Page 17 of Kings of Lust
That unless...
Hmmm...
An idea flashed through my mind.
An idea that I had to wait until the next break to be able to put to use. I needed to focus first on the delightful hour of ‘Skills of communication.’ A course both Cole and Brax could have used.
‘I need to talk to you before you get to the next seminar,’ I caught Jenna’s arm as she was preparing to leave, guiding her through long corridors, straight to our secluded spot in the backcourt, next to the announcement’s boards.
‘What’s wrong?’ Her lower lip trembled with worry, assuming the worst. And why would she not, since usually, theworstwas normality back in the streets where we grew up?
‘Nothing, I just wanted to give you something,’ placing an arm around her shoulders, I tried to soothe her, reassure her somehow that I would do my best to help her.
‘The muffins were enough, thank you,’ she smiled, holding on to a level of pride that had no use at that moment.
I used to share the pride as well, at least when it came to me. That’s mostly why the days begging on the streets to please my father almost destroyed me. And if that didn’t successfully manage to break my personality, then my three kings were competing to crush what was left of it.
‘I want you to have this,’ I unlocked a small bracelet from my wrists and turned it into a golden puddle of metal in her palm.
It was just a small accessory that I chose for the day out of an oversized jewelry box that I found in my dressing room. I didn’t think it was worth much, but I knew that for her it would be enough to put even just one decent meal on the table.
‘I can’t accept that,’ she rushed to return the bracelet to me, even though she had no real chance of succeeding as I pushed her fingers to close back into a fist.
‘I’m not sure if it’s gold plated, or entirely out of gold, but you can sell it to ease things out a little.’
‘Won’t the person who gave this to you have a say in this?’ Jenna asked, still unsure if she should keep it.
‘I’ll deal with him if that is the case,’ I nodded, knowing that Ferris would understand... If he’d ever find out. I wasn’t going to open the subject and give him more reasons to expect something in return, but neither was I going to deny it.
My gesture made a loose tear roll down her face ‘I don’t know what to say...’
‘Good, ‘cause I don’t need you to say anything. You’re my friend. Myonlyfriend.’ It wasn’t like I could consider a single one of the new acolyte friends anyway. ‘Now, go, the next class is about to start.’
I was always bad at sharing emotions, clumsy one may think, mostly because I lacked receiving emotions myself. My mother was wonderful, I could’t deny that, but she loved us in her own way, sharing a warmth that often replaced physical gestures like hugging. Words held no ground if not supported by facts. She was in a way, a product of her society, knowing not to make us weak by over-cuddling us, yet not too harsh either and denying us of her motherly love. I guess I was like her in many ways, not wanting to hear the wordsI love you, but those words being proven to me instead, in other ways.
The next two seminars passed and as much as I would have liked to remain at the Academy, Sebastian’s first visit to the new hospital was forcing me to leave. I must have arrived back home at noon, ready...or not so ready to take my brother to the hospital. I hated going there, each time the feeling of isolation setting in while walking through the grey hallways, as each one of the units looked very much similar to an abandoned facility than a healthcare institution.
To my surprise, the place was different. I should have thought about it since I knew Ferris set up something for us in the Hills, but what I found there in reality, exceeded all expectations.
Lush gardens, just like the ones in a palace courtyard were surrounding a modern glass-walled building in which everything seemed to be state of the art. Totally opposite from the places we were used to, and so strangely welcoming that Seb couldn’t hide some laughter of happiness.
His treatment wasn’t something that could have been avoided, but at least the facility, along with the warm temper of the nurse that took him in, managed to dilute some of his visible discomforts away.
It was just life acting out on us. That was the part I hated most. Watching him suffer, watching anyone I care about suffer without being able to take their pain away, to take it upon me. Ferris’s knife sounded like a much better alternative to those needles, but the way that Seb kept himself strong was giving me the power I needed to go on without letting any sign of my weakness surface. I needed to be strong for him in return, and that was exactly the impression that he would receive.
No weakness allowed- at least not external.
We remained there until the afternoon, time in which we both dozed off- Seb dreaming of new toys and me dreaming of the day I would no longer be a toy.
Speaking of toys, I managed to text Ferris before I left for home, letting him know that I was meeting Cole that night. No answer came, and I could only imagine that either he was pissed off, or he just didn’t care. Either way, the chances of me sleeping in his bed that evening were almost non-existent.
Strangely, I found the babysitter home when I arrived, taking away the effort of having to figure out a way to convince Nat to take care of Sebastian while I was going to be out. Besides, knowing that someone else, besides the bodyguards positioned in front of the building, was watching them made things a lot easier for me to handle. Not that anything was ever easy since I arrived in Echo City.
I needed to find something to wear- and fast. It was almost 8 pm by the time I got my head around things, having sat down to serve dinner and eat with my siblings before I could leave. I owed them at least that much, especially since I understood I had to value each moment stolen to be together. Life wasn’t going to be easy here either, knowing that they would be mostly alone due to all my othercommitments. But them having shoes and clothes...and basically, all they needed and more was encouraging hope that I was doing the right thing.
I finally ended up in the closet, searching through the shelves for something to fulfill theno brarequest. One step away from messing things up, I picked up a black dress that could hinder a little the lack of a bra, but as I was trying it on, a purple satin corset popped into my sight.
Sublime!
