Page 13 of Kings of Lust
‘Sharing!?’
‘Yes, sharing. Everything and anything. Clothes, cars, and of course the women that went through our beds.’
The concept seemed impossible in my mind.
Yes, I could understand clothes, cars and whatever other things.
Butwomen!?
How could that ever work?
How could they control their jealousy?
‘You were sleeping with each other girlfriends!?’ At least that was what I got out of this.
‘Not exactly girlfriends. I don’t recall either of us ever having a girlfriend.’ Ferris seemed so amused with the idea that he was making me believe they were seeing women as disposable toys. ‘They were in it for the fun, not for marriage and children,’ he continued, cackling at the thought. ‘And the ones I decided were worth the time, I suggested to Brax, and the other way around. Brax and I are one. We know each other ever since I can remember, to the point we were under the impression we shared the same crib at the maternity.’ I knew that they were good buddies, but I never imagined them to be friends atthatlevel. ‘Cole came around a little later, but we recognized him on spot as being the chain link we were missing. That’s why he took on the title. He was the only one worthy of carrying it further.’
And then it hit me. I suddenly started comprehending things at a whole different level as all of them shared the same stereotype.
They were bullies.
If not on a physical, then on an emotional level. Manipulation or sheer force would always provide them with the result they wanted.
‘So, you see. I don’t mind sharing you with Brax or Cole. They both represent a part of me. But you want to know what I fucking really mind!?’ His temper quickly escalated to that of a volcano, making me pray that the knife was nowhere near him. ‘I fucking mind that you chose to sleep with him first!’
I recognized from the flames dancing in his eyes that he was telling the truth.
It wasn’t a question of jealousy.
It was a matter of ego!
‘I know you had a deal with Brax, but I thought what we had was much more than a deal. You could have told me. I would have understood.’
‘How was I supposed to know that you and Brax knew each other?’ I whined as my heightened pulse was bringing me in to a place between life and death. I couldn’t live with the torment shaking every cell of my body, and I couldn’t die as nothing was destined to spare me of my misery and finish me.
‘You didn’t have to know. Whoever it may have been, I would have resolved things somehow.’ Ferris was in pain and I could clearly visualize it as his beautiful face was shifting as he spoke.
‘I’m sorry. I was afraid to tell you everything... But on the other hand, I never lied to you. I never promised more than I could give you.’
‘Maybe you’re right. But Ineed morethan you can give me, Bea.’
Luckily, I had a pretty good idea of what he was referring to.
He needed meto needhim.
That was what it was all about. He needed me to depend on him, and even if he was willing to share, when it came to me, he wanted supremacy over my emotions.
‘Ferris, please. I can’t turn back the clock, but you know that I need you. I need you right now. This thing inside is killing me.’ I spoke between the impossible pulses that were pounding within me, creating an anguish so strong that I was beginning to lose the sense of reality.
I noticed a twitch in his hand, as he was about to step up, yet something was holding him from doing it. He was fighting feelings versus retribution, wanting to loath me and love me at the same time. And I needed to do something. Something that would make him want to choose option B. I needed to give him what he desired, and at a ridiculous point, what he desired became what I desired in that moment.
‘I need you,’ my feet propped against the mattress, trying to hold back the pressure building down to my ovaries.
The notion ofme needinghim, almost drove him mad, fueling an existing craving with the promise of complete ecstasy. In reality, I hated him for his games. I hated him because he chose to play them with me, and at the same time I desperately wanted him next to me.
As if listening to my thoughts, he rose from the couch and began advancing in my direction.
‘Come here,’ I ghosted a breath when he reached me, inviting his body to join me. ‘Ferris,’ I continued, assuring myself that my simmering voice tied him to me tighter than the bonds over my hands were tying me to the bed.
