Page 36 of Perfect
“You.” His brows knit together, and he cocks his head slightly, frowning deeply. I close my eyes, blocking him out. “You’re taking everything away. Why are men always taking things from me?” He’s quiet for a long time before he responds.
“I’m not taking anything from you, Alex. We’re together now, so we’readdingto each other’s lives. I know it’s a lot, and I was overwhelmed at first, too, but I promise everything will be okay. You’ll see.” I shake my head and close my eyes.
I’m too tired to cry, so I don’t.
He’s broken into my house, he’s raped me,andhe’s fucking insane.
He’s probably going to kill me soon.
That would be a relief.
Once the water is cold, Theo pulls the plug and helps me out of the tub, offering me a plush bathrobe. It’s always easier if I don’t fight it, so I don’t. He wraps me up, drying my legs with a towel and squeezing the water out of my hair. He won’t stop touching me as he leads me to the bed, and I feel an overwhelming sense of helplessness as I drop the bathrobe and lie down, closing my eyes and opening my legs.
I just want it to be over already.
When Theo pulls the duvet over me, I open my eyes and look at him in confusion. His jaw is tight and his eyes are wide, and he seems concerned, for some reason.
“You should rest, okay? We can talk later.” He kisses my forehead and slips out of my bedroom, closing the door behind him.
When he doesn’t return, I curl up into a tight ball and fall asleep.
12
THEO
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 22
Once I’m sure Alex is asleep, I start to panic.
I’m glad I sent Catherine a text from Alex’s phone saying that she felt ill, but that was supposed to be so I could make her breakfast, shower her with gifts and affection, fuck her until neither of us could walk, and finally get tobewith her. Instead, she thinks I’m ruining her life.
Imighthave fucked this up a little bit.
I run my hands through my hair, pacing back and forth. I need to go home. I need to give her some space. I need to regroup.
Fuck, fuck,fuck.
I quietly slip out of her house and ignore my car, focusing on my breathing as I run back to my place. I don’t understand how this happened. Everything felt perfect this morning when we woke up together, and then it was like a fucking switch flipped.
Imighthave let my impulses get the better of me here.
I know I’m not wrong about us, but I think I fucked this up by being too impulsive. I need to get myself under control again. I had a plan.
I was going to get to know her, make sure it would work between us, and find out how to make her happy. Ididthat, and it was easy because Alex and I are supposed to be together.
I was going to let her get to know me, pursue her in a way I knew she’d like, and let her see our connection for herself. I didnotdo that, but I thought it was the right time because all my impulses about Alex have been right so far.
Imighthave been wrong about the timing.
I can’t believe this is going so badly, but I can fix it. This is still going to work. I can still pursue her in a way she’ll like.
I thought Alex and I were the same and that sex would help us communicate, but I might have been wrong about that. I felt like my entire body was on fire the moment I kissed her, and all I could feel was our connection, but maybe she didn’t feel it.
I need to be more mindful that no matter how similar we are, we’re still different people. She seems a lot more sensitive than I thought she was, and I need to find a different way to show her that we’re connected.
She might be having a hard time accepting it right now, but we’re perfect for each other.
I just have to figure out how to get her to see that.
