Page 63 of Diesel
The happy mood was interrupted by my memories flooding back in. I shot Tammy. Sure, she’d been crazy and was about to shoot Diesel, but I still shot her. More than once.
“She’s dead, isn’t she?” My eyes focused blankly on the wall.
“Shhh. Don’t.” He brushed the hair away from my face then moved my head to look at him. “Don’t do this to yourself. You did what you had to do. Always remember that.”
I nodded not completely feeling comfort in his words.
My body felt heavy again and all I wanted to do was just close my eyes. Maybe sleep would be the answer to my problems. I could forget it all for a little while. I let myself drift off without another thought. It seemed to have been too easy.
But my mind kept going even in my slumber. So much had changed in just the last however many hours. I was now a killer. It kept replaying over and over again in my dreams. Only this time, I was on the outside looking in. I was further, yet closer at the same time. It was strange and warped. I wanted desperately to run from it. But I was stuck watching the real horror show.
I faded in and out constantly, never fully being able to pull myself awake. Voices filtered in and out and I recognized most of them. Every time Diesel’s voice was there, low and hushed like he was trying not to wake me when he talked. I could feel his hand in mine and I found it so comforting. Just knowing he was here, right beside me, made the pain of what I’d done almost bearable. He kept willing me to come back to him while everyone else reassured him I was okay.
“I was thinkin’ we should name you Kick-ass.” Surely, I didn’t hear him right. There was no way he was serious. “Kick-ass Fighter Monroe. Yeah. You gonna help me get your momma on board for that one?”
“No,” I said letting out a little giggle. “Monroe? And wait…no, just no.” I smiled as I opened my eyes to look at him. His face held a light, boyish charm as he smiled back at me.
“What? It’s a fuckin’ awesome name, pixie. You can’t even deny that.” That was the moment our girl decided to throw a hard kick that made me flinch slightly. “See, she likes it.”
“No, she’s protesting it.”
“Fine. Danger?” he asked with a serious look on his face.
“No.”
“Heartbreaker,” he said, smirking, as he moved onto the bed beside me. He propped up on one arm and kissed my head.
“Definitely not.” I laughed. It felt good. For a moment I felt light and happy. The heavy events that surround me were tucked away for now.
“Come on. You know I belong to a motorcycle club, right? She’s got to have a cool name or the other kids are going to make fun of her.” He fake pouted and I loved this side of him.
“And by that you mean, yourbrothersare going to make fun ofyou?” I countered. He grunted like he didn’t want to admit that I was right.
“Fate,” he said, his voice and face turning soft.
“Fate,” I agreed as he bent down and kissed my lips. It was sweet but possessive at the same time. It was perfectly him. He was strong yet soft. He could hold me up and cradle me at the same time. He could kill a man and still be able to open his heart to me.
“Fate Rose Monroe.”
“Why does she get your last name?” I said poking him in the side. In all truth, I wanted her to have his name. Mine meant nothing to me anymore. But I couldn’t help doing my best to get to him. I loved this playful side of him.
“Not mine, babe. Ours.” He winked at me.
“Huh?”
“Ours, as in yours and mine. I said you were mine, I fuckin’ mean that shit. You will be my wife soon.” He was smiling but his tone was dead set. There was no room for discussion. He wasn’t asking. And I really loved it. I wouldn’t have turned him down even if he did ask.
He snuggled into me, holding me close to his body, as we mindlessly watched reruns of old sitcoms on the TV. It felt freakishly normal. If this was what life would be like, I could get used to it.
