Page 23 of Loch
“She is going to be the death of me.” I clenched my jaw and Brandon chuckled into his beer beside me.
“I’ll get Chris to take her home. I know she won’t let you take her,” he said.
“Thanks.” I tipped my bottle at him. “I’m leaving soon. Can’t take this. She probably won’t talk to me ‘til I get her damn car back to her.” Or longer, I thought. I had a feeling that woman could stay pissed at someone for a lifetime if she wanted to.
I took my beer and walked away from the bar. Sitting there was getting me nowhere. I finished my beer, said my goodbyes, and then headed out.
Nearly a week went by before her car was done. She didn’t say more than two words to me at a once the whole time. It was torture. I hated to hear her laugh and talk as an outsider. I hated that she hadn’t once touched me. And I hated that she got to me as much as she did. Granted, I didn’t make any attempt to reach out either. I wanted to let her be the one to come to me. Maybe I should have stepped up and apologized, but I wanted it to be perfect. Words weren’t enough. Add on the fact that I could never think of the right thing to say. And believe me, I fucking tried.
Finally, her car was done. I had the boys clean it up, inside and out. And then I drove it over to Ethel’s place.
I knew she would be leaving for her shift right after I dropped it off. I left the keys inside and made sure the doors were unlocked. Then, I walked over to my place. I got the extra key to the car I bought her from inside my house and moved the damn thing into my garage. Like the whole thing never happened. I chuckled to myself at the thought of her thinking she was in some weirdTwilight Zone. Part of me wanted to stand there and watch it all go down, but I decided it was best to give her the space she needed. Maybe, if I wasn’t there she would relax into the idea of not completely hating me.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Reagan
A week passed. A fucking week. That damn new car sat, unmoved, in Nan’s driveway. The more I looked at it, the more I wanted to crack. At the end of the day, Nate had done something nice and I was being a brat about it. But I was also stubborn, and I wouldn’t be the first to back down. I guessed he was the same, seeing as he never said he was sorry or even acknowledged that he was in the wrong. So, for a week, we avoided words with each other. It was hard trying to ignore him when all I wanted was to touch him, and I wondered if it was for him as well. I kept telling myself that he didn’t care. That he wasn’t spilling any tears over me. And I was stupid to think that I meant something to him.
Friday night was dead at the bar. Like ghost town dead. Not even Nate came by. Thank God I had Chris to keep me company. I wondered what was going on. Chris had no clue and told me there was more than likely a club gathering of some sorts. I was a little miffed that I didn’t know about it. I was also a little disappointed that I didn’t get to go. Sure, I wasn’tinthe club, but sometimes they let outsiders in at special times, right? I knew a lot of the guys by now. And I thought that a few of them were my friends, or close to. Brand and I were definitely on a friendly level. Bocca, too. Even through all the harmless flirting, I felt like he genuinely liked talking to me.
I tried my best to shrug it off, but it only ended up being another candle on the I’m-pissed-at-Nate cake. Chris tried his hardest to get me to talk about Nate a few times. But I was quick to shut it down, saying that there was nothing to talk about. I could tell he didn’t believe me, but he let it drop.
Saturday night it was packed. I swear all the bikers were there. In the middle of slinging beers, I saw Brand walk in. His head held a little higher than normal and had a smile on his face. Man, his face just lit up when he smiled. And those dimples, it was the most adorable thing I’d seen. He saw me and I flashed him my pearly whites, followed by a questioning brow. He came and sat in front of me. That’s when I noticed his prospect patch was gone and in its place a brighter, whiter patch with his name.Brand.The name I’d started calling him. The very one that I gave to him. Well, sort of. I was going to take the credit for it. I smiled wider.
Without thinking, I leaned over the bar and threw my arms around his neck. He, in turn, wrapped his arms around me and hugged me as tight as he could with the wide bar between us. There wasn’t anything to it, a simple happy, friendly hug of excitement. My eyes found Nate over Brand’s shoulder. His jaw was ticking and after a stare down that lasted a few long seconds, he turned away from me. I pulled back then grabbed Brand a beer.
“Congrats! This one is on me,” I said with a wink winked. He shot me a look that let me know I was dumb. I knew they didn’t pay for the beers. “Humor me, okay?” I rolled my eyes.
“Thanks, Reagan.” He took a long swig.
“So was this why I was so lonely last night?” I asked. He huffed out a laugh.
“Hey!” Chris said beside me. “I was here. Gee thanks. Can’t say I blame her, though. You are—”
“Not in this life, Chris.” Brand said cutting him off with a playful chuckle in his tone. I raised an eyebrow. I was missing something. I didn’t get the gay vibe off of Chris, and I swore I’d heard him talk about girls before. “I love you, man. Just not that much.”
“Wait…” I turned around and gave Chris a questioning look. He smiled then turned around and walked away from me. I turned back to Brand. “Is he?” Brand shrugged and stood up.
“Thanks for the love and the beer.” He smiled then blended into the crowd, leaving my head all confused.
I watched Chris for a little while. His interactions with the guys didn’t set anything off. Normal bro stuff. I was more curious than anything. It wouldn’t have changed the way I felt about him. I was only a bit surprised by it if anything. I seriously had no idea and I wasn’t getting any clues watching him. I shrugged it off as Nate came up to the bar. Taking a deep breath, I walked over and looked at him. Being that close to him made my head swim. His scent was swirling all around me and all I wanted to do was bury my face in his chest. Or neck. Or his…
I shook my head pulling myself out of the dirty thoughts that were making me wet.
“Reagan,” he said in a curt tone.
“Loch,” I replied back.
I hadn’t called him Nate in a few days. It was a way for me to put distance between us and let him know I was still pissed. His jaw ticked and his lips were in a slight frown. I handed him another beer and that was the end of that. That was how it had been. It was frustrating. And with each day that it went on, I felt like I was going to crack. I was finding it harder to stay mad at him. Especially when he was standing two feet in front of me, looking sexy as hell. I couldn’t make up my mind on what I wanted to do more, slap him or fuck him.
I had Sunday and Monday off. I didn’t see Nate once those two days. It was exactly what I needed to rebuild my walls. I had been in town a few weeks. I started to feel safer. I figured if Lance was going to come after me it would have happened by then. The nightmares were still happening almost every night. I wondered if I was ever going to escape them. If life would ever return to normal. Well, as normal as my life had been. I was eating, at least I wasn’t wasting away anymore.
But sleep was still lost to me. Every time I closed my eyes I saw it. I felt his hands on me, choking me. The image of Liz’s body hanging off of her bed over his shoulder. I couldn’t shake it. I even tried taking over the counter sleeping pills. The only thing they did was make the images more vivid and put me in such a deep state that I couldn’t wake up and escape them.
Everything about that night was still ingrained into my head like it had just happened. I walked into the apartment. Everything seemed normal. Nothing looked out of place. I was ready to go out and have a good night. I was ready to drink my birthday away with pretty much my only friend. I all but skipped into the apartment and down the hall. Liz’s door was open and everything came slowly into view the closer I got.
Lance’s big body covered Liz’s, her head and arm dangling lifelessly off the side of the bed. His hands were around her neck as his body pinned her down. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused. I thought she was dead, but her eyes blinked once. It was such a slow blink that I wondered if it was her last. I was standing three feet in front of her, but I didn’t think she was even aware I was there. A gasp escaped me before I could stop it, alerting Lance that I was there. He lifted his head and the smile that came across his face sent shivers down my spine.
