Page 47 of Loch
Bocca’s eyes closed as he took in a slow breath. I knew he had seen her and I knew he was feeling as torn up as I was. Reagan didn’t deserve any of what happened to her. She may have carried a heavy burden of a hard past. But she was still the fucking warm sunshine that made us all light up inside.
“I’m goin’ back to the clubhouse. Ethel is here. Leave Lake with her and have him call if anythin’ changes.” I barked. I knew Bocca would understand that I was only taking my anger and pain out on him. And that I didn’t mean anything by my harsh tone. “We are headin’ back. Time to deal with this.”
I turned around and walked off. Bocca caught up with me and told me where they had parked Reagan’s car. It was a good thing he did because I was so blinded by rage I wasn’t even thinking. I probably would have been walking around the rest of the night just trying to remember what the hell I was even looking for.
I slid into the driver’s seat. I could smell the blood and my glance shifted over to the spot where I had shot Lance. Then my mind flashed with a crumbled Reagan in the front seat as I flung open the door. I saw the blood smeared on the steering wheel. Tears spilled from my eyes. Since I was alone, I took a moment to break down. I closed my eyes and let everything I’d been holding in come rushing to the surface.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Reagan
I started to drift out of the fizzy darkness. I heard beeping as the weird sterile smell hit my nose. I tried to open my eyes but it felt like my eyelids were glued together. Everything hurt. My face and head throbbed. There was a sharp pain in my shoulder and side. I tried to swallow and my throat felt raw and scratchy.
Everything came rushing back to me. What had happened to me. Lance. The violent beating and what he had done to me. But I couldn’t remember leaving the house. I thought for sure I was dead.
Tears escaped out of the eyes I couldn’t even open yet. I felt them leave hot trails down my face towards my ears. More fell as the flashbacks popped up into my mind. Playing over and over again like the worst kind of nightmare.
But it wasn’t a nightmare, it was my reality.
“Reagan, oh dear.” Nan’s voice sliced through the darkness. I felt her warm fingers on my hand and I willed my eyes to open. “Can you squeeze my hand? If you’re awake just squeeze.”
I tried to move my fingers. Finally, I felt my pinky twitch as the fog in my brain lifted a little bit more.
“Let me get the doctor. Hang on, Reagan.” My ears strained to hear what was going on.
I tried again to open my eyes. I didn’t hear anyone else. Where was Nate? Was he the one that brought me here? How long had I been out? What happened to Lance?
“Nate.” His name fell from my raw throat in a harsh whisper, leaving it burning like I had swallowed broken glass.
My eyes cracked open and the bright lights spilled in through the slits making my head throb harder. I swallowed again and tried to adjust to the light. I saw Nan’s blurry figure standing beside me. My eyes fell closed again.
“Dark,” I whispered and a few seconds later the world outside of my lids dimmed.
I looked up at Nan. A nurse came in and went around the other side of the bed, fiddling with what the hell ever was over there. Nan grabbed my hand again and gave it a light squeeze. Everything felt heavy and I wondered if I was sinking into the bed. I wanted the bed to open up and swallow me whole. I wanted the darkness back and I wanted the memories to be gone. But I knew that wasn’t going to happen. This would forever scar me and I hated it.
“Miss Turner, I’m your nurse for the day. My name is Tracy. Do you know where you are?” nurse Perky Pants asked. I shouldn’t be mad at her, but her happy voice was grating on my ears.
“Hell,” I replied. If my mouth hadn’t been so dry it would have come out a lot more abrasive.
“Not quite,” she said without missing a beat. I could feel her fucking smile through the choking air in the room. “You’re in—”
“A fucking hospital.” I cut her off. If I were her I would probably want to slap me. But I imagined she was used to dealing with cranky patients.
“That’s right,” she said excitedly and I waited for her to give me a cookie for my job well done. “You’ve been out for quite some time. I’ll let Dr. Anders know you are awake. She’ll be in shortly. Can I get you anything before I go?”
“Water,” I said gruffly. “Please,” I added, feeling bad that I was being a bitch. It wasn’t her fault any of this had happened to me. She gave me a bright smile and moments later came back with a small Styrofoam cup of cold water with a straw in it.
Nan helped me sit up a little more and held the cup out for me to take a sip. The water burned as it went down my throat but the coolness of it felt good. Once I was done, Nan set the cup aside and attempted to fluff my pillows. My head fell back and I struggled to let out a long breath, which sent me into a coughing fit. Which then made my body feel like it was being stabbed with sharp knives all over.
“Where is he?” I asked looking over at Nan.
The fact that Nate wasn’t there when I woke was a huge disappointment. Not that I wasn’t grateful to see Nan’s old, spunky face. Her eyes turned sad. As Nan opened her mouth to say something the door opened and in walked a tall, blonde haired woman much older than me. She was wearing a long white coat and holding a tablet. Her eyes met mine and a sweet smile graced her face.
“Good morning, Reagan,” she said and it wasn’t lost on me how she called me by my first name, like we were old friends.
“How long have I been out?” I asked before she could go into whatever doctor’s speech she had to give me. The cheeriness of her face dropped for half of a second. She blinked and the smile returned to her face, though, not as big as it had been.
“Three days. It’s not uncommon for someone whose body has been through what yours has.” She moved closer to me. I clenched my jaw and it hurt like a motherfucker.
