Page 36 of Loch
“Not when it’s you, no,” he said breaking the kiss. “I always want to be buried deep inside of you. And you know how long it’s been since the last time. Guess we should make up for that.” I kissed his neck, loving the feeling of the scruff from his jaw rubbing against my cheek.
“I know I’m not your only option.” I was pushing it, but curiosity could be a nagging bitch. He cupped my face and forced me to look him in the eyes.
“Ever since I fuckin’ saw you that first day, you have been my only option.” No falter in his tone. Not a trace of deceit in his eyes. He was telling those words to my soul. My insides gushed with warmth and I had to hold back a smile. I was about to break down. I was about to tell him everything. How I felt. How I constantly was thinking of him. How I wanted nothing more than to spend every moment in his strong and warm arms. How I loved him like I’d never loved anyone before.
Instead of saying anything, I slowly sank down on him. He let out a harsh breath when I was fully seated. I decided I was going to give it to him hard and fast. Our gaze never broke as I rode him with everything I had left in me. I felt my climax building up in no time. He throbbed inside of me and I could tell he was close. He grabbed my hips and met my thrusts harder and faster. I tightened around him, screaming out his name and clawing at his chest. Seconds later he filled me again, my name spilling from his lips in a guttural roar.
He pulled the covers back before rolling us to the side. Once we were settled, with my nose nuzzled in his neck, he pulled the sheet over us then held his arms tight around me. Not long after that, his breathing became even. I slid out of his embrace, his fingers twitched as if he was trying to hold onto me. I dressed silently, then made my way back to Nan’s. I felt bad about leaving. I wanted to stay there until the next day greeted us, but I knew this was for the best. I sighed as I settled into my bed. My body wonderfully sore all over. I soon drifted off to sleep. My last thoughts were of Nate.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Loch
Bocca was hitting walls everywhere. He couldn’t find anything else on Lance or Reagan’s roommate. Things with the club took priority and he was doing all he could to find out who was behind the attack.
The Dogs of Wrath were still nowhere to be found. Things were tense among the brothers. All the chapters were staying put in their home towns. The guns we had were locked up tight in the model home basement. It was the safest place we had that wasn’t tied to the club. No one would suspect that they were there. And it wasn’t like anyone was actually going to look at that place. Most who were going to buy a house on the rich side of town knew what they wanted. Having a town full of locals had its perks. Besides, if it did need to be shown we would get a heads up. So, for now, things were safe. But the club wasn’t and we didn’t know how long it would go on. We needed some kind of insight as to what was happening. We needed to know who we were up against.
With the Dogs down there would be no more runs for a while. We were feeling the heat from the MCs that we dealt with throughout the country. As far as we were concerned, we were shut down for the time being. The safest place for us all was close to shelter. And that was the clubhouse. We still weren’t on a lockdown, but most of us chose to stay around the clubhouse when we weren’t working. We all had rooms there. They were small, but we’d manage. The ones with old ladies stayed at home watching over their families. That was their right. Until a permanent lockdown was in place, families stayed put.
We kept the bar going. Reagan and Chris continued to run things. I dropped by every now and then. I used the excuse of needed to do office shit, but the truth was that I just wanted to see Reagan. I wanted to breathe in her smell and touch her soft skin. I was pretty sure I wasn’t as sly as I hoped to be, but she never let on that she was aware of it. Sometimes the air was so charged around us that I almost dragged her back to the office like a damn cave man. I craved to be near her and more so, to be inside her.
Things with her seemed simple from the outside. We would come together when the need became too much. Then we would go our separate ways. Well, the reality of it was, I would stay and she would sneak off. But if you looked at it from the outside, I guess you could have said that I let her go.
I made my way out to the kitchen. The club girls had been doing a good job of keeping us fed and the place cleaned. There were fresh eggs, bacon, and biscuits. The smell of it made my mouth water. I filled up a plate and sat down at one of the long tables. I was up early and most everyone was still sleeping. The place was dead quiet outside my door when I cracked my eyes open half an hour ago.
