Page 54 of Witch Upon a Star
“Stable,” Tessa announced. There was a unanimous breath of relief from everyone in the waiting room. My knees nearly buckled at the news. “That is not to say she’s going to be walking out of here anytime soon. Her trachea was nearly crushed. We had to insert a breathing tube into her airway.” She made a V with her fingers and placed them at the bottom of her throat. “The procedure is called a tracheostomy. It is our hope that it will not be permanent. She’s got a long road of recovery ahead of her.”
I wasn’t sure which one of us was squeezing the other’s hand harder, me or Solstice.
“Can we see her?” Marmot asked. His voice was shaky but he stood far sturdier than I.
“I can let one of you in at a time,” Tessa replied, “and only for a few minutes. I’m sorry. She’s been sedated to keep her calm and still. In addition to the damage done to her airway, she has several missing nails, a concussion, and a cracked rib. We believe there was a heavy weight pressing down on her ribcage. She has abrasions and severe abdominal bruising.”
Cold washed through me. “It was me. That was me.” God, how could I have been so rough? Had I been so out of control with anger that I’d inadvertently taken it out on Calliope too? What the fuck was wrong with me? Carlos shouldn’t be standing between me and the Cottonville PD. Ishouldbe arrested. If not for murder, then battery at least. I didn’t give a shit about Kurt Brewer or what I’d done to him. I cared about what I had done to Calliope.
“If you’re referring to giving her CPR prior to the paramedics arriving,” Tessa said calmly, “then you’re wrong. Star, you saved her life, and likely saved her brain function. Yes, there will be bruising from that, but a bruise is better than death or brain death. You kept her alive when her body wasn’t capable of doing it herself.Youare the reason she’s going to survive this nightmare.” Tessa stepped forward and grabbed my wrist with her small hand. “And Calliope’s going to be pissed when she learns you refused treatment, Starbucks. Why don’t you come with me to get your arm and hands looked at while her parents take turns to see her?”
I shook my head. “I need to…” I glanced at Solstice and Marmot. Who was I to say that I had a right to see her over her own parents?
“Go with Dr. Collins,” Solstice encouraged. “You’ll see her soon, I promise.”
Soon. Notnow. Solstice didn’t want me seeing her daughter right now.Thiswas my punishment. I knew I deserved it, but fuck, it was painful. I would rather take a hundred lashes than be kept from Calliope’s bedside.
“Go with Tessa, son,” Steel ordered from behind me. “The way you look right now, you’re in no condition to see Calliope anyway.”
I’d changed into scrubs already. The police hadn’t even let me keep my boots. I was literally standing here in a pair of those thin hospital socks with the anti-slip grippies on the soles.
I found myself nodding, though I’d rather sign my own execution.
Solstice turned towards me and hugged me tight. I couldn’t return her hug. I didn’t even deserve this one. “Thank you for saving her,” she breathed.
I shook my head. I caught her father’s eye and guilt washed over me. The man had trusted me with his most precious possession, and I hadn’t protected her. Beyond that, I hadn’t helped her. I’d wasted so much time killing Kurt Brewer when Calliope had been just lying there, not breathing.
“I didn’t save her,” I told him.
Solstice stepped back. “You stop that right now, young man. I don’t know exactly what happened, but I know for a fact that you would never do anything to harm my daughter. She got hurt, but she’salivebecause of you. If you don’t believe us, then maybe you’ll believe her, because she’ll tell you the same thing.”
I closed my eyes, turning my face away. “She must have been so scared. She would have been calling out to me, and I hadn’t heard her. I didn’t even know he was there. I couldn’t… I don’t deserve your kindness.”
Solstice touched my face with the palm of her hand. “Forgive the turn of phrase, Quinten, but shit happens.” I was so shocked by her words that my eyes flew open. “None of us, not even a witch as powerful as Calliope, can stop the universe when she turns into a vindictive bitch. Sometimes we joke that Mother Nature is suffering PMS, because it’s the only explanation.” She gave me a weak smile that I was powerless not to return. “But there isnothing, absolutely nothing, that you could say or do that would ever make me believe that you just stood there and let this happen to my daughter. And if you think that you would, maybe you’re right. Maybe you don’t deserve her.” She patted my cheek, a little harder than I expected. There was something entirely maternal about it, though. “Now go get cleaned up and let Dr. Collins take care of your injuries. She’ll be asking for you as soon as she’s able, and right now, you look like shit.”
The first thingI heard when I finally walked into Calliope’s room was thebeep…beep…beep…of the EKG machine. It brought me right back to the sweat lodge Wednesday morning. Even the pattern was identical. And while that knowledge was terrifying, it was also comforting. That incessantbeepmeant she was alive.
There wasn’t a chair or anywhere for me to sit. I was only allowed a few minutes. Staring down at her still form, I focused on her chest until I saw the rise and the fall that meant she was breathing.
I fell to my knees by her bedside. Gripping her hand between my two, I bowed over her, and for the first time tonight, let the anguish take me.
I triedto keep my coat from wiggling as I walked past the hospital’s visitor desk. In the three days since Calliope’s attack, this was the only time I’d left the hospital. Ghost and Ranger had literally wrangled me into the back of a club SUV, restrained me until I was back in my apartment at the clubhouse, and threatened to shower me themselves if I didn’t do it myself. Showered, shaved, and now smuggling contraband into the hospital, I was finally back. It had only been two hours, but I still felt like that was too long.
Calliope was on the mend, but she would still be here a while. While Tessa was her ER doctor, she was no longer her attending since Calliope had been admitted and transferred upstairs. But Tessa had been able to pull some strings to get Calliope a private suite. Her prognosis was looking good. The swelling in her throat was going down, and additional scans showed no signs of broken bones. The tube at the base of her neck would be staying for two-ish weeks to give her airway time to heal. The goal was to not have any further surgical intervention.
She was lightly sedated and conscious from time to time. The doctors did not want her talking, so we were communicating with blinks and short written messages. There was also an awkward game of charades when she’d first woken up. It took me far too long to figure out that she was asking howIwas doing, not howshewas doing.
I had a cot in her room Tessa had been able to arrange for me after I nearly broke my back the first night sleeping in the chair by her bedside. Even that, though, had been better than crashing on the ER floor outside her room while waiting for her to be admitted upstairs.
I froze when I reentered her room, my arms clutching my jacket closed even tighter. Two police detectives stood in Calliope’s room. Pumpkin and Dosia, who had taken my place at Calliope’s bedside while I’d been forcibly removed from the hospital, were over by the window. It took me a second to spot Carlos, since he was back by the wall as the two detectives stood by her bed.
“What is this?” I demanded.
“We are just getting her statement—” The first detective started to say, but I stormed forward.
“She’s in the fucking hospital! This could have waited!”
Carlos stepped in front of me, blocking my path to the detectives. “Starbucks, stop. They came here to arrest you. Calliope’s statement right now is the only thing that will stop that from happening,so let this happen.”
