Page 177 of Perfect
I do my best to lie to them, and I get out of taking everything but anxiety meds and antidepressants, but those still fucking suck.
***
After a few days in the hospital, Bailey walks into my room, looking me over with wide eyes. I sit up as quickly as I can, wincing in pain, and Bailey and I speak at the same time, our voices overlapping.
“Theo, whathappened?”
“How is she?”
“Why is there a police officer outside your door?”
“How’s Alex?” Bailey’s face falls as she pulls up a chair near my bed.
“She’s not talking, but the nurses told me to expect that,” Bailey says, her voice heavy. “She looked at me, though, and nodded and shook her head when I spoke to her.” A wash of relief rolls through me, followed by the sharp, overwhelming longing to see her. “Haven’t you seen her?” I shake my head in frustration.
“They won’t let me,” I mutter, and Bailey’s eyes narrow.
“Why not?” Her voice is hard and flinty, and we stare at each other for a long minute. “Theo, what did youdo?” I eye the opendoor and the officer standing at the doorway in a silent question, and Bailey scrunches her nose and shakes her head.
“When I found them,” I whisper, “I thought she was dead.” Bailey looks pained for a second before her eyes widen in understanding and her expression slowly drops into horror. “I need you to take care of Alex,” I say quietly. “I’ll give you whatever you want. I’ll pay for Miles to go to college, I’ll buy you another house, whatever. Alex is going to try to ignore it, she won’t eat and she’s going to drink, and I need you to keep an eye on her and make sure she gets better.” Bailey nods slowly.
“You don’t need to worry. Catherine, Suzie, and I are already figuring out what we need to do to help her, and Dylan and I cleaned out the guest bedroom in case she needs to stay with us.” I close my eyes and lay back against the pillows, exhaling sharply.
“Thank you.” Bailey stands to leave, pausing and looking at me with a conflicted expression before resting her hand on my uninjured shoulder, squeezing tightly.
“Thankyou,” she says, and she gives me a small smile before she leaves.
***
Catherine and Suzie visit and tell me Alex still isn’t talking, but that she’s engaging slightly more, humming in response instead of just nodding and shaking her head. Bailey visits again with some containers of food, and I notice with relief that one of them is half-eaten. Anna and Jessica drop in quickly to tell me that Alexstillisn’t talking, but they got her to eat an entire plate of food for the first time in a month.
Elise comes the day before I’m released, but before I can even open my mouth, she smiles at me.
“She finally spoke to someone yesterday,” she says cheerfully, and my heart soars.
Once Elise leaves, I frantically ask the nurse if I can please see Alex, please speak to Alex, if I can call her or pass on a note to her oranything, but the answer is always no.
***
I’m released into the jail’s custody and the arraignment is set a month out. I call the hospital every day, which is the only thing I can do besides take pain medication and rest. I still haven’t spoken to Alex, and I’m getting desperate.
In the hospital, we were forcibly separated, and she wasn’t even speaking. Now, I’m almost positive that Alex isn’t speaking to me on purpose.
Shemusthave seen me kill Danny.
I did it because I love her, and I don’t want her to be afraid of me and leave me because of it.
Every conversation with Elise starts with me asking how Alex is and what the nurses and doctors have said. Alex is getting better, sort of, but she’s not doing well. She’s engaging with the hospital staff more, but she still barely speaks, and she doesn’t say much when she does. One of the nurses caught Alex crying in the middle of the night, but she shut down entirely when she realized the nurse was in the room.
After I’ve been in jail for two weeks, Elise comes in for a meeting more tense than I’ve ever seen her, and I’m immediately concerned.
“What’s wrong? How’s Alex?” She raises her eyebrows at her bag as she pulls out her laptop.
“She was having a tough day. Listen, Theo, you need to stop calling the hospital.” I straighten up quickly, studying Elise’s face.
“You talked to her? Did she say anything to you? Why was she having a bad day? Is she okay? Is she going home soon? Did she ask about me?” Elise levels me with a hard look, and I go cold.
“I went to talk to her, I told her who I was, and she gave me this to give to you.” Elise pulls a small slip of paper out of her pants pocket and hands it over. There, in a shaky, faint version of Alex’s bubbly handwriting, is my fucking death sentence:
