Page 47 of Rider Forbidden
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I'm so tired for work the next morning, I am down so many hours sleep I can't even work it out. I do put my alarm on extra early so I can get ready before Eli wakes and then I can do him an extra special breakfast of bacon, beans, and hash browns - his favourite.
I miss Jack, I miss having the contact with him, but on the other hand it's so nice having my Eli back, being back here. This place has become home to me quickly. Eli's dad is never far from my thoughts - wondering what the hell I'm going to do.
I know nothing else can happen with Jack, Eli comes first and I have to deal with this. Besides, I know for sure that if dad found out about Jack, he would make things very awkward for him. I don't want that. I want him to be able to concentrate on his career without me screwing it up just because I want to get laid. No. It's for the best. I will leave Jack alone. I mean, he’s probably already decided that he’s done with me anyway, so it’s not a problem.
I drop Eli off at school and then make my way to work. I have butterflies for two different reasons, one; I don't know how to act with Jack and two; I don't know what my dad’s going to tell me about Bobby. I know one thing, I have to pull up my big girl pants and contact him. See what his intentions are and what we can do about it. Why has seeing me suddenly wanted him to start being a dad? He’s had four years for that. I'm so divided about him not wanting anything to do with Eli - on one hand, I hate that he didn't want to know him, on the second hand I'm glad that he didn't, because it’s just been me and him and I’ve been perfectly happy that way and so has Eli - no failed meetings, no disappointments, no missed birthdays. Dependable, just how I like it to be for Eli, and myself for that matter.
The more I settle into normal routine back home the more I think I must have lost my mind in Spain. It's so unlike me to throw caution to the wind and give the time of day to a player like Jack. What was I thinking? He’s no good for me or Elijah. But god, it was good . . . so good - and it was nice living on the wild side - even if it was only for a couple of days. Maybe it’s time I lived more, put myself out there more instead of hiding behind Elijah. Surely there’s a way that I can be the best mum I can be, but still have part of me that wants to have fun and be just me? This is a battle I’ve had for many years, the mum side always wins out. Jack’s persuasive personality got the better of me, just for a short time. I feel like I'm more fun when I'm with Jack. I like that he brings out that side of me. Why do I need to be so serious all the time?
I walk into the coffee room and there he is. He smiles at me, winks and points down to the table where there’s a coffee waiting for me.
“Morning Danish. Got you one.”
I give him a weary smile, so relieved that things aren't going to be awkward but so so tired.
He frowns. “You look like shit. What’s up?”
I roll my eyes. “Thanks Jack. Just what every girl wants to hear.”
He shakes his head. “Sorry that came out bad. Is everything OK? The little man OK?”
I nod and smile softly. “Yeah he’s fine.” I hold my hand out for the coffee. “Gimme gimme, I need that.”
He raises one eyebrow. “Up all night again?”
I chuckle “No but couldn't sleep.”
He leans in so no-one around will hear. “Aw . . . missing my chest to rest your head on, were you?”
Would I have gotten sleep if he was there? Maybe . . . he does have a very nice chest.
“No, just a few things on my mind. Nothing to worry about.”
He stays close to me, hardly a gap between us and looks at me. He doesn't say anything, he just really looks at me. I feel like he’s trying to read my mind. Good luck with that Jack, it’s all scrambled today.
He’s still stood that way when the door goes, I turn around, its dad. Oh great. This doesn't look dodgy at all.
Dad frowns and looks between Jack and me. Jack walks back to his table and picks up his coffee, taking a gulp.
“Mr Brinley. Lovely to have you here on this fine day.”
Why is he always so chipper?
“Jack. How are you?”
“I'm good, ready for my first win.”
Dad nods “Good, glad to hear that. We’ll be here watching, won't we Robyn?”
I nod “Of course.”
Dad looks at me. “Is there somewhere we can go for that chat?”
We could go to my office where I’ve been working but Sophie is probably there. It’s a dry day. “Let's get you a cup of tea and we’ll go and have it outside.” There is a little area near the cafe and near the smoking area that just has a couple of tables and chairs.
I grab him a tea and we get settled in the chairs outside, Jack disappeared to god knows where, which suits me fine when dad is around. Dad doesn't miss anything. There’s a reason why he’s so successful.
