Page 74 of Diesel
Epilogue
Diesel
I held my little girl while Ellie slept in the hospital bed a few feet away. They were both truly beautiful. Ellie was exhausted. And I was thankful that the birth went perfectly.
I remembered standing there, holding Ellie’s hand, completely amazed at her as she pushed our daughter out into the world. I may have been a complete fucking wreck on the inside but I managed to keep calm. I just wanted everything to go right. With all that had happened during the pregnancy, I was worried that the birth might be hard. Or that something would happen to either one of them. Yes, some of that did stem from my past. Until I held my little girl in my arms, a huge part of me feared that it would never happen.
Our little girl was perfect. The doctor held her up to me not even a minute after she came out. Without hesitation, I cradled her into my body. Not going to lie, it was the grossest yet most beautiful thing I’d ever seen or been a part of. With my lips right next to her ear, I whispered how lucky I was to be holding her. I told her how much I loved her and how she had the best mother in the world.
The moment Ellie got to hold her was a sight I would never forget. Watching the absolute joy that came over Ellie’s face and the tears that streamed down her cheeks did me the fuck in. I knew at that moment I was complete. The hole that was in my life that drove me into darkness for too long was finally filled.
Fate was sleeping deeply on my chest. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She wasn’t even a day old and she held my heart.
There was just one thing I needed to do. I carefully reached for my phone and toyed with it for a minute trying to find the nerve to hit the call button.
I hadn’t talked to my parents since I walked out of the hospital all those years ago. That was on me. I couldn’t handle anything and I pushed everyone away. Then I joined the club and I knew my dad wouldn’t approve. Even though he was states away, it still wouldn’t have looked good to be the state chief of police and have a son who was on the other side of the law. I figured it was just best to let sleeping dogs lie. It in no way meant that I didn’t miss them.
They had always been great parents. They supported me whenever I needed it. They were always there for me and had I let them, they would have stood by me through it all. I did have some regrets when it came to them. But now was the time. I dialed the number and hit send.
“Hello?” My mom’s voice rang through the speaker. It was just like I always remembered it, light and welcoming.
Knowing what time it was, I imagined her and my dad had just sat down to breakfast. My dad was probably reading the paper or going over notes in preparation for the day. He was more than likely having oatmeal that my mom would make him eat. She always tried to sneak fruits and nuts into it, and he would do his best to eat around all of them. I almost chuckled at the thought. I knew they would probably never change. I pictured my mom with a confused look on her face as the phone rang, not used to getting calls that early in the morning. And my dad more than likely didn’t even notice, too into what he was reading.
“Hello?” Her voice rang out again in my ear making my eyes water with joy and guilt at the same time.
“Mom?” I cleared my throat, trying to rid the giant lump that had formed there.
“C-Caleb?” Her voice sounded as choked up as mine. “Is that you?”
“Yeah. It’s me,” I said, clearly unable to get my words out. “I’m sorry.” I didn’t realize until that moment how much I’d fucked up. And how much I really needed them.
“Oh, baby. It’s okay. Marv! It’s Caleb!”
“I heard.” I could hear my dad in the background. I knew he was only a few feet away, but yet my mom still yelled with excitement. His gruffness not intended to be mean.
“Put me on speaker mom,” I said. I heard shuffling in the background. And I could almost see in my head, my mom getting up and going to my dad’s side of the table and handing him the phone to do as I requested.
“Son,” my dad said once he got it all sorted out.
“Dad.” There was a pause and I knew I needed to fill the silence. “I have something to tell you guys.”
“Are you okay? Did something happen to you? Where are you?” My mom started to turn frantic.
“Mom, no. I’m fine. Perfect, actually. Hold on,” I said and took my phone away from my ear. I snapped a picture of Fate against my chest and sent it to them. “Check your phone. I sent you a text.” I hoped that they would be able to figure out how to do that with me still on the line.
“Oh my…” my mom whispered and I knew they had gotten the picture.
“Meet your granddaughter, Fate Rose Monroe.” I could hear the pride in my own voice.
“She’s… Oh, Caleb, she’s so beautiful,” Mom said.
“Yes, she is.” Dad’s voice broke. He may have been tough, but I knew he had a big heart. “She looks just like you, son.”
“I’m a grandmother.” The excitement was thick in my mom’s voice. I could just see it coming. She was going to go overboard on everything to spoil the little one.
“I love you guys. I know I’ve been a shitty son the past few years, and I am truly sorry. I can never make up for that. But I hope we can mend fences and move on. My life… our life just wouldn’t be right if you guys weren’t in it.” I blew out a harsh breath.
There was more, so much more, that I needed to say, but this was not the time. I hoped that this was just the beginning and that one day we would be able to sit down and talk.
