Page 23 of Tank
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Nadya
“Are you still alive?” Lucy asked me with humor in her tone as soon as I hit the answer button. It was the afternoon after the big guy had left. I wasn’t used to someone worrying about me and I couldn’t help but to smile, thinking that it was sweet. Completely unnecessary, but sweet nonetheless.
“Did you really think otherwise?” I snorted.
“True. It is you, after all.” She laughed. “Well, what the hell happened?!”
“He slept. I watched. Then I made eggs. He ate. Then he left.” I knew this wouldn’t be enough information to satisfy her, and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the aggravated growl that escaped her.
“That’s it? Come on, there has to be more. Give me something. I live in the dark, here, I need something to live vicariously through,” she almost whined.
“Seriously, that was it. Less than five words were exchanged,” I said, pausing for a moment. “Okay, maybe a few more than five. It was weird and awkward, to put it mildly.”
“You didn’t press for more?”
“Why would I? I needed him gone as soon as possible.”
There was a long moment of silence, and I could tell she was contemplating telling me something. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to know what she was going to say. But what I was sure of was that she knew a hell of a lot more than I probably wanted to know. My targets needed to stay just that—targets—with no life and no goals. Nothing that could make them human to me.
But even as I tried to harden myself, I knew this guy was anything but just a simple job. That was my own fault. I somehow had not taken him out the moment I knew he was there. I’d let him go on. I’d watched him. I’d taken in his every move. And even when he was right in front of me, served up on a fucking silver platter, I didn’t make a move. I pushed away all the questions that surrounded the whole thing the best I could. But they kept popping back up.
I remembered the look in his eyes. The hopelessness. The broken glint that didn’t shine. I wanted to know why this beautiful man felt like he had no way but down to go. I wanted to dig inside and find the root of what had broken him. I wanted to know why he had burn marks and how much of his body was covered with scars.
“Something doesn’t feel right,” I found myself saying in almost a whisper. I didn’t really mean to say that out loud but there was no taking it back.
“Yeah?” Lucy said a bit hopeful. I knew by that tone she agreed with me, though she would never tell me that outright.
“Fuck! This is not good,” I gritted out as I flopped down onto my bed.
His scent filled the air around me. Being so lost in my head, I had temporarily forgotten that he’d spent the night tossing and turning in the spot I was currently splayed out on. It was a mix of day-old man and a sweet scent of cedar. For some strange reason, I found the combination oddly intoxicating.
“What the hell are you doing? Are you smelling something?” she screeched in my ear. I’d completely forgotten that I had the phone pressed against my ear and that she was on the other end. Yes, I was smelling my pillow. I was taking in the scent like it held some sort of answers.
“No!” I snapped defensively. Even though we’d never been around each other in person, I had an idea that she knew me well enough to know I was lying. No matter how hard I tried to keep myself impassive around her, I couldn’t. She was my outlet, the one person I could let my hair down around. As much as I hated being vulnerable to anyone, I loved that I had her. “How’s it going with lover boy?” I asked, changing the subject as I jumped up and moved away from the overwhelming scent left behind by the big guy. The chair, yeah, that was a better place to be.
I may not have known a lot about what she did, but I knew that she had this guy that she often helped out. See, with all her screens she had eyes practically everywhere. Well, everywhere that mattered in our dark world. She kept watch over the outlaws. I didn’t know which ones and I never asked. I knew some various groups, but for the most part, I kept my nose out of anything that wasn’t in my world. And my world was killer for hire. I knew my main competitions and the up and coming.
But Lucy, she kept watch on everything. And she had this one guy, whose name I didn’t know, that she helped out. When she got a whiff that something was going down that pertained to his business, she would call him and give him a heads up. She would disguise her voice and always blocked her number. She was an amazing hacker and when she called him she somehow made it say something different every time. It was always cute or catchy so he would know it was her that was calling. And from what I’d heard, he’d never once missed her call. She’d only told me because she needed someone to talk to. Even if she wouldn’t admit it, she was a hopeless romantic deep in her heart. Maybe that was why we worked because I was the complete opposite.
Anyway, she for some reason got drunk one night, courtesy of the pizza delivery boy that she bribed to bring her a bottle of wine with her pepperoni and spinach pie; and told me everything. She needed an outlet and I was happy to be that. She confessed that she had been watching this guy, who she never gave a name for. She, for some strange reason, had seen the good in him and decided to help him out. Through her short conversations with him, she’d learned a few things about him and found herself in deep with the feelings towards this guy. But I couldn’t figure out why.
Maybe it was that I never knew, or cared to know, anything about love. I lived my life on the move and never stopped long enough to care about anyone who’d briefly passed through my life.
“Things have been crazy,” she said. “I think something big is coming.”
“Hmmm.” I didn’t push for more. I left it open for her to tell me if she wanted.
“Anyway. This last time he asked me to stay on the phone with him.”
“Yeah, and?” I said, urging her to keep going.
“Well, I tried. I really did. But after about three minutes I freaked out and hung up.” She groaned and I could hear a thump of what I imagined was her hitting her head on her desk in frustration and embarrassment.
I softly laughed as I cradled the phone between my ear and shoulder. I reached down the side of the chair and pulled out the handgun that I had stored there. Believe me when I tell you it was just one of many hidden around my place. I began to disassemble and reassembling it as I carried on the conversation with Lucy. It was like second nature at that point and the repetition calmed me.
“So, what are you going to do then?” I asked.
