Page 11 of Rider Forbidden
I go inside the pit and take an empty seat as I watch the exchange between him and his head engineer, Denny, who was in the meeting this morning. Harry is joining in the conversation. They're all looking at an iPad at some results. I just take a back seat and watch. The bike is there, ready for him and I don't know anything about bikes but it's nice. Really nice. It's a BMW, that I do know. It's yellow and black, so sleek, shiny and smooth. It is very impressive.
A few teams are doing the same thing. The loud roar of the bikes is deafening - something I’ve never experienced before - so loud you can hardly hear yourself think. Excitement fizzes in the air. This is only a practice, but you can feel the air is buzzing - it's hard not to get caught up in it. Jack nods and slips into the rest of the suit. His eyes rest on me for a second and he turns away. Someone hands him his helmet and he secures it into place and mounts his bike. Bloody hell, I didn't prepare myself for what it would be like to see him ride. Someone pushes him off to start and he speeds off, keeping his eye out for other bikes that are practising, speeding past.
He goes over a hundred miles per hour - it's crazy how fast he goes. I watch him on the screen in the pit as he twists and turns, there’s a screen following him and a screen which must be a camera on his bike. Harry has a headset on and can hear him. He tilts one way, so severe that you think he’s going to fall off, then straightens up and tilts the other. No wonder he has thick thighs. I can't help thinking about those thighs watching him right now. It's hot. There is no denying its hot. He must be so fit to do this. I move around in my seat. I don't like that it's having this reaction on me, thathe’shaving this reaction on me. He’s not a nice person - but watching him go around the track fast like he is, looking like he does, and listening to the roar of the engines – well, it's so hot.
Eventually, he comes back into the pit. He straddles his bike, planting his feet on the floor and removes his helmet. He’s smiling broadly. He doesn't cast a glance in my direction. He’s on too much of a high from riding to think about anything else. What must it be like to love your job this much? To do a job you love to do. I wish I felt like that about a job. I wanted to teach, but life got in the way and I never got around to it.
Wait, what if that’s something I could do now? I have help with childcare now and I only would have one year of Uni and I’d be qualified. It's worth some thought and I could look into it. I make a mental note to make enquiries.
ChapterSix
Robyn
“I’ll be fine mummy, Grandma and I are going to watchIce Ageagain, and maybe evenIce Age 2if there’s time.” I'm thankful that Grandma gets to watch it and not me for the five hundredth time. “I'm so excited about this sleepover.”
I look at my mum who looks in her element to be having Eli overnight.
“Sweetheart go out with your new friends and have fun. I bet you don't remember the last time you had a proper night out.”
She’s right I don't. I haven't had a night without Eli since he was born, which is probably why I'm having such a hard time leaving.
I reluctantly agree. “OK mum, you've got my number and you'll ring me if there are any problems?”
“You know I will . . . now go.”
“I’ve put the Calpol in your first aid cupboard.”
She frowns “Is he not well?”
I shake my head “He’s fine, just in case . . . you can't be too careful.”
She sighs “Look Robyn, I get it - I do honestly - but I have brought up two children, you know. I get that you've been his only caregiver all these years, but now you've got us, and you can use that to your advantage, he will be fine here - you need to relax a little.”
I know she’s right, I'm way too overprotective of him. When it’s always been him and me against the world, how am I supposed to just change my way of thinking and let go a little? It's hard, but I need to try – it would be good for both of us.
“You're right mum, I’ll try to relax. But you know what would help me relax?”
“What?”
“You'll text me when he’s in bed? To let me know he’s OK?”
She laughs “I will . . . now go.”
I turn to Eli “Come here, give me a big hug and I’ll see you in the morning, OK? After you've slept in that lovely new bedroom of yours.” Mum and dad had decked a room out all for him, he’s so excited to be sleeping there. It’s an experience for him too. At least I don't think he'll fret that I'm not there. It will be nice for him to spend time with my dad, he’s never had a man in his life. The one that created him, did just that and only that.
I hug him and mum and leave so that I can go to my place and get ready.
I agreed to go out with Sophie and her friends tonight. I don't know what to expect, but I do know that Sophie is lovely so I'm sure her friends will be too. I have to push myself. I’ve lived in solitude for too long, I need to start living again. Sure, I had friends in London - but not really close friends. I was lonely, apart from having Eli of course. I filled Sophie in on the fact that I have a son and the dad isn't in the picture, but that’s all she knows.
We’re going for drinks at the local pub, then were going onto a nightclub in a larger village. I decide on jeans and a nice top. Isn't that what most women wear on a night out? I have some dark blue fitted skinny jeans and some tall black strappy shoes. I ordered a top online for tonight, as I don't have many going out clothes. It's white, with lace embroidery and sheer in places - it's gorgeous - I love it.
I’m wearing my hair down and wavy, I'm aware how lucky I am that my blonde hair isn't too much trouble, although I could do with a trim, time to find a hairdresser around here.
I get in the shower to start the preparations for tonight, excited but nervous that I'm doing something different and also a little proud of myself too - I'm stepping out of my comfort zone. Some of the anxiety tonight is down to Eli’s dad. I hope he doesn't still live around here. I get mad and sad in equal parts when I think about my beautiful boy and how Bobby didn't even want to know when he found out I was pregnant. Well, it's his loss, but I don't want to see him - I hope he’s moved away. What guy does that when a woman is pregnant with his child? We didn't know each other that well, I know, but knowing he has a son or daughter out in the world somewhere but doesn't want to know anything about them? Well, that’s pretty much as low as you can get. Fingers crossed I won't see him ever again.
*****
I walk into the pub and look around for Sophie, I see her waving to me from over in the corner with a bunch of other women, so I make my way over.
