Page 75 of Diesel
“We love you too, Caleb,” Mom said. “We have missed you so much. Not a day goes by that we don’t think about you.”
“Looks like we will be planning a trip to North Carolina soon, then,” Dad said, shocking the shit out of me. But, then again, he was my dad, and I shouldn’t have been surprised that he kept tabs on me.
“You know where I’m at?”
“I knoweverything, son.” I smiled at his implication. Well then, there was no need to go into it. “Take care of that little one. I’m glad you called.”
“We’ll see you soon, Caleb. We love you,” Mom said.
“I love you guys, too. I promise I’ll call soon,” I said. I hung up after a round of goodbyes.
Fate squirmed in my arms. Her little arm reached out as she moved her nose against my chest. A little squeak came out of her mouth.
“Nope, can’t feed you, little one. Don’t have the right equipment.” I ran my finger over her fine hair before standing up.
“She hungry?” Ellie asked, her eyes only half open.
“Yeah, baby,” I said as I settled Fate into Ellie’s ready arms.
I watched in awe as Fate latched onto Ellie’s breast like a pro. I’d seen Ellie feed her several times already but it never got old. Ellie smiled at Fate, then looked at me. Her smile grew as she watched me taking it all in.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you, too. More than I ever thought I could love someone.” I kissed her head, breathing in her warm sent.
I would never get tired of her. I truly was a lucky fucking man. I would never forget it and I would spend the rest of my life letting my girls know just how much I was grateful for them.
Ellie
I still remembered the first time Diesel held our little girl in his arms. Fate Rose Monroe came two weeks early but was as healthy as could be. She came out a fighter, with lungs powerful enough to fill the whole room with her screams. She wanted all of her uncles and aunts to know she was here.
Diesel held her against his chest, gunk and all, as soon as they handed her over. I should have been mad or jealous that he got to hold her first, but the sight of them melted my heart. He whispered into her ear right before they took her out of his arms to clean and check her over. I would have given anything to hear what he told her. After she was ready, the nurse handed Fate back over to him, wrapped in a generic white blanket. His eyes never left her as he lowered her down into my waiting arms.
She was small, but the doctor said she was healthy and a perfectly normal weight. Diesel’s hand didn’t leave her body as she wiggled against my bare chest. She was so beautiful. So perfect.
I blinked my eyes back into focus. The picture that had me lost in my memory was a still image of that day in front of me. At the time, I hadn’t even realized that Reagan had been in the corner of the room. I vaguely remembered asking for her to be there. She snapped a picture of Diesel holding Fate right after she came out. She printed it off for me in black and white and it now sat on the dresser, directly across from the rocker and crib, where we could see it all the time. The look on his face was pure happiness.
I looked down at my sleeping angel. At three months she was a chubby and happy baby. She had my green eyes and her daddy’s dark hair. She had his brow and my cute freckle speckled nose. She was the best mix of both of us.
I may not have been perfect. And Diesel may have done a lot of unquestionable things, but we were everything good for her. We vowed to always be there for her. We promised to make everything right in the world for her. We loved her more than I ever thought was possible. And not only did she have us, she had a whole army willing to do anything for her.
It was funny to think back on the last year of my life. I started out as a shell of a person, nodding my head at whatever my father wanted me to do. I did it without even realizing it. At one point, I thought I was going to have to do it all on my own. A single parent that didn’t even have a job at the time. But in the end, I was lucky. My girl was lucky. It may not have been the perfect life in some people’s eyes, but it was more than I could have ever asked for.
And they were all there three weeks ago when Diesel and I said our vows. The day was absolutely perfect. Reagan took Fate in the car and Diesel put me on the back of his bike for the first time since he’d claimed me and we drove to the compound. All the while, I had no idea what was going on. When we showed up, the whole club was standing around outside the back. Reagan dressed me in a simple, white dress and did my hair with baby’s breath weaved into it. I said yes to my man as he stood there in his black jeans, black v-neck tee, and his cut holding our little girl. The ceremony was small and filled with everyone we knew and held dear. It was perfect and everything I could have wished for.
“Hey,” Reagan said softly as she popped her head through the cracked door. She moved to stand beside me after I waved her in. “God, she is so adorable.”
“Yeah,” I said, smiling down at my bundle of joy. “But I guess I’m a bit biased, huh?” We whispered out soft laughs, then Reagan bent down and kissed Fate on the forehead.
“Uh, she’s giving me baby fever.” We laughed again.
“Is that such a bad thing? I know Loch is a bit… older… but I think he’d be able to handle a little one,” I said trying to be delicate about it. There was about a fifteen-year gap between them, but it never seemed to matter. They were good together, and you could tell he loved her with everything he had in him.
“Eh, we talked about it once,” she said, brushing it off. “We both agree that now is not the time.”
I understood what she meant. There were things going on with the club that I still didn’t have full knowledge about. And I probably never would. However, I knew any of them would do everything to keep us safe. That was what I held on to. I put my trust in the club. It was a lot for me to do after everything that had happened with my father and Steven. Even after the Tammy thing. But I decided that if I didn’t give them my all, then why should they do the same for me. So I did what any so-called old lady would do, I was there for my man and his brothers if and whenever they needed. Yes, I had learned a lot over the last few months. With Reagan and Jessica’s help of course.
“We’re gonna head out,” Reagan said, reminding me that I had a house full of people. I’d been lost in the little bubble of the room with my girl. I got up and placed Fate down in her crib, watching as she stirred slightly, but never fully woke. I hugged Reagan and followed her out to the living room.
