders back. Then she delivered the words that I never thought I’d hear in a million fucking years.
“Grass is alive. He was pulled out before the bombs went off,” she said low but loud enough for me to hear every word.
“What?!” I roared, shock and anger clenched my heart so tight I felt like I was having a heart attack.
After I collected myself, I cracked the door open. The light on the night side table cast a dim glow on the whole room. The little boy sleeping on the bed was face down with his head covered in curls that were a little longer than I’d last remembered. His small body rose and fell heavily with a steady rhythm, he seemed unaffected by my outburst a moment ago. But then again, that kid had always slept hard. I used to say he slept like the dead, but somehow that no longer seemed appropriate to say.
With heavy steps, I made my way over to the bed. I needed to see his face, to touch him, it wouldn’t feel real until I did. How did I know I wasn’t dreaming? Or maybe I’d gotten my wish after all. Maybe I was dead and this was my own Hell that I was moving through.
He didn’t even shift as my weight dipped the mattress when I sat down on the edge of the bed. It all felt so unreal. Like luck was there just waiting in the corner, ready to stab me as soon as I moved his hair out of the way so I could see his face. But as I did just that, the beautiful face of my boy filled my vision. Tears spilled from my eyes and ran down my cheeks. I couldn’t hold back the emotions if I wanted to.
All the air left my lungs as I folded over him and my huge body covered his. I inhaled his smell, remembering the familiarity of it like I’d just smelled it yesterday. He was so warm. Alive. Fuck, I didn’t know what to do now.
I cried silently until there was no more wetness to fall from my eyes and he slept through it all. I wanted more than anything to wake him, but knowing what I was going to have to do, it was best that I didn’t. I ached to hear his voice call my name, to have him know how much I loved him and that I’d come for him. But it wasn’t the time just yet.
The club was still in deep shit. Savage was still alive and the damage he had already caused the club was too great. None of us were safe. And I was under no illusion that if it had been anyone but Dya that had taken that contract, I would be dead.
Perhaps that was something I should thank luck for or some shit. I got fucking lucky once again. But how long until it ran out? I wouldn’t put my son in the line of fire again. I wouldn’t take that chance at all.
So, as fucking hard as it was, I had to leave him here until this shit was all over. Knowing Darcy was here with him eased the pain a bit.
I took a few deep breaths, collecting myself as best as I was able to, before I took one last look at him. My mind was made up. I wasn’t changing it no matter how anyone tried to convince me, but I had a good idea that no one would.
I made my way to the door, where Darcy was watching with bleary eyes. I let out a heavy breath as I walked past her and into the hall. I heard her shuffle behind me, lightly closing the door.
When I rounded the corner the first thing I saw was Dya. The slight look of worry in her eyes pulled at my heartstrings.
Yeah, I got that things were now different and I had no idea how she felt about the situation. I mean it was one thing to be in love with a broken man, but now I had a son. Yes, in love, because even if she wouldn’t say it, that didn’t mean she didn’t feel it. I knew she couldn’t actually have kids but that didn’t mean she’d never thought about it. Right? Granted, her profession wasn’t really one for raising a kid in. I guessed it was something I was going to have to ask her at some point.
Needing to feel her against me, I walked with hurried steps across the room until I wrapped her up in my arms. She clung to me like she never wanted to let me go. And the thing was, I never wanted her to. It felt weird to go from nothing for so long to this. To go from being disgusted with the thought of most women to being head over heels for one. But it was a good weird.
She melted into me and the soft sigh that escaped her lips barely registered to my ears. We needed to talk. I needed to put everything out in the open and figure where to go from there.
But first, I had to take care of club shit. Because life would never go on how either of us wanted it until Savage was put down.
“You ready to go?” I asked releasing her from my hold.
She didn’t let go as her brown eyes peered up at me full of questions. Not answering any of them because I didn’t trust myself to talk about it yet, I turned to Grant only to find him tossing a concerned look at my sister. If I would have been in the right frame of mind I might have noticed the look and silent conversation that passed between them. I might have even voiced the questions that I might have been thinking. But the only thing I could think was that I needed to get out of there before I chickened out and changed my mind about leaving my son.
“Thanks, man,” I said holding my hand out to him. He gave me a firm shake and a stiff nod as if to say it wasn’t a big deal, but to me it was. He was protecting my family and they meant the world to me. I owed him more than I could ever imagine. “Keep them safe.” The words came out low and full of desperation. Because I wanted to see them again soon, after the dust had settled.
“I will,” Grant replied, his eyes flicking over to my sister and a softness touched them once his gaze found hers.
Well, fuck. I couldn’t deal with whatever the hell was going on with that right now. So, I grabbed Dya’s hand and walked out the cabin door. I didn’t step foot off the porch until I heard the locks engage.
The ride away from the cabin was as silent as the one there. I let her drive, mostly because I was too drained to concentrate on the road, but also because I knew she’d fight me again and I just didn’t have it in me.
Halfway back to the Gray Fort compound, I made her pull over and stop at a motel right off the highway. It was late and I was sure she could use a break and a bit of sleep. Luckily, Savage and his fucks didn’t take my wallet, but I guess there wasn’t really much they could have done with it anyway.