As I was shoveling eggs into my mouth, the side door off the kitchen opened. In walked a very tired looking Jessica. She gave me a friendly nod before going and making herself a plate. Sitting down across from me, she took a long sip of her coffee.
“You and Axe off again?” I asked not giving a shit about beating around the bush. I liked to stay on top of things that were going on with the club. Even down to what was going on with the girls.
The thing with Jessica and Axe was always up and down, but it never brought drama. So we let it be. Sure some of the guys got a little pissy when there was one less girl to pass around. But they knew well enough that in a few weeks she would be free again. She was the best of them, and I didn’t even blame Axe for laying his keep on her every now and then. I think both of them wanted it to work, but deep down both of them knew it would never last. She was one of the good ones. She didn’t keep in with the rest of the mean girls, as I saw them. She kept her business private and she knew her place. On top of that, she kept things going around the compound. She was the queen bee among the club girls and she knew how to keep them in line for the most part. I had no doubt that someday one of these fuckers would wise up and make her an old lady. And she would be an amazing one. But for now, she seemed happy just being a part of the club.
“Yeah,” she replied with a nonchalant shrug. I breathed a little sigh of relief. Sure she was good at keeping it cool, but with women, sometimes you never knew what would set them off. “Why? Is there something I can help you out with?” And just like that, she was back to it. I cracked a small smile.
“I’m good, darlin’.” It wasn’t lost on me that I had no interest. She was the number one in my book among the club girls, but nothing inside me sparked at all. I knew it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with Reagan.
“Ahhh, so the rumors are true.” She gave me a soft smile. Her feelings weren’t hurt and she seemed genuinely happy for me. I was glad, the last thing I would want to do was to make her feel unwanted in any way. By her tone, I could tell she wasn’t trying to be a gossip queen.
“Have no idea what’s floatin’ around the rumor mill, so I can’t tell you if it’s true or not.” She narrowed her eyes at me letting me know she wasn’t stupid. I let out a short laugh.
“This girl, she make you think about things beyond this club?”
Her question made me pause. I wasn’t sure how to answer. I had spent too much time trying not to figure out how I felt about Reagan. Trying not to want for more than I thought she wanted to give.
Truth was, I did want more. I wanted Reagan to be by my side. And I’d found myself wondering how it would be to have something other than the club in my life. Not saying I wanted to give up the MC all together, just have something more. I knew if I opened my mouth it would unlock a box I wasn’t ready to open.
“Loch, I’ve been around you long enough to know you. If she’s got you turning down your girl of choice then she’s got you by the heart… or balls rather.” She raised a brow at me in a playful manner.
I let out a laugh. Maybe it was true. I was glad Jessica kept this conversation light with such a heavy subject. She said her piece and was going to leave me to ponder shit. She was well aware of the fucking hurricane she’d just unleashed in my head, but she wasn’t going to help me figure it out.
We ate our food in silence. I found myself thinking about just how great Jessica was. I definitely didn’t feel the way about her as I did about Reagan. At the same time, Jessica knew how club life was. She knew the ins and outs of how things went. She knew not to ask questions and to do as she was told. She knew when to be there and when to back off. I wished things would work out for her. Maybe with Axe, but I knew they were too much of the same person to ever last. Hell, they had given it more than enough chances to work.
I could tell she was as lost in thoughts as much as I was. I struggled to think of something to say to her. I wasn’t good with women and emotional shit. I blamed it on the fact that I’d never really taken the time to learn the language of that stuff. After my parents died, part of me died too. A big part. I closed off my emotions and didn’t look back. I was a good listener, and I guessed the best thing I could do was to ask.
“You okay?” I croaked out feeling a tad bit nervous. She blinked as if I had brought her back to reality. A smile spread across her face but it didn’t reach her eyes. I knew then whatever it was she was going to keep that shit to herself.
“Yeah. Still waking up, I guess.”
“You know if you ever need anything we’re here for you?” My tone was stern, I meant that shit. She had been there for the club in more way than I could count over the years. One thing we held high on the list was that we took care of our own. And in my book, that included making sure making sure she was okay.
