Page 108 of Fraternizing with the Enemy
For several reasons, and one of them being how awkward I felt sitting across from her talking about my love life. But the main one… “He goes to Jefferson.”
At that, Mom’s eyebrows shot up in surprise—maybe even disappointment. And that was when it all started to come out.
The relief of being able to finally let everything out had my story coming in slow, clumsy pieces. I spoke things out of order—talking about the arcade date before even mentioning the Most Likely To list. I told her about how we met at Brentwood’s open house, how it’d actually been a dare, but it felt more like fate. I told her how it felt different with Logan. Real. And how scary that was, because being with someone from Jefferson wasn’t just frowned upon—it waspractically social suicide.
Mom kept quiet through it all, listening, with not much change in her expression. That was her principal side coming out, I knew—calmly listening, processing, figuring out the best way to respond.
By the end, I could feel the weight of every secret I’d kept pressing against my ribs. And yet, saying it out loud made it feel just a little lighter. Like maybe I didn’t have to carry it alone anymore. And really, itwasthe first time I was saying it all aloud. It came out of me, undammed.
“I just didn’t want anything accidentally slipping out,” I told her. “Or else I would’ve told you. But this had to stay… between him and me.”
Mom thought about that. “How do you feel when you’re with him?”
“I feel good.” My voice wobbled, and I nodded, like I was realizing it as I told her. “I feel… so good. When you meet him, you’ll understand. It’s like—I don’t even know how to explain it. Like something in me calms down when he’s around—he’d say it’s the opposite. He’d say I ramble around him, which is funny, because I don’t really think I’m a rambler.”
Around Jade, there wasn’t room to ramble. Not many people would’ve listened, anyway. After a while, Jade would rub her temples and say I was talking too much. But with Logan, he’d lay his chin in his upturned palm and listen for hours, eyes solely on me.
I let out a breath, searching for the right words. “He’s goofy. He likes weird things—like arcade games and theater and that kind of stuff. But when I’m with him, I laugh without trying. Like,reallylaugh. I don’t think about how loud it is, or how ugly it might sound. I just get to be me.”
I thought about the time Logan pulled me out intothe rain, ruining my hair and makeup. His thumbs had been gentle when they’d swiped underneath my eyes.Don’t be afraid of soaked hair or smudged makeup. You’re beautiful either way.
“He’s taught me a lot about myself, I think. About the kind of person I want to be. And I… like how I feel when I’m with him.” I glanced up at Mom, feeling silly, but the words wouldn’t stop. “A lot.”
Mom’s eyes looked like they were shining under my bedroom lights, and even though she wasn’t smiling with her mouth, it kind of looked like she was. I wondered if this was what she’d imagined would happen when she first walked in. Maybe she’d thought it would be something worse—not that her daughter was secretly falling in love.
Mom reached out and nudged my knee, gentle and affectionate, and when she spoke, her voice sounded thick. “I can’t wait to meet him.”
“You’ll like him.”
Mom traced my face again, as if seeing something I couldn’t. “I like him already.”
“How does homecoming week feel?”
I looked over at where Logan sat in the driver’s seat of his car, one hand on the steering wheel, the other stretched over and in mine. The sun shone into his eyes, but he didn’t let go to flip his visor down.
Since homecoming was on Friday, every day, Brentwood had themes for the students to dress up to. “Today’s spirit day was fun,” I told him. “Pajama day.”
Logan glanced down at my dress. “Those are pajamas?”
“You think I’d wear pajamas on a date?”
Then again, a dress might’ve been a little much for a Monday night out. It was a causal date—Logan had to stop by Expresso’s to fix one of the espresso machines for a new hire, and then after that, we were off to his favorite record store over in Chesterville. Casual, lowkey, but perfect for quality time. He’d offered to let me pick the date tonight— “We said last time, you’d get to choose”—but I’d still given him the reins.
I’d never, ever admit it, but I secretly liked seeing what dorky thing he came up with next.
I thought about the rest of spirit week. “Tomorrow’s twin day. Jade and I normally would’ve done something, but…” She hadn’t reached out to plan anything, and I hadn’t either. In fact, I had almost beendreadingher saying something about it. “It feels different this year.”
It was the understatement of the century. It more than just felt different; itwasdifferent. Example? Today, I’d done something unheard of.
I sat in the library during lunch. Not with the Top Tier.
The thought of sitting with them after this weekend, after learning about what they did to Noah, made my stomach twist. Or what theymight’vedone to Noah. Or, well—they definitelydidit, but not knowing if it was on purpose or not was what complicated things. If it was accidental, well. Accidents happened, especially in a physical sport like football.
If it was purposeful… That was another story. And it wasn’t like I could just ask, either, not without giving everything away.
But it still felt like choosing sides. Like by sitting with them, I was saying I was okay with what might or might not have happened.
And I wasn’t.
