Page 52 of Loch
CHAPTER THIRTY
Reagan
Three weeks had gone by. I hated staying in that house. I hated walking down the stairs every time I needed to leave my room. I could still feel Lance everywhere. Every time I looked somewhere, his face was there lurking in the shadows. His haunting eyes were taunting me. His sick smirk was sending a shiver down my spine. His sticky, hot breath on my skin.
I took a shower, trying to wash it all away. Like every other day, I scrubbed myself raw, until my skin was red and splotchy and I felt a slight sting. I wanted to feel something. I wanted to forget it all.
I got out of the shower, the steam filled the room. The low hum of the fan wasn’t enough noise to keep my thoughts at bay. I wrapped the white towel around my body and tucked the end in so it would stay up. My hair left small puddles on the floor as I moved methodically around the bathroom. My body felt drained. My mind was exhausted.
I wiped the fog off the mirror with my hand. I stared through the girl looking back at me. Tears began to well in my eyes and a fury came bubbling up from my toes. A loud howl ripped from deep inside of me as my fist collided with the mirror. It cracked, lines spreading out from the middle. I hit it again. And again. I wasn’t sure how many times my hand made contact. My towel came loose and fell to the floor at some point, but I didn’t care. Blood ran down my arm but I kept going, trying to kill the damaged girl in front of me. Finally, my trembling knees gave way and I dropped to the floor, angry tears spilling from my eyes. I gripped the edge of the counter, shards of the mirror bit into the palm of my hand. I didn’t feel anything. Sobs ripped from my chest as I held onto the edge with everything I had left in me. I felt nothing except numb. Hollow. Alone.
“Rea— Fuck!!!” Brand’s voice broke through my sobs.
Before I knew it, he was down on the floor next to me, pulling me into his body and wrapping his arms around me. I was a limp pile of limbs sagging against him. But it felt good. He felt warm and comforting. Familiar and safe. I didn’t care that I was naked in front of him. I just wanted to be held and touched by someone that didn’t feel threatening. My cries slowed as he ran his fingers smoothed over my wet hair. My blood dripped and smeared all over his faded jeans. I took in a calming breath and he held me for a few more long moments.
“Hey. Look at me.” His tone was soft as he held my cheeks in his palms and tilted my face up.
There was something behind his eyes, dancing just on the edge like he was trying to hide it from me. He reached up and pulled another towel down from the bar. Then he wrapped it around my body before holding the now red stained one around my damaged hand.
I sat there, staring a hole into the wall, as he rummaged around trying to find what he needed to clean me up. He sat back down. His touch was so gentle as he cleaned me off then bandaged me up. Then he lifted me up and carried me into my room before placing me down on the bed. A long, distressed sigh escaped his lips as he pulled out clothes and tried to dress me. He was being so tender and careful. It was if he was expecting me to break. But I was already broken. There wasn’t any more damage for him to do. Not that Brand ever would. He had been nothing but there for me from day one, even if it was under orders from Nate. I always got the feeling like he didn’t mind. I considered him a true friend, and one of my closest.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I looked up at him as my eyes tried to focus.
“Nothing to be sorry about, Reagan.” He lifted me up again. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me down the stairs and out the door. “I’m getting you out of here.”
He put me in the passenger’s seat of my car then ran back inside to grab my keys. He backed the car out of the driveway, maneuvering it with ease around his bike. For a second I wondered where he was taking me, but my mind was too thick with fog to focus on one thing for very long. A few minutes later we were parked on the street outside of a cute two-story craftsman style house. The front porch was huge and had a wooden swing on one side. The front door opened and Chris stepped outside.
“Come on,” Brand said after he opened my door. I took his hand and we both met Chris on the front porch. No words were exchanged as we all shuffled inside. Brand pulled me to the left into an open living room area with two couches. “Sit. I’ll be back in a bit.” He walked back outside and Chris followed him. I heard their faint, muffled voices but couldn’t make out what they were saying. After a couple of minutes, Chris walked back inside alone and flopped down on the couch beside me.
“You want to tell me what happened?” he asked, his voice full of concern. I didn’t sense a hint of judgment.
“No,” I replied. Maybe one day I would talk but it was not that day.
“You want to live with me for a while?” He brushed off my distance like it was no big deal and changed the subject.
“Can I?” I sounded like a hopeful dejected child. He pulled me into his chest and hugged me.
“Hell yes,” he said in a soft but excited tone. I smiled into his chest thankful that I had such amazing people in my life.
He gave me the grand tour of his place. It was a cute little house. The kitchen was small but updated. The living room was spacious and had a definite masculine feel to it. Huge TV mounted to the wall over the fireplace. Two leather couches faced each other separated by a huge oak coffee table. The walls were a deep blue with clean white trim. There was a bathroom and a bedroom on the bottom level. He told me that would be my room. It was simple and looked like it was already made up to be a guest room. A tall dresser sat in one corner. Two bedside tables sat on either side of a queen bed. The bedspread was deep green with lighter sage leaves that matched the paint on the walls. Then he took me upstairs to show me his huge room with en suite bathroom. The room was decorated with purple and blue. It had a very Chris feel to it.
He explained to me that his grandparents’ had this house, and two others that were similar in style, built. They wanted them for when their children. The idea was that when they started their own families they would have a place to live. He said that his grandparents wanted to keep the family close and help them out in any way they could. After his grandpa fell ill, his grandma had to sell two of the homes. Chris mentioned that he was pretty sure that Ethel actually owned one of them now and rented it out. I hadn’t heard anything about it so I only shrugged.
When we got back downstairs, Brand was pulling up in my car. He got out carrying a large duffel bag and a box that I knew was full of my things. Chris showed him where to put everything when he got into the house. Then we all sat in the living room and chatted for a while.
Eventually, Chris had to go to work and Brand got Chris to give him a ride to his bike. Not long after that Brand was back on the couch and we were watching TV together. A few hours later, I grew tired and told him I was going to bed. He nodded and gave me a small smile. I got up and headed for my new room but he didn’t move.
“You’re staying?” I asked, hope dripping from my voice.
“Yep.” He flashed me a wider smile and settled into the couch with his arms crossed over his chest.
I shouldn’t have been surprised. As I made my way to my room I let out a relieved breath. It had been one hell of a day. I realized how lucky I was. I didn’t want to continue down into a dark hole. I was surrounded by people that cared and love me. I was going to focus on the good and move on with life. Yeah, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Loch
Staying at the clubhouse nearly every night was starting to wear on me. I like my quiet. And while I loved my brothers, I was at the point where I could’ve used a break from it all. We all were on edge and stressed out. I was almost convinced that being around each other was doing more harm than good. But the truth of it was that we all needed to be together at that time. We needed the support or one another.
