Page 43 of Witch Upon a Star
I wondered what Starbucks saw and felt. His experience would be far different than mine, especially since I assumed this was his first time.
A light giggle escaped me as the tepid water from my shower flowed over me.
Lips touched my temple. “What has you laughing, my Winnie?”
I blinked, realizing that Starbucks was also in the shower with me. That explained how I’d gotten from the sweat lodge to my house. I didn’t recall him dressing me and undressing me again, so I had to wonder if he’d walked us inside naked. Which also made me wonder where my parents were. Myfamily might be more open when it came to sex, but we weren’tthattype of family.
His inquiring eyes reminded me that he’d asked me a question. “Just that we were both virgins in there. Me, when it came to sex, and you, since it was your first time in a sweat lodge.”
“Huh. You’re not wrong,” he chuckled. I felt him reach for my loofa. “I haven’t been a virgin in a long time.”
“How’re you feeling?”
He poured my body wash onto the sponge. “That was…” He paused, frothing up the suds. I let him find his own words to describe his experience. “Intense,” he finally settled on. “I’ve been in saunas before, but never felt likethat.”
“They’re very different practices,” I told him. “I’m not surprised that you had a different experience.”
“I didn’t…” Starbucks cleared his throat. He was still kneading the sponge, though it was plenty soapy. “I didn’t push myself on you, did I? There wasn’t anything in there that would dampen your inhibitions or make you susceptible to influence, right?”
Feeling steadier on my feet, I took the sponge from his hands. As blunt as he was, I realized that he was nervous. Maybe even a little scared. For a man like him, a Marine and a protector, that must shake him.
“People experience different things in sweat lodges. Some see the future while others see the past. Some commune with the dead while others talk with their spirit guides.” I started to drag the sponge across his broad, muscular chest. “The one thing it’s not is drug-induced. It hones our senses, makes desires more real.”
Starbucks lifted a hand to stop me from continuing towash him. “I loved what we did, and it was the most passionate, mind-blowing experience of my life. But I still need to hear you say it, Calliope. Not just how others experience the sweat lodges. I need to hear that you wanted to have sex with me today, that I didn’t push myself on you. You asked for a kiss, not to lose your virginity.”
“You didn’t,” I assured him, holding his gaze. “I swear.”
“And I didn’t hurt you?”
I shook my head. “I’m sore,” I said honestly, “but not in pain.”
He took the sponge from my hand. He placed my hand on his shoulder and started rubbing the sponge up and down my arm. “I should have drawn you a bath. I wasn’t thinking.”
“I’mfine,” I pressed again. “I’m not some meek damsel who is afraid to tell you what I do and do not want, Starbucks. Don’t mistake my virginity for timidness.”
His dark eyes did light up then. “Never. It’s one of the things I admire most about you.”
I lifted my other arm so he could start washing that one too. “Do you want to talk about what you saw?”
Starbucks thought about it for a moment. “It’s more of what I heard, I think. I mean, I’m pretty sure the ladybug and the scorpion weren’t real.”
“They were your spirit animals. Did you see any others?”
“A bear.”
I nodded. At his finger directive, I turned my back to him. I moved my hair out of his way as he started to wash down my spine. “A bear symbolizes a protector. I’m not surprised you saw it.”
“I thought it was protecting something. What about the scorpion?”
Like the cards, interpretation and intentions could affect one’s spirit animals. “What did you feel when you saw it? Were you afraid?”
With my back to him, I couldn’t see his expression. “No. I felt uplifted when I saw it. I think.”
I bit my lips to hide my smile. It wasn’t like him to be so unsure, and I found it a bit adorable. “Scorpions can mean many things, but in your case, I think it means a new beginning. Letting go of the past, of what’s holding you down, and starting anew. It can also mean you’re getting ready to unleash a new potential.”
His ministrations stopped for barely a second before he continued. He got lower and lower, until he dropped to his knees behind me to wash my butt and legs. “And the ladybug?”
“Ladybugs symbolize protection too, but also good luck. They can mean a change is coming, or that you have a fear of change. Mostly they’re seen as a very good omen.”
