Page 24 of Witch Upon a Star
He called me ‘Winnie’. My heart hammered in my chest. I couldn’t believe it, and so soon after our meeting. Was this when it started? But it couldn’t be. We were still too early. But he called me ‘Winnie’!My mind was still reeling from that when he asked me on a proper date.
The pain in my chest was immeasurable. How could this wonderful man be askingmeon a date, and I had to decline him? How was that fair? How was that just?
My heart screamed at me to forget everything I knew, everything I believed in. That if I was just a normal woman being asked out, I wouldn’t have to say ‘no’.
But I wasn’t normal.
I’d never be normal.
And I knew things that made it impossible for me to say ‘yes’. Even if it broke my heart, I had to decline. I wished I could use his already-set plans tonight as my reasoning, wished that was a big enough excuse to turn him down. But he’d ask again. What was building between us was alreadystrong. The tether that bound our fates was beginning to twine.
I wanted to grab hold, to wind the binds around us like a lasso and pull the cords tight. This was no longer one-sided. He sawme. He felt this just as much as I did. I wasn’t sure what changed, what had made him look at me as a woman, but I would forever be grateful.
And yet… It would be so much easier if he didn’t. As much as it would have hurt, it would have been easier.
Quinten shook his head. “You can’t?” There was hurt and confusion on his face, and Ihatedthat I was the one who put them there. “I don’t understand. Why not? You feel this too, whatever this is. I know you do.”
Shit, how did I explain this one? “Why are you riding your bike today?”
He blinked, his face scrunching. “What?”
“Just answer the question. I have a point, I promise.” At least, I think I did. IhopedI did.
The look Quinten gave me made me believe he was questioning my sanity, but he still answered. “Because I love riding my hog.”
“Even when the weather gets cold?”
He nodded. “Especially when the weather gets cold. The others put their sleds away because they won’t take their ol’ ladies or kids riding in this weather, but give me a brisk wind and a windy road, and I’m a happy man.”
I lifted my hand to his chest. “And you’ll ride for as long as you can until the weather says you shouldn’t.”
“Generally,” he agreed. He was watching me closely, and I knew he was trying to guess my point. “Do you have a fear of motorcycles? Is that why you won’t go out with me?”
My lips twitched at the assumption. He had no idea just how much Ilovedmotorcycles. I’d been obsessed with them long before I understood why. I waggled my finger in front of his face. “And when the weather starts to warm, you take your bike out before it’s time?”
His eyes narrowed slightly, and he quickly craned his head down to nip at the pad of my finger. “Has anyone ever told you that holding a conversation with you is like trying to hold ontoJell-O?” I felt my cheeks heat up as he snaked his arm around my waist. “It’s a very good thingJell-Ois my favorite dessert.” Nuzzling my temple, he answered, “Yes, Winnie, I take my hog out far earlier than my brothers do. Now bring this conversation home and connect the dots for me please.”
His scent of leather and musk was heady. I had to fight to keep my eyes from closing and had to straighten my spine to keep from leaning into him. For a moment I couldn’t remember what the point of this conversation was. I took a deep breath. The fog in my mind reminded me of when I was meditating, how disconnected and yet in sync everything felt.
“It’s not summertime,” I informed him.
Quinten stepped back. I nearly lost my balance at the loss of contact, but managed only a small stagger. I blinked, the fog surrounding my mind clearing at the distance he put between us. “Before, you said something like there not being atoday, but asomeday, for us. Do you know something that I don’t? You’re single, I’m single. We have this crazy connection. Yet from the start, you pushed me away. I could have taken you on a date today. You paid for it, but you insisted on labor.” He pointed to my counter where Oolong and Joe werecuddled up. “You have a litter box for my cat and coffee for me. What is it you’re not telling me?”
Turning my head away from him, I confessed, “It was a mistake to bid on you.”
“Then why did you?” His voice was harsh, and I attributed that to the hurt and confusion he was feeling right now. I did not hold it against him.
I didn’t know how to answer his question. What did I say? That I was jealous? That I thought that other woman, the blonde, was trying to manipulate him? That I saw a vision of her telling someone she was pregnant with his baby? He’d think me insane—if he didn’t already.
“Time is like a river. There’s debris, rocks, stones, that slow its path, but it will always keep flowing.”
Quinten rushed forward. He took my chin in his hand, forcing me to look back at him. Well, he moved my head. There was no ‘forcing’ necessary because I was a willing puppet in his arms. He had only to pull the right strings.
“Don’t speak to me like one of your clients or some shmuck on the street looking for his fortune. I haveneverfelt this way about anyone, Calliope. I am entirely out of my element, and Iknow—fuck me, I know—that I am not a good man, therightman, for you. But I want you anyway. I want you with a ferocity that defies sense and reason. I don’t know if I can change, if I can be a better man for you, but in the span of minutes, you have made mewantto be. So don’t give me some mystical mumbo-jumbo filled with guesswork and assumption. Tell methe truth, as you know it.”
My chin trembled in his hold. My stomach sat heavy, like I’d swallowed a boulder and my heart fluttered like a hummingbird’s wings. His coffee-colored eyeswere so serene, and yet hid a passion waiting to be let loose. He was right, though. I owed him, of everyone in my life, the truth. But he was also very wrong.
“It’s not time yet,” I told him solemnly. “You and I… Our future doesn’t start yet.” The confession tasted like ash on my tongue.
