Page 14 of Diesel
It became easier and I felt like I got the hang of the rhythm. We moved, his fingers digging into my hips as he pulled me down harder each time. I watched him. His eyes never opened and his face changed into something unfamiliar. He grunted and panted hard. It felt strange. Like I was there but at the same time, I wasn’t. Like I was watching it from another point of view.
I wasn’t even close when I felt him start to pulse inside of me. Then he lifted me up and threw me onto the bed next to him so quickly that my head was spinning. Before I knew it, he was kneeling over me and ripping the condom off. His hand moved ferociously around his hardness until he began to spill out all over my chest as he yelled out to the ceiling. Then he flopped back down on the bed, eyes still closed.
I was in such shock of what had happened. I wasn’t sure what to really expect, but the whole thing was so far from what I had imagined. I felt weird and dirty. I stayed there frozen and sticky, wondering if he was going to bring me something to clean myself off with. But then he was asleep, his loud snores filling the all too silent room.
I wanted to curl up and cry. I sucked in a sharp breath and got up. I sprinted to the bathroom and finally let out a long breath behind the closed door. I showered, staying under the water longer than necessary. Until the steam no longer surrounded me and the spray was so cold it felt like little needles stinging all over my body.
I got out and dressed in my sleep clothes. Then went downstairs to clean up the dinner that was never even touched. I knew it was expected of me to stay, so that is what I did. This was my place and I would have to learn to live with it.
Sleep never found me that night. When dawn broke and Steven left for work not long after, I let out a huge sigh of relief. I needed to talk to someone, but I didn’t really have anyone.
Mom, she is supposed to be there to guide me and give me advice, right?
I headed home with a million questions bouncing around my head.
