Page 153 of Fraternizing with the Enemy
Logan’s laugh was awkward, forced. “Well, uh. I’m glad you made it out tonight?—”
“Was it hard slipping back into the role? After a whole summer away, I bet it was quite difficult.” The man tapped his chin. “You know, I thoughtyouwere Romeo. Imagine my surprise when they called ya Paris!”
Periodically while the man spoke, Logan would reach over and graze my wrist with his fingertips. He didn’t hold on, and after a second of contact, he pulled back. A few minutes later, when a few girls from his grade came up to congratulate him, he did the same thing, reaching out to touch me before drawing his hand back. And again, after an older woman stepped in to give him a hug.
As if he was too afraid to hold my hand—or he was just checking to make sure I was still there.
“I’m sorry,” Logan said suddenly to the elderly woman in front of him. This time, when he reached for me, his hand curled around my own. “I have to go to the bathroom.”
Before I could even blink, Logan was tugging meaway, cutting through the murmuring bodies like a man on a mission. My feet stumbled to keep up, even as Logan drew us through the side door and past cast members who were still lingering. I caught the eyes of a few people as we brushed past, their whispers following in our wake. “Logan,” I began, and even though I tugged on my hand, he refused to let go. “Am I allowed to be back here?”
He didn’t respond. Instead, he pulled us through an open door withDRESSING ROOMon the front of it. It was a room filled with racks of costumes, some with empty hangers since the cast was still wearing them. There were two vanity tables along the back wall, with large, bright lightbulbs still lit up, even though no one was sitting there.
Logan sealed us inside the small room, even going as far as pushing the lock in the doorknob in. I might’ve laughed if it hadn’t been for the tension between his shoulders. “Logan, there are people who want to talk to you?—”
“I don’t care.” Logan turned around and faced me, and I could see the haunted look in his blue eyes. “I don’t think I could care less, actually. I only care about you.”
A tremor rippled through me. The last time I’d seen him, his face had blurred through the shimmer of my tears—edges soft, colors bleeding, like a memory I was too ashamed to hold.
Now, the ache was still there, but beneath it, something else stirred. Something like hope.
“Noah told me about the play,” I said before Logan could begin, rubbing my arm. “I hope it’s okay… that I came.”
Logan drew in a trembling breath. “I’m glad you did.I was hoping you would.” And then he exhaled hard. “I—I don’t even know where to begin?—”
“You don’t have to.”
“I do.” He shook his head, and a lock of his perfectly combed golden hair fell free from its hairspray. “I should’ve told you everything. That Jade was behind it all, that she was threatening me. I should’ve?—”
“Logan.” I wanted to reach out and grab his hand, to give it a reassuring squeeze, but I was too nervous. All at once, it felt like we were back at the beginning of everything, and I was too scared to touch him. “Can I go first?”
Mutely, he nodded his head.
With the spotlight suddenly on me, center-stage, my mind scrambled. There were so many things to say, to explain, to apologize for, that I suddenly had no idea where to start. “Did you end up seeing the whole fake Babble post?”
Logan nodded again. “Noah showed me.”
So he’d seen it all now, even the things that weren’t true. I didn’t want to jump to my defense, though, and instead swallowed hard. “I’ve done a lot of crappy things.” Heat prickled along the back of my neck. “Hurt people when I didn’t mean to… and when I did mean to. For so long, I’d brushed it off. Or I’d blame Jade.”
That was how I’d survived all throughout high school whenever I thought of Maisie—it wasn’t a big deal. It worked out in the end. I wouldn’t have done anything differently. Jade made me do it.It’d been a merry-go-round I’d found comfort in.
“Jade got in my head at Homecoming.” I took a shaky breath. “She made me feel like I didn’t know who I was. Like I’d spent my whole life letting other people tell mewhat to do—who to be. And she wasn’t wrong. I followed her lead with everything. Cheer. Friends. Even you.”
Logan watched me silently, the pain on his face building.
“I never doubted you,” I told him. “But I doubted myself. I hated the person I was when I let her use me, and I hated thinking that maybe the only reason you were in my life was because I followed her plans.”
And accepting everything had taken much longer than it should’ve. Without Maisie coming into my room, it would’ve been even longer. I finally came to the realization, but late.
“And I hated knowing I was the reason Jade went after you,” I whispered. “That she blackmailed you just to get to me. That was why you were so upset that night in the alley, wasn’t it? Because of everything.”
Logan’s jaw tightened, his eyes glinting with something that looked like pain. “I wasn’t upset forme,” he murmured, voice rough. “I was upset foryou. Because you had a best friend who was Satan incarnate and a boyfriend too cowardly to admit the truth. Our relationship started as Jade’s lie, and I should’ve told you. I just…” Logan closed his eyes. “I just was too terrified that if I told you, I’d lose you. And that worry… it felt like punishment I’d earned. Loving you while knowing I was the reason you’d get hurt.”
“You weren’t the reason,” I said simply. “Jade was. You were right—neither one of us should be taking on the guilt someone else should carry.”
Logan let out a slow breath.
“How long—” I began, then broke off. It wasn’t a question I wanted to ask, but I needed to know. “How long were you and Jade?—”
