Page 208 of Perfect
I’m notthatexhausted, apparently, but she is when I’m done with her.
***
“Sweetie, what thefuck?” I cross my arms over my chest as I stare down at the array of sex toys on the bed. She gives me a coy little smile and pulls me close, kissing me softly as she pushes me back onto the bed.
“Do you trust me?” I nod, eyeing her warily. “Good. Now come here,” she says, snatching up the ball gag and bondage tape with a wicked smile.
Apparently, Alex didn’t tell me whatshewanted to do tomewhen I got out, and I have a lot of fucking questions.
I forget them all the second one of her small, well-lubed fingers slips inside of me.
“Oh,Theo,” she coos, drawing out the vowels as she looks down at me, absolutely delighted. “Do you like that?” I nod slowly, keeping my eyes on hers. “I thought so. Now be good for me, okay?”
According to Alex, I’mexceptionallygood for her.
I gasp as she gently pulls out of me, leaving me feeling empty in a foreign way that I love and hate. I lay there, dazed, lost in the feeling of her soft tongue dragging slowly against my skin as she licks my cum off my stomach and chest. I moan softly when she unfastens the ball gag and pulls it out of my mouth, gripping my jaw to keep it open so she can spit my cum into my mouth. She smiles down at me, running her hand through my hair.
“Swallow for me.” I do what she wants. Everything seems out of focus and nothing really makes sense, but I start to feel anxious when she moves away from me to unfasten the strap-on harness and let it slip to the ground before she unwinds the bondage tape from my arms and legs. The longer she’s not close to me, the worse I feel, and then she climbs back into bed and pulls the duvet over us, holding me tightly, whispering sweet things into my skin and touching me everywhere, and everything feels right again.
Her hands on my body feel so good, and I reach out for her and pull her closer, resting my head on her chest and listening to her heartbeat.
I havenoidea what I’m feeling right now, but she’s the only thing grounding me from floating away.
“Baby? Are you good?” I look up to see her, flushed and happy and a little concerned, and I don’t think I can speak right now, so I nod faintly. She smiles at me as she takes in my expression.
“Yeah, you are,” she says, laughing slightly. “You’resucha good boy.” A warm wave of contentment rolls through me as she holds me, and I feel so cared for in her arms. Everything feels so fucking perfect when I’m wrapped up with her like this.
Only once the hazy feeling starts to fade a little bit do I realize thatthisis what Alex must feel like after we have sex.
Adored. Cherished. Loved.
Safe.
***
Alex lies naked on the bed, and I lean over her, pushing her hair back from her face.
“Sweetheart, wake up.” She doesn’t respond, and I start to get desperate. She’s so pale,toopale, staring at me with dull, unfocused eyes. Her body is limp beneath me and the tape across her mouth is coated in blood from her broken nose. I press my fingers to her throat, the blood on my fingers smearing across her skin, but her pulse isn’t there. I grab her shoulders and gently shake her, but her head falls to the side.
No, no, no.
“Alex, please. Don’t leave me, okay? I’m here now.” I frantically shove my fingers deeper into her neck, searching for a pulse that isn’t there. It should be there. She’s fine, she’s just afucking liar. I start to panic, shaking her harder, her head jerking back and forth.
“Alexandria, wake thefuckup.” I think I hear something faintly through the ringing in my ears, but I can’t make it out, so I just keep shaking her. She’s not dead. I wouldn’t let this happen to her. Shecan’tbe dead. Ican’thave failed her like this.
“You can’t fucking do this, honey, you can’t-”
“Theo, wake up!”My head jerks to the side and heat blooms across my cheek, and then everything looksdifferent.
I blink rapidly, confused as Alex comes into clearer focus with every second. It’s darker and we’re on a different bed. There’s no blood or tape on her face, and her hair is different. Her eyes are wide and teary, but bright and focused on me. I don’t know what’s happening. I can feel the breath dragging in and out of me, and I’m aware of her hands on my face, of my hands gripping her shoulders hard enough to bruise. I let go of her at once, cupping her face in my hands and kissing her quickly.
It was just a fuckingnightmare.
“Sorry,” she says, stroking my cheek. “You wouldn’t wake up.” I shake my head quickly.
“You okay?” I can’t help but move one hand down and shove my fingers into her throat so I can feel her pulse beating rapidly underneath my fingers. I let out a harsh sigh of relief the second I feel it, and she circles my wrist with her hand as she blinks back tears.
“I’m okay, baby. I didn’t know they were still this bad.” I shake my head, still focused on the feeling of her heartbeat beneath my fingers. The nightmares are constant, but they’re notthisbad anymore. I’m usually aware I’m dreaming, but this one felt real again.She pushes her other hand through my hair, making soft shushing sounds as she strokes the back of my neck, and I can tell she’s trying not to cry.
