Page 53 of Perfect
“Jesus fucking Christ, Alexandria,” he hisses, leveling me with a stern look as he sits back in his chair. “Don’t scare me like that. That’s fucked up, honestly.” I blink at him, stunned.
“What iswrongwith you?”
“Well, my girlfriend sucks at boundaries, for one thing,” he says under his breath as he grabs his wine glass. Anger floods through me and I have to keep from throwing something at him.
“I’m not your fuckinggirlfriend!”
Theo raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Okay,” he says slowly. “It’s new. We can wait on labels, I guess.”
“You’re fucking insane!”
“Don’t talk to me like that,” he snaps.
“Why not? You’re just going to kill me!” His face flashes with shock.
“Are you fuckingserious? I wouldneverhurt you. You don’t need to be afraid of me, Alex.” He seems so earnest and hurt that I laugh at him.
“You’re a great liar.”
“Oh,Jesus fucking Christ,” he hisses, snatching up the abandoned plates and leaving the room.
I stay in the dining room while Theo tidies the kitchen, drinking more wine and staring at the wall, trying hard to think. If he’s serious about this boyfriend delusion, maybe he’s not going to kill me tonight. Maybe I can get out of here and regroup.
When he returns to the dining room, the decanter is empty and I’m pretty drunk. Theo leans against the doorway, eyeing me critically and frowning when he sees all the wine is gone.
“Let’s get you to bed. It’s been a long day, and you’ve had alotto drink, which explains your fucking behavior,” he mutters. I try to keep my face neutral and not roll my eyes at him for being so fucking passive-aggressive. He’s still acting like a pissed-off boyfriend, not a murderer, so I think I have a chance.
“Um, thanks for dinner, but I’m going to go. I have work tomorrow, and all my stuff is at home.” Theo sighs and comes towards me, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the chair.
“You have stuff here, and we can swing by your place for your bag tomorrow.” He pulls me up the narrow staircase and down a long hallway to a large bedroom with a king-sized bed and a small fireplace. I notice there are no personal effects, no photos, nothing indicating someone lives here. Just like downstairs, it’s so neat it seems staged, and that takes up all the limited space in my drunk, overwhelmed brain.
“Did you just move in?” His mouth twitches into a quick frown.
“Kinda. I grew up here, but I just moved back two months ago.”
“Why aren’t there any photos?”
He shrugs. “They’re in storage, I think. I haven’t finished unpacking.” His smile is tight as he leads me to a bathroom down the hall. “Why don’t you get ready for bed? I’ll lay out some clothes for tomorrow.” He closes me into a large bathroom with a clawfoot tub, and I focus on my breathing.
The medicine cabinet is small but tidy, everything facing label out. There’s a small shelf filled with unopened skincare products from a brand I used religiously when I lived in Boston, a large glass bottle of a perfume I love, two expensive electric toothbrushes, toothpaste, a heavy silver safety razor, a small bottle of shaving cream, and not much else. I ignore the skincare and perfume and brush my teeth for a long time, not looking at myself in the mirror.
How long has this been going on for him?
As I walk back into the empty bedroom, I keep my eyes down, noticing a small pile of clothes on the dresser and a short, silky nightgown lying across the bed. I don’t want to accept things from him, but Ireallydon’t want to sleep naked with him. Iput on the nightgown and crawl into bed, sitting up against the headboard and wrapping my arms around my knees, waiting. Theo comes in a few minutes later with a glass of water and two pills, offering them to me. I look at the pills and shake my head quickly, and he rolls his eyes.
“It’s fucking ibuprofen,” he mutters, popping one in his mouth and taking a sip of water. I watch him for a minute before taking the other from him and draining the glass of water. Theo leaves the room, and I can hear him brushing his teeth. I lie on my back and close my eyes, fighting off tears.
I thought getting away from Danny would be enough to keep me safe, but I was wrong. I know what’s coming next, so I’ll choose to let it happen. I was right to drink that much, because being drunk makes everything easier. It always has.
The lights go off, and the mattress dips as Theo gets in bed next to me, leaning over me and cupping my face in his hand before kissing me gently. I flinch and don’t kiss him back, but I will my body to stay relaxed.
Theo will probably kill me during sex, so it’s going to be easier if I’m relaxed.
He pulls away with a displeased sound. “Can we talk about the flinching?” I keep my eyes closed but scoff at him a little. “Alex, look at me,” he begs, his voice pleading. I open my eyes to see him hovering over me, his face concerned. “Sweetheart, please talk to me.” I’m so exhausted and don’t have the energy to play along, so I roll my eyes at him.
“Just do it,” I say, my voice flat.
I watch as his face moves from concern to confusion. “What?”
