Page 51 of Kings of Desire
I’m not sure if he just wanted a few free seconds, or maybe he really cared about me not catching a cold, but the almost freezing temperature made me listen, and snatch a blanket off the couch to put it over my shoulders.
‘Come here,’ I opened my arms the moment I returned to him, to get his body beneath the warm material- although strangely, he didn’t seem to be cold.
A smile that hid more bitterness than happiness in it raised on his lips as his arms lifted so I could catch him into a hug, wrapping his torso with my blanket, but leaving his hands free so that he could smoke.
‘So, what’s wrong?’ I asked, gluing my head to his chest, listening to the music of his heartbeats.
He puffed, inhaling the night’s air ‘I don’t know, it’s hard to explain, but it doesn’t have to do with you.’
‘It sure felt like it.’ I think honesty was the best card, although I suspected him of not playing fair.
‘Ok, it does, but it’s not something that can put on you...it’s not your fault, in any case… It’s mine. Just promise you won’t push me to talk about it.’
‘No, I won’t. Do you want me to leave?’ I felt like I had to ask since he didn’t seem comfortable anymore in my presence.
‘No… never!’ He rushed to say, althoughneverseemed a little extreme. ‘I mean, I hadn’t acted like that because I want you to leave.’ the arm that didn’t hold the cigarette glided beneath the blanket, then after a last drag, was followed by the other. ‘Although you should do it for your own sake,’ a smirk appeared on his lips while something diabolical flashed in the two Onyx pearls looking back at me. ‘Better now?’ He questioned, clutching on my hips until our bodies met, then driving his lips to fall on me.
‘Yes,’ I spoke the truth. A truth that it was better to keep for myself.
‘You’re right. It is better,’ he answered, finding his place back beneath my shirt.
Such a contrast between the cold outside and the heat generated inside of our blanket where his hands were exploring every inch of my breasts as my arms were pinned on his shoulders, keeping our shelter in one place.
One by one, the buttons of my shirt were coming undone, making room for him to play with my hardened tips, causing him to roar in wild satisfaction.
Leaning towards me and dragging his hands beneath my knees, he lifted me on his waist, then turned me around to place me on the balcony balustrade so he could get better access as the height difference between us was an inconvenience in those moments.
‘What are you doing!?’ I panicked since I was standing on a narrow stone railing at the edge of a cliff, hanging in a fine line between life and death.
As if deaf to my question, his kiss grew hungrier, releasing an untamed storm to devastate me as we were both floating on the verge of sanity.
The blood in his veins was reaching heightening speed, pacing his tongue against my own, barely succeeding to compose his yearnings.
‘Let me down from here,’ I pleaded between kisses. Still useless, speaking to numb ears as his mouth fell beneath my blanket to search for the round shape of my breasts. ‘Ferris,’ I whimpered, fearing that his actions will unbalance me.
‘Shush,’he pulled on my hips to tighten my core against his hardness, making my skirt rise so high that the thin material of my panties was glued to his jeans.
I have never seen him that much alive as in those seconds, eyes burning with desire while raising his head for a second to look at me. ‘I need you to trust me,’ he whispered, disappearing beneath the blanket again, merging his lips with the tips of my breasts, leaning over me so much that my torso was hanging outside of the balcony, directly over the cliff.
‘Stop it, Ferris,’ I let out a muffled scream, trying to push him back as he seemed to be made of stone. My gesture only drove him further, pressing the soft skin of my chest between his lips, leaving bruises along his path while iron hands were digging deep into my flesh, steadying me against him.
His lips began moving harder and faster, hurting me and bringing me so close to ecstasy at the same time, while I felt him propping me against him, raising me almost completely off the ledge.
‘Ferris!’ I cried out while real tears were rolling over my cheeks, recognizing the madness that I saw two nights ago. It felt like I was flying and dying at the same time, terrified that he was fucking insane but also terrified of the chill of life running through all of my body. ‘I said, stop,’ I tried to get a better grip on his shoulders, but managed to let go of the blanket, letting it slip off the balcony, and catching a glimpse of it with the corner of my eye brought me suddenly back to reality.
I no longer knew if he was playing, or genuinely wanted to hurt me, but I was starting to think he wasn’t even there anymore, as if his soul had left his body.
‘Ferris,’ I screamed as I felt I was slipping away, propelling my feet against the stone balustrade and pushing us backward inside the balcony.
The momentum unbalanced him, and in his attempt to protect me, he fell on the floor, dragging my body on top of him.
‘You don’t trust me,’ he smiled for some strange reason, whirling us around on the stone floor until he stopped on top of me, making room beneath my limbs. ‘You will always be safe with me,’ his mouth claimed mine, so slow, unhurried again, as he did back in his room, raising a thousand questions in my mind.
What was he actually doing? And what was he actually doing to me?
He was death, and he was life, slowly killing me while lifting me impossibly close to the sky.
Tears were still rolling off my eyes, as the uncertainty of whether he would hurt me or not was still there. But they were flowing for another reason too. The closeness, the union, the hands roaming my body, and the tremor between my thighs- they were unstoppable, sending me on a road of no return as he was kissing his madness away ‘It’s ok... It’s ok, Bea.’ I think he said it a hundred times until I ended up believing it. It was going to be ok...in the end.
