Page 74 of Rider Forbidden
I sit down and try not to look behind me I really do, but I'm drunk and I want to see him, I don't want to talk to him, but I know he’s here - how can I not turn around?
Sophie spots Denny. “Oh shit. Denny's here.”
I answer, “I know, he’s with Jack.” Just as I say it her eyes go to the door, I turn around and sure enough, there he is. Christ, why is he so gorgeous? Black fitted jeans, boots, and a white fitted shirt. Something so simple, but he can make anything look hot. I try to look away but it's like a car crash, I can't tear my eyes away. As if sensing someone watching him his eyes come in my direction and lock on mine, something shoots through me, an attraction that - as much as I wish wasn't there - will not go away. I can't decipher the look on his face, he’s giving nothing away, he looks down at his feet as he walks to the bar to Denny. He throws his arm around Denny and says something into his ear and then Denny looks my way with a sad smile. OK, that’s it, enough - I need to stop watching now. I turn to the girls and they're all silent watching me. I give a wave of my hand. “It's fine. Honestly, I'm fine.”
They don't look so sure. “It's OK to not be fine you know.” Sophie says
“Like we've just been saying, it's a small town, if I want to come to the pub, I'm going to have to get used to him being here.”
“I guess, but the way he just looked at you - as though you're a steak and he hasn't eaten in a week - I don't think he’s done yet.” Carrie says
“Pf-ft, well I am, he can do one . . . I'm done.”
They nod but have definitely quietened down some.
I put on my brave face and turn my back to him, trying to pretend I'm having the time of my life, which, up until him coming in I realise I was having the best time - sure I'm heartbroken or whatever, but these girls are such good company and we’ve been having fun.
“You know what would have been really good?” Carrie asks
“What?” I ask
“If Joel would have come over now instead of before Jack came in - that would have pissed him off so much, it would have been fun.”
“It wouldn't have pissed him off - he doesn't want me, remember?”
“Yeah we’ll see . . .” Sophie says
The band are due to start any minute - they’ve cleared a space for them and cleared a space for a small dance floor. The girls have been talking about how they've seen them before, how good they are and how hot a couple of the band members are, especially the lead singer. They sing indie type rock stuff, not sure how into that kind of music I am, but right now anything that takes my mind off Jack being here is good.
“Come on,” Carrie says, let's get a good spot on the dance floor, it’ll get filled and then we won't get a good view.
We all grab our drink and make our way over. The girls stop and talk to well, everyone, along the way. It’s that kind of pub - everyone knows one another.
The music starts and the band comes on the little floor space they've got, and they weren't joking, the lead singer - wow. He is so not the type of guy that I would normally look at twice. He has brown shoulder-length hair and he’s around six feet tall, but it’s his eyes that suck you in. The large brown eyes and long eyelashes surrounding them do something to me, his eyes skim across the pub and land on me for a second and I smile, he fires a smirk in my direction and heads to the mic. I guess he thought I was hitting on him, something he’s probably used to.
“Wow,” Sophie says leaning in, “he totally checked you out then.”
“He glanced my way Sophie, there’s a difference.”
“I think you get men checking you out so much that you don't even notice they're doing it.”
That’s not what it is. I get this from women, sometimes innocently, sometimes nastily, they comment on my appearance and automatically think that I must get lots of attention from men. Maybe I do, but not the attention I want.
The music starts up and we start to dance. The atmosphere in the pub has gone electric, it’s so busy tonight and it seems everyone knows this band and has been waiting for them to start.
When he starts to sing . . . oh my god. His voice is gravelly and so sexy. He has a magnetic stage presence - I can't take my eyes off him. He starts singing ‘Mr Brightside’and he’s good, really good, the band have clearly been together for a long time and they sound amazing . . . professional - now I get what all the fuss is about.
We dance and sway to the music, singing out loud when we know the song. I ignore the fact that Jack is in the pub somewhere. Maybe he’s left, I make a point of not looking.
As song after song passes, I begin to think that Sophie is right. The lead singer watches me more and more. He’s just finished singing ‘One day’ by Elbow,amazing,he had the whole pub singing - I revel in all this - everyone singing together, dancing with my friends. I haven't had this in a very long time, and I love it.
The girls all make a fuss about how he can't take my eyes off me and I start to get a little embarrassed - even in my drunken state. He is making it kinda obvious now.
He speaks over the mic, “And this next one is for the fucking gorgeous girl in the audience that I cannot take my eyes off . . . Jesus. This one is for her.”
He starts to sing Oasis ‘Wonderwall’ and looks right at me. All the girls around me whoop and cheer and I laugh. I look at the singer and he gives me a wink and blows me a kiss. I'm just about to blow him one back when I feel someone pulling at my arm, trying to drag me off the dance floor, I look up, Jack is stood there, his face thunderous.
“What do you want?” I ask nastily.
