Page 46 of Rider Forbidden
What the fuck do I do about it though? There’s nothing I can do. Even if I suddenly did a life 360 and decided I might want to try the girlfriend thing - which I do not want, then there’s the fact that she has a kid. I can't see me sat watching Disney films and going to the zoo. It's just not me. He’s a cool kid, but I don't know anything about spending time with a kid or how to act around them. Although I seem to have made a big hit with him.
If I talk to her, tell her what I’m feeling, that makes me vulnerable as fuck, and I don’t do vulnerable. I need normality, that’s what it is, I’ve been in holiday mode and it was just a holiday romance. It’ll be fine once we're back in the routine - it’ll be like nothing happened. But then there’s my little voice, telling me I was into her before Spain. No, I’ve gotten her out of my system now. I need to get laid as soon as possible when I get back. That’ll get her out of my head. I should never have gone back more than once. What was I thinking?
Chapter15
Robyn
“We need to have a chat with you tomorrow honey, when Elijah has gone to school.” Mum and dad both look worried, somethings up.
I stand up to full height from hugging Eli on the floor. “What’s up?”
Mum pointedly looks down at Eli, “Not now honey, tomorrow yeah?”
I nod, “OK, but everything’s OK with Eli, right?”
She nods and pats my arm. “Of course, he’s perfect. Now go home and spend some time together.”
I pack all his things in my car and drive us home.
“So, sweetie, did you have a good time with grandma and grandad?”
He nods “I did, we did lots of fun stuff.” He yawns.
I need to get him to bed as soon as possible, school tomorrow but at least I’ll get all weekend with him. I'm going to think of something fun to do, he loves the aquarium and dad said there was a good one not far from here, we'll have a lovely mum and son day. The best kind. Might take my mind off ‘he who shall not be named’.
“I missed you, sweetie, I'm so glad to be back home.”
He nods “I missed you too. I know what grandma wants to tell you.”
I glance at him as we're pulling up on my drive. “Do you?”
“A man came to see them. He wanted to see you, but grandma said you weren't there.”
I frown, who the hell could that be?
“Oh right, well I guess they'll tell me tomorrow.”
We get into the house and I get him settled into bed. I sit with him while he goes to sleep. He’s my number one in the whole world. All mine. Suddenly I get a panicky thought. What if it was Bobby? Shit. I can't think of anyone else it would be. It makes sense, since he only knows where mum and dad live.
Once I know he’s fast asleep I put his night light on and go and call mum.
“Sweetie, everything OK?” she answers
“Mum, Eli said that someone came, it wasn't Bobby was it?”
There’s silence on the other end of the phone, confirming my fears.
“It was sweetie. He wanted your number, he said he wants to see his son.”
Well, fuck him. The only reason he knows Eli was a boy was because I text him when he was born and that has been it. There’s no way.
“Oh no mum, what will I do?” The panic starts to build in me. I don't know how to deal with this. He has no right to come into Eli's life now, what was I thinking - coming back here? I hardly gave him any thought, what an idiot.
“Don't worry love, dad is going to speak to you tomorrow at work, he’ll come and see you, he has a few ideas.”
How can I not worry? I'm not sharing him.
I go to bed and toss and turn all night, even though I'm exhausted from my escapades with Jack. And Jack, oh my god. I can't even let myself go there at the minute. But this trip, it was heavenly. Maybe this is karma - Bobby showing up - I'm being punished for going away and having mind-blowing sex, pretending I didn't have any responsibilities. I should know better. It's me and Elijah against the world and that’s the way it's going to stay.
