Page 48 of Loch
The doctor went on about what had happened to me and what was wrong with me. Apparently, I had a tube down my throat at one point. But it was removed the day before because the swelling had gone down. My mind drifted not wanting to hear it. I knew it was bad. I could feel what was wrong with my body all over. I had fucking lived through it. I should have been grateful for the fact that I had done just that. Lived. But right then I couldn’t seem to think of anything else but what had been done to me. More than anything I wanted to be back in Nate’s bed and wrapped in his strong, warm arms. But he wasn’t even here to hold my hand.
“We’ll monitor you another day. If everything goes as well as it has been, you should be good to go home tomorrow.” I tuned back in as she was finishing. “I’m going to check a few things before I go and then I’ll be back to see you in a little bit.”
“I’m going to step out and make a call.” I cut my eyes over to Nan who was trying her best to slink out of the door. I knew what she was up to without a doubt. And I was pissed.
“Don’t!” I barked, it hurt like hell, and her face held a shocked expression. “If he wanted to know I was awake, he would be here.” I turned my head away from her as the tears began to spill out, again.
The doctor looked down at me with a strange look. Almost like she knew something I didn’t. Did I know her? There was no way I could have. I didn’t have any memory loss and I had never seen her before. Before I could ask her, she turned her attention to the tablet in her hands. After another minute she headed out the door without a word.
Nan sat down and flipped through the channels on the TV. We sat in silence for a long time. The things she wanted to say were probably not things I wanted to hear. The things I was thinking of were things I didn’t want to talk about. So the silence was for the best.
A while later, I asked Nan if she had my phone. She fished through her giant bag of a purse and found it. She told me that Brand found it and made sure it was charged for me when I woke up. I wanted to ask her if he had been here and if he had seen me. I wondered if he was here how long he stayed by my side. A tinge of guilt hit me that I didn’t think of him or Bocca right away. Or Chris. Any of the other guys, really. I powered on my phone and waited. A bunch of new text messages popped up from a few different people. I scrolled through and the one person I wanted to see hadn’t sent one. I sighed.
Brand had sent a bunch. Most of them telling me to get better already. It made me smile for a brief second. Chris had sent me a few and his sounded worried. Bocca and even Diesel had sent a couple. Although, I could tell they were a little weird and awkward, it was the thought that counted.
I decided to send Brand a text letting him know that Sleeping Beauty was awake. I knew I was a far cry from looking like a beautiful princess, but that was the point. I knew he would get it. There was no reply and I figured he was busy with club stuff. I also sent one to Chris saying that I was doing fine, though it was far from the truth. He said he couldn’t wait to see me again and that he missed his buddy. I had never had people that cared about me so much before, and now I had more than I knew what to do with.
Nan settled on reruns ofBig Bang Theory.I zoned out and tried my best to give into the laughter. Two shows later there was a soft knock at the door. I turned my attention that way as it swung open. Brand stepped in carrying a stupid yellow duck balloon. He wore a huge smile on his face like I’d never seen on him before; dimples and all. It was infectious and I couldn’t help but smile back at him. He handed a plastic bag to Nan and the smell of meat and grease filled the room. My mouth watered and I was worried I might be drooling.
“A duck, huh?” I did my best to raise a brow at him. I think my face was still too swollen to get the effect I was going for. He huffed out a nervous laugh and shrugged as his face turned sheepish.
“The get well ones were boring,” he said. “And they had flowers and shit on them. I didn’t want it to take away from my manly look.” I rolled my eyes at him. He tied the balloon to the bathroom doorknob. It was directly in my line of vision. I wasn’t sure if I would love or hate that it would be the first thing I saw every time I opened my eyes. Then he pulled out a container from the bag that Nan had set on the rolling table.
“Are you seriously going to eat that goodness right in front of me?” I asked as he popped the lid open.
“Yeah. I got you a salad, though.” I wanted to smack him but I knew it would hurt me more than it would him.
“I’m going to go get some air,” Nan said as she stood. “Sit.” She said to Brand. Instead of sitting he grabbed the bag, which had another container of food in it, and handed it to her. She smiled at him and said thank you.
“Couldn’t forget about you, Misses E.” He winked at her and I swear she blushed at him. I did my best to laugh and shook my head as she made her retreat out the door. He sat slowly lowered himself down on the edge of the bed. “I used my charming ways to get the cute girl at the counter to cut it up for me.”
He lifted a bitesize piece of burger up to show me. I could just picture how it went down. Him giving her his pretty boy smile. His head tilted down and his big eyes looking up through his long and thick lashes at her. I imagined she had to resist the urge to fan herself and couldn’t even form words to his request.
I took the burger with my fingers and popped it into my mouth. Everything hurt so much that I was half tempted to let him feed me. But I wanted to be a big girl and do it on my own. It wasn’t going to get any easier. He situated the food on my lap for easy access for me.
I studied him while I chewed. Even though he was smiling and talking, I could see he was tired. I wondered if he had even gotten any sleep while I was out. His face had a dusting of stubble. At least he didn’t smell bad, unlike me. We chatted about nothing important as I ate. There was too much food for me to eat and I made him finish it. After we were done, he cleaned up the trash.
“So when are they springing ya?” he asked, wiping his hands on his pants.
“Tomorrow, if all goes well.”
“Alright. I’ll be back then.” He leaned over and his lips brushed my forehead in a sweet kiss. “Get some rest. Call me if you need me.” I nodded.
He waved then headed out the door. Part of me wished he had stayed longer, but I could feel my eyes growing heavy. I barely heard Nan come back in the room before I dozed back off.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Loch
I fell back onto the rickety wooden stool as I wiped the blood off of my face with the back of my hand. I stared at Lance’s nearly lifeless form dangling by his hands from the rafters. The basement was dark, save for the one bare bulb dangling from the ceiling. His head sagged against his chest. His skin was pale and splattered with his own blood. If I didn’t see the slight rise and fall of his chest I would have sworn he was dead.
I had been down there for nearly two days straight. The first day, I decided to leave him be. I let him hang there in the pitch black basement, thinking about how it would end for him. I wanted to suffer in his head before I started the real torture. It was hard to know he was a floor under me. That he was still breathing. But I needed to drag the whole thing out as long as possible. Plus, I needed the time to find my calm.
I’d left Reagan in the early hours of morning still unconscious lying in the hospital bed. That was almost three days ago. I hadn’t been back. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to see the disappointment and hurt in her eyes. The last thing she needed was to wake up and see me, the man who let her down and let this happen to her, staring back at her.
Maybe I was a coward. But I only wanted to do what was best for her. The whole reason I had been down here that long was that I felt Lance deserved a slow and torturous end. I was drawing his death out because I was pissed off. But above everything else, I was doing it for her. He would meet his end soon, and she wouldn’t have to worry that anything like this would happen to her ever again. I knew things weren’t that simple. I knew killing Lance wouldn’t be the magic cure-all to recovery. I had a good idea that she was going to be looking over her shoulder and jumping at every odd sound for a while. But I needed some hope, and that was what his death would be for me. Hope that the world would be a better place for her.
The sound of heavy boots coming down the concrete stairs caught my attention. Pulling myself out of the dark thoughts in my head, I looked over to see which one of my brothers dared to bother me. Brand walked into view as he hit the last step. He looked as tired as I felt. But this wasn’t over yet. His eyes flickered to Lance’s hanging body and turned dark as coal. His jaw ticked as he walked over. Stopping a few feet off to the side, he planted his feet wide as he crossed his arms over his chest.
