Page 37 of Tank
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Nadya
The rain pelted down on the roof. It had been going all day and I dreaded the run down the stairs to the bar. I knew I’d be soaked the moment I stepped outside. And I wasn’t an umbrella kind of girl.
I threw on a tank top. Well really, it was an old cut up tee. I knew I’d get hot down in the bar and the shirt would allow for good air flow. I pulled on dark jeans and tossed my boots on. I found an old flannel that I’d picked up fuck knows where. It was probably some guy’s that I’d banged and it obviously didn’t hold any sentimental value. I guessed it was left behind after said bang and I’d stuffed it in my bag in a hurry to leave.
Whatever. I just needed something to keep me warm on the way down. It would be coming off as soon as I stepped back inside.
The fucking flannel didn’t help one bit. The icy drops hit my body with a stinging bite and I thought that I should buy an actual winter coat.
Wait!
What?
That thought was all wrong because that meant I would need one. Like for some reason, I was thinking that I would be here long enough to actually use one. Nope. Fuck that. And fuck this mountain winter shit.
I pulled the back door to the bar open with more force than needed. It swung wide, hitting the wall with an ear-splitting bang, as I stomped inside. My feet hit the wood floor as hard as the anger hit my soul. I yanked the flannel shirt off and tossed it on a random stool. A full body shiver wrecked me. I was wet, cold, and pissed off. Not a good combination. I checked myself in the mirrored wall that held the opened bottles of liquor and sure enough, my hair was a mess. What little makeup I had on, now made my face horror house worthy. I blew out a harsh breath. I shouldn’t have cared, but it wasthatday of the week—the one that he always came.
Noah.
Just thinking about him made me angry again. I scrubbed my face with a paper towel, the roughness scratching my skin and making it look red and blotchy. I ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt to tame and fluff, but it was useless. With an aggravated growl, I gave up.
Thirty minutes later, I had the bar open. The hours rolled on. It seemed to be too wet and cold for most people and the lack of customers only gave me time to think. To stew. To hate myself even more. What had I become? No one had gotten under my skin the way that Noah had. Ever.
The lines were blurring. Lines that I’d never had before. I had jobs and I did them without question. I didn’t think about who those people were or what they had done in their life. I didn’t wonder where their life took a wrong turn or who they would leave behind. To put it bluntly, I didn’t give a fuck. A job was a job. Kill and move on.
Only now it wasn’t. Now I couldn’t.
My employer had become something. A figure standing on one side of the line. Now that my eyes had been opened, there was no going back. Noah’s son was dead and now there was a face to that evil. There was a face to the monster that had made that happen. I had no idea and in the back of my mind, maybe I didn’t want to know. His son was dead and for all I knew, it was some random accident. A fall at the playground. A heart condition. Something that couldn’t be helped or stopped. But that wasn’t the case at all. His death was intentional.
I didn’t know the whole story but I knew Lucy and the tone she’d told me in had said it all. Noah’s son was meant to die. It was horrible and so fucked up. A kid. An innocent fucking kid. And that all led to me. I was now on the wrong side of the line. I was now evil.
And that was a hard pill to swallow considering that I’d never really put any thought into it before. Sure, I knew that I was no saint and that killing people was, well, wrong. But I had always been able to block that part out, closing my mind and emotions off. Suddenly, the blinds were open and the dark room was filled with light. That light was shining on me, showing all of the stains that tainted my soul. It was a heavy thing to see.
As the night went on, I realized he wasn’t coming. Maybe it had all been too much for him to carry and the burden finally crashed down on him.
My heart raced and my hands started to shake. I had to see him, but there was no way I could go to him. I’d been so careful not to set foot in that cabin, knowing that my face would be seen if I did. I was sure that only Lucy and myself were the only ones that could tap into the feed, but there was that sliver of doubt that anyone could have been watching. And if the man behind the money found out, it wouldn’t be good.
With trembling hands, I pulled out my phone. I searched and searched, my finger flipping through the different cameras with a frantic need. He wasn’t there. The house was still.
Then the fucking weirdest thing happened, a lone tear slipped from my eye. I brushed it away with angry fingers as I blinked my eyes to stop anymore that might have tried to escape.
I closed down the bar, a numbness took over my mind and body as I did. I’d come here to kill him but I’d stayed to save him. It was all so wrong and yet it felt so right. Realizing it only made me feel like I had failed like never before. Because, if he wasn’t at home and he wasn’t here, in my mind, that could have only meant one thing. It didn’t slip past me that was where my thoughts went first and how it gutted me. Was this what it was like to worry about someone? To care about someone? It felt fucking weird.
Then a light went off in my head and before I knew it my phone was pressed against my ear.
“Yeah?” Lucy answered right away.
“I can’t find him.” The words rushed out of me so fast I wondered if she understood any of them. “I need help.” Words I wasn’t big on using.
“Okay. Alright.” I heard theclick click clickof the keys as her fingers flew over them. “He’s not in the house, hmm.” I was pretty sure she was mumbling to herself.
“Yeah, I know. I’ve already looked. He didn’t come here tonight. I…” The words died in my throat. It was bad enough for me to think them, but if I said them out loud it would become very real and there would be no going back from that. “What if he did it? What if it was just too much for him to take? And I couldn’t stop him.”I couldn’t save him.
“Calm down. Let me track his phone,” she said, still typing away. But my mind wouldn’t quit.
“Oh shit! What if I’ve been found out? What if Savage knows I haven’t done my job and he came here to do it himself? Fuck!!” I roared and grabbed the closest thing, which happened to be a bottle of tequila, and tossed it against the back wall.
