Page 71 of Fraternizing with the Enemy
“No,” I said. “I only wanted to be in cheer because Maisie wanted to be.”
And everything went quiet. Jade’s ragged, desperate breathing, the rattling of thoughts in my head, and even the movie from the living room—I couldn’t hear any of it anymore. Jade’s expression was perfectly devoid of emotion, like I’d blinked and she’d wiped every ounce of feeling clear.
Pure, thick fear gripped me then, and I practically tripped over my words. “I mean—because thethreeof us wanted it. Not—not just her.” Jade’s expression didn’t change. “Jade, I didn’t—I didn’t?—”
“Didn’t what? Didn’t mean it?” Jade let go of my hands, cold all at once. “Is it the truth?”
“Jade—”
“You wanted to do cheer withMaisie Matthews?” she said. “Not with me.”
“I wanted to be on the squad with both of you.” My racing heartbeat was beginning to make me dizzy. “I wanted?—”
“And yet you sabotaged her rehearsal. You practiced the wrong choreography with her forweeks, so she’d bomb it and you’d shine.”
Bile rose in my throat. “You asked me to.”
“You still did it.” Jade swiped her hand across her cheek, wiping away the traces of her tears as her eyeshardened. “You pitchedsucha fit over your label, but look what you did freshman year. Even now. You can’t even step down on the cheer squad totem pole even if it meant I could stay at Brentwood.”
I gasped for a breath. Her anger at me, all at once, was unbearable. “Jade, that’s not true?—”
“You want the captain position all to yourself, is that it?”
The tears burning my eyes had begun to pool over, because no matter what I tried to say, it wasn’t coming out right. And I couldn’t let her be mad at me—I couldn’t. “I don’t want it,” I whispered, voice pinching as my own panic grew. “You can have it—I don’t want it at all.” And then the words rushed from me, like I was a broken dam. “I’ll—I’ll do it. I’ll talk to Coach Chelsea after practice tomorrow, I’ll step down. I’ll—I’ll tell her I’m not cut out for it. You’re right. You deserve it. I’m sorry.”
“You mean it?” Jade demanded, and the switch flipped again. Instead of snapping and furious, there was something like hope in her voice. “You’ll actually go to Coach?”
I nodded, sucking in a breath that was more like a hiccup.
“Oh, Madison.” Jade reached out and wrapped her arms around me this time, tugging me to her chest. I felt horrible for not saying it earlier, because the relief in her tone was palpable. “Oh, Mads, thank you, thank you.”
I sat in her embrace, trembling too hard to lift my arms. I bit down on my lower lip to keep from crying harder, the silent tears leaking out of my eyes.
Throughout the school day on Monday, the queasy feeling that stirred in my stomach only worsened. At lunch, I felt so nauseous to the point that I was sure if I tried to force anything down, it’d come straight back up. Instead of going to the Top Tier table in the cafeteria, I went to my mom’s office. She was suspicious, of course, but I just curled into one of her plush chairs and cited, “Cramps.” She offered ibuprofen and didn’t push further.
She also totally ate the entire pizza yesterday. Just out of spite.
The idea of giving up co-captain for Jade had been weighing on me ever since the suggestion had fallen from her lips. I’d barely slept last night, wired awake.You’d do anything for me—and I would’ve. But there were some things you didn’t askof your best friends, right?
I never would’ve dreamed of even considering the insane question if it hadn’t been for what I’d done on Saturday. The guilt of seeing Logan behind Jade’s back was crushing, equally as crushing as the weight of her ask. If Jade found out about Logan, she would see it asconfirmation—that I wanted her titleandthe guy she didn’t want me to be with.
So, I swallowed my pride and the bile rising in my throat, and marched into cheer practice.
Football practice was alive and loud in the background, with their coach shouting drills and instructions to the players like they were dogs instead of high schoolers. Coach Chelsea was a sweetheart in comparison, even though she had her moments of biting steel. She stood with her hands in her pockets now, watching me approach.
“You almost didn’t make it, Oliphant,” she said with a little twist to her lips. “I was beginning to think you were going to skip practice. Again.”
I ducked my head as my cheeks pinked, and though the call out was embarrassing, I knew it was going to be beneficial in the long run. Instead of apologizing, I hurried to stand beside Jade.
Chelsea clapped her hands. “Hair up, jewelry off, ladies—yes, Nina, that means your boyfriend’s class ring, too. You try to leave it on for one more practice, and you’re benched next game.”
The cheer squad sang a chorus ofoohs under their breath, watching as Nina slid the ring off and tucked it into the pocket of her athletic shorts.
“Great.” Coach Chelsea turned. “Jade, Madison—lead us in warmups?”
“Of course!” Jade’s voice was cheery, the total opposite of how she’d sounded the day before. She bounded to the front of the squad, whereas I trailed at a slower pace. This would be the last time I’d open a practice with warmups. The last time I’d stand before the girls as theirleader, not just their peer. They all looked at Jade and me expectantly, faces bright and ready for a good practice.
I scanned each of their faces, even Riley’s, as Jade began the dynamic stretches.This isn’t right, a small part of me screamed, rebelling like a toddler stomping their feet.This isn’t fair.
