Page 7 of Broken Hero
I turn to Declan and smile. “So, you're a fireman?”
He nods. “I am.”
“Bet you get all the women with that job.”
Why did I say that?
Jack splutters. “Our Dec here doesn’t bother with such frivolities. Do you Dec?”
I catch a look that Dec gives Jack; wow, if looks could kill. Exit time for me.
“I'll leave you guys to it. Nice to see you again, Declan.”
He looks down at me and smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Why does this guy unnerve me so much?
The girls are still chatting with Robyn, so I go over and leave the brothers to it.
I need to take a breath. He has a strange effect on me.
A lot has happened in the two years since that night. A wave of sadness passes over me as I think about where I was then. When I still had a mum, when my dad was relatively normal, now everything is fucked up.
Mia is at the side of me before I can process. “I saw you talking to Jack’s brother. Do you remember that night? Us taking him home?”
I nod. “Do I? I'm the one that had to carry him to the bloody door, it nearly killed me, plus he was such a downer, going on and on about his ex - about how he'd never find love again. I mean, come on, buddy, pick yourself up and get over it!”
“Yeah, he was in pain that night - wonder if he’s over it now. He’s gorgeous.”
I shake my head. “I wouldn't go there – he’d be more trouble than he’s worth.” I sigh, “You know, Mum was ill that night. We had no idea how bad it was at that point.”
She touches my arm. “I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you lost your mum like that and so fast. It was soon after that night, wasn't it?”
I nod. “Yeah, bowel cancer worked her fast. Christ, I miss her. It all went downhill from there.”
She knows what I'm talking about. “I take it your dad isn't doing any better.”
“So much worse, Mia. Anything I say to him goes in one ear and out the other. He is out all the time, gambling. He spends every single penny he earns at the factory and keeps coming to me for money to pay the bills. I'm so worried that he’s going to get himself into serious trouble.”
She looks worried. “You're still giving him money?”
I cringe. “Maybe...sometimes. I don't know what to do. I keep thinking I need to ask Mum, the always sorted everything out, but Mum isn't here and, other than you guys, I don't have anyone else.”
“It's not a good idea you keep giving him money, though.”
“I know, I know. I’ve told him no more, that last week was the last time. I've even found him Gambler’s Anonymous meetings to go to, gave him a list of times, but he won't go. I know he always liked to have a bet on the horses before mum died. But it’s gotten worse – he hasn’t dealt with her death at all, he didn't grieve - this is how he’s dealing with it, but I have grief too - it's not like it goes away, ever - you kind of learn to live with this horrible hollow feeling inside of you.”
She slides her arm around me. “I'm so sorry, babe. You always seem so upbeat all the time, so happy. I guess there is a lot more going on up here than we know.” She taps my forehead.
I have to snap out of this. I'm going to bring everyone down on such a happy occasion.
“Anyway, never mind, that’s a problem that isn’t going away any time soon - come on, let’s get another drink.”
The barbecue gets rowdier. Jack and Robyn look so happy. Eli, Robyn's son, leaves with his dad and the others with little ones take off early to get their kids in bed, so it's just us adults. Around midnight the crowd starts to thin out – some going elsewhere to carry the party on or left because they had too much to drink.
Mia, Vick and Harmony moved on to somewhere else, and Denny tagged along with them. I stay and help clear up - it saves me making excuses. The truth is I don't have the money - I didn't want to tell Mia earlier, but I’ve gotten myself in a mess with giving Dad money. I’ve given him more than I should and left myself short. She’s right, I need to nip it in the bud; I'm not doing him any favours, just dragging the problem out.
Jack and Robyn are necking on the outdoor sofa as though they've only just met. I go inside to find a tray to collect all the empties, and as I'm heading back outside, I crash into someone, making the tray go clattering loudly to the floor. I see a wall of chest. I keep looking up and come face to face with Declan. I’ve noticed him a couple of times throughout the night - Imayhave watched him a couple of times. He intrigues me. He was such a mess the last time I saw him, but tonight he seems different. I've seen him laughing and chatting. We made eye contact a few times – no doubt he’s wondering why I keep glancing his way. I’m so tempted to ask him if he remembers that night.
“Oh! Sorry, I didn't see you there.” That sounds stupid, seeing as he is a beast of a man!
