Page 52 of Diesel
“Paragons,” he chokes and spits up some blood before he attempts to speak again, “ain’t the only ones. Your not fucking special. He’s got more clubs he will take over. Eventually, the weak will die.”
His laugh rings out as I fire up the torch. It quickly turns into gargled screams. And I feel the numbness set in as the skin on his back begins to bubble and the putrid smell fills the room.
I stopped myself from thinking about how Ellie had walked in not long after that moment. This wasn’t the time to dwell on all of that. I repeated everything he’d told me to Cal. It wasn’t much, but at least we know there are other clubs out there in the same position we were in. I was sure we were thinking the same thing. We needed to find out which ones they were. Maybe if we banded together, we would become the stronger one. But that was his thing to take care of. I would just wait until he called for my help, and I would be there, right by his side. There was a dim light at the end of this fucking long tunnel.
I shifted gears after a few moments of silence. I knew he was thinking hard about everything I’d just told him.
“I need out,” I said not thinking of my choice of words. But it was true. I was feeling like a damn caged animal, clawing at these damn walls. I needed a ride. I needed to get away from everything to clear my head. “Just let me out for two hours.”
“You don’t think we’re all gettin’ sick of it in here? You think we ain’t all itchin’ to walk out those front doors and do whatever the fuck it is that is elsewhere?” He cocked an angry brow at me. “I got damn boys fightin’ every fuckin’ time I turn around. We’re all on edge and pissed off and got no outlet for it.”
“I know,” I said taking a minute to get my words together. “I’m not sayin’ my shit is worse than anyone else’s. I just… I’m too close toherright now.”
“You bring that into my club and then you just want to leave it?” His voice was full of tension, but I knew he didn’t really mean it. “Fine, you want out? Got a ride comin’ up. Was gonna take Tank and leave you here because of her, but now… I’ll tell Tank he’s stayin’ behind.” He waved a hand at me, shooing me away. I could see the slight smile as he shook his head.
“Thanks, prez,” I said as I stood up, knowing better than to ask how soon we’d be leaving.
“Figure it out quick. That girl needs answers, not more questions,” he said pinning me with his stare. “Be ready to go tomorrow afternoon.” I nodded and headed out.
Hesitating a moment outside of Cal’s office, I decided it was best to go back to my room. I was tired. Physically. Emotionally. And I knew tomorrow would be a fuck of a long day. Part of me wanted to go in search of Ellie, but the louder part of me still said I needed space. I knew that if I wasn’t sure, wasn’t ready to put it all on the line and claim her, that I had no sense in confusing her.
But as I flopped onto my bed I couldn’t get away from Ellie. Her fucking scent was everywhere, even overpowering the lingering bleach smell. I couldn’t say I hated it. In fact, it was the opposite. Lacing my fingers behind my head, I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. The longer I stayed in that bed, the more antsy I got. Thoughts turned in my brain, leading in all different directions. I was getting no closer to an answer. All I could think about was what Icouldhave in the future, but it was always clouded by the things thatcouldhappen. And the things that had happened.
The sun would be coming up soon, not that I could see it in the windowless compound. And I knew the only way I was going to get any rest was if I was wrapped around the one thing that permeated my thoughts.
With a heavy sigh, I rolled out of bed and stalked across the compound. I didn’t bother fucking knocking. I just stepped into her room silently and slid into the bed behind her. I felt her tense as I wrapped my arm around her waist. But it was only a second before she relaxed back into me as I nuzzled my face in her neck. Did this make me a giant asshole? Yes. Did I give any kind of fucks at that moment? No. Because it felt like home.
