Page 25 of Falling for the Quarterback
“How do you know this sort of thing?”
“Because, my son, if you care about her so deeply, then I know she’ll be a smart woman. A smart woman is always the first to talk herself out of taking a possible risk, leading to heartache. I know as much from experience.” Sadness pours from her, and I lean in, hugging her. Did my mom love someone, and now she regrets never taking the chance on them? That’s a question for another day if I ever work up the nerve to ask her.
“I don’t want to come off as being too pushy,” I quietly confess as I lean back.
“The only thing you’ve ever been pushy about in life is football. It’s time for you to take the chance and push about this too.”
She’s right. If I don’t take the chance of showing up again, and Kinsley decides not to see me again, I know I’ll regret it.
“While you get things right with your girlfriend, I’ll start looking up rings.”
“Mom…”
“It’s going to happen, mark my words. And then you’ll be happy I found a ring in time before you fall asleep again and decide the next step is marriage.”
Chapter Eleven
Kinsley
Myphonebeepsfroman incoming text. I nearly ignore it, but something drives me to check. I’m due for a break anyhow. I exhale, pushing away from my built-in desk and hit save on my manuscript before shutting my laptop and standing. I move to the kitchen counter, grabbing my phone.
JJ:I’m here. Please come unlock the gate.
My heart instantly flutters, my stomach twisting in anticipation and anxiety. I don’t reply to his text, just hurry and set the phone down, sliding my feet into some flip flops. I manage to squeeze out the door, leaving the dogs inside with the cool air. Texas is at the miserable part of the year where you break a sweat the moment you’re in the heat, and I don’t want to leave JJ stuck out here in the blistering sun. I can’t wait for it to start cooling down a bit at the end of September.
My stomach flips with nerves, more and more the closer I get to the fence surrounding my place. I can easily see JJ’s head over the pickets. He meets my stare, offering me a pleased smile. He’s right about our size difference, and seeing him on the other side of my six-foot privacy fence looking over like it’s nothing makes his height glaringly obvious. How I didn’t automatically think of him as the size of a football player versus a mountain man before is beyond me, especially with how much I love the game. It’s all I see now when I look at him, a big, sexy baller. Hmm, maybe it’s because he’s a bit lean, fitting perfectly into that quarterback bodytype.
And those arms, God. I understand now why they’re so perfect; they’d have to be with him launching balls all day and working out.
I Googled him last night after he left. I tried, but I couldn’t hold myself back. Once he was gone, I could think of nothing else but him and the talk we had. How mature and accepting he’d been, warm even. I can’t help but wonder if others would’ve been so accepting if I’d made the decision to tell them.
It’d taken a long time before I’d admitted the truth to my ex, but I was also much younger then and scared no one would ever love me because of my diagnosis. My ex didn’t react the same way JJ did; we barely spoke once I’d told him, and I’d cried for days from the never-ending shame and embarrassment I’d felt. Eventually, he’d claimed he didn’t care, so I would have sex with him. Deep down, however, I knew it was a lie. The man had an uncanny way of making me feel like shit. A narcissist who liked to gaslight me on the regular, while making others think he was a good husband.
One thing my Google search showed me was how big into charities and giving back JJ is, especially to our state. It was apparent per the articles that he’s very much loved by fellow Texans, and it’s easy for me to understand why. Part of me wants to love him, too, but I’m scared. I don’t want to be hurt after already having dealt with so much heartache and disappointment in my life, where people are concerned, especially men.
“Hi,” he greets as soon as I’m close enough to reach the lock.
“Hi,” I return his smile and insert my key into the lock. I flick my gaze to him, then back at the lock, momentarily removing it so I can push the lever down on the hinge. “You’re tall,” I comment absentmindedly, and he chuckles.
“Just noticed it, huh? It didn’t hit me how much of a difference we have until last night. I feel like some of the blinders were removed and now we’re seeing all of each other.”
I let him in, stopping to stare for a beat like a weirdo. I can’t help it, though; he always manages to say things that take me off guard. My respect for him somehow goes up another notch on the proverbial board.
“What?”
“You’re just different from any man I’ve ever met before, and it throws me off my game a bit.”
“A good thing, I hope.” He threads his fingers with mine once I’ve closed the gate and placed the lock back in the hinge, leading us to the RV. The touch is reassuring; he hasn’t ghosted me or kept his distance. I wasn’t expecting to see him so soon, but I’m glad I am because somehow in the short span of time between when he left here last night and today, I’ve missed him.
I’m a sucker. I’ve got it bad, and I may as well wave the white flag and agree to all the kinky shit his young mind comes up with. How am I going to keep up? I bet he has the stamina of a bull, ready and rearing to go at the drop of a hat, when I need so much more to get me that hot and bothered. On normal days, it’s the Sahara Desert down south, and I don’t want to chafe his poor cock if the time for us ever comes and he goes deep diving in my pussy.
“It’s absolutely a good thing,” I respond, openly. While silently reprimanding myself for having my head in the gutter at the moment. I’ve already bared my soul to him; there’s basically no going back now. He'd better hold on for the ride if he’s planning on sticking around for the long haul, which I hope he is.
He leans in, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips. “How is it the more I see you, the more I miss you?”
JJ’s question throws me for a loop, because he’s right and he’s feeling the same way I am. He keeps showing up, and I find myself wanting him around me whenever he’s gone. I don’t only think of him, I miss his literal presence being near me. Like a bone-deepache disappearing whenever he’s next to me. In the past, men seemed to annoy me if they were all over me too much. I like having my space, but with JJ, I don’t get the same sensation.
“It’ll only get harder with you living in Dallas and me living here,” I admit, walking up the stairs first, to head inside.
