Page 100 of Perfect
LID PARTIALLY ON
Fuck, I need to apologize to Theo. Maybe I’ll ask him out to dinner or do something nice to make up for how awful I was. That’s probably a bad idea, but I feel terrible enough about what happened to do it.
“So, you and that guy aren’t together?” I look up at Ben as he enters the kitchen, then back at the sticky note. This is the last day I can eat this unless I freeze it, and it’s possibly the last thing Theo’s making for me for a while.
“Oh, um, I don’t know,” I say, feeling guilty as I slip the glass container into the freezer.
“He’s an idiot if he’s not into you.” I laugh, almost losing my balance as I bend over to grab a bottle of wine from the bottom cabinet.That’sdefinitely not the problem, but I’m not talking about this with anyone, except maybe Bailey. “You look so beautiful tonight, Alex,” he says quietly. Something about Ben’s voice sets me on edge. I look up at him, realizing that I’m bent over and that he’s close behind me, looking at my body appreciatively. I stand up quickly, my head spinning a little.
I’m not sure I should drink more right now.
“Oh, um, thanks, I guess,” I say quickly, wrapping my arms around myself. Ben steps closer to me, backing me into the kitchen counter, and I get nervous. Why didn’t I ever notice how big he is? He’s shorter than Theo, maybe, but he’s kind of got Danny’s thick build and he’smuchbigger than me.
Didn’t Theo make me promise I wouldn’t be alone with Ben?
I’m not so sure he was just being jealous anymore.
“You know that I’m into you, right? Maybe you just thought I was being friendly.” I tense up, leaning away from him as he stares down at me, his eyes glued to my lips.
“Ben, we’re just friends.”
He steps even closer. “We could be more than that,” he says with a soft smile.
I squirm slightly as he leans down over me, his arms bracketing me in. “Uhm, I should go to bed.”
Ben laughs a little, his eyes drifting down the open neck of my dress. “We can do that.” It takes me a minute to realize what he’s saying, and I shake my head, feeling slightly dizzy as I do.Theo’s going to freak out when he sees this on the cameras, but maybe he’ll come over here and make Ben leave.
“That’s not what I meant,” I say quietly, but I can barely get the words out.
“Right. The kitchen works, too, I guess,” he says with a smirk as one of his hands drags up my body and cups my breast. My breath starts coming faster as he leans closer, and I pull back as far as possible, but I can’t go much farther.
“I don’t think this is a good idea.” My voice sounds high-pitched and panicky.
“I know you like me, Alex.” Ben pushes his hips against mine, and I freeze as I feel him hard against me. Why isn’t Theo blowing up my phone? Is he not watching me? Did I actually get rid of him right when I needed him?
Oh, fuck, I wish he was here right now.
“No,” I whisper out, but Ben must not hear me. I’m frozen as his other hand drifts up my thigh and grips my ass hard as he leans down to kiss me. I work hard to move my arms, putting my hands on his chest and pushing, but he doesn’t move. “Don’t,” I say a little louder, forcing the word out.
Ben’s brow furrows as he leans over me, staring down the open neck of my dress. “Jesus, Alex, you’re such a fucking tease,” he says, his voice surprisingly angry. Ben’s leg pushes in between mine, his thigh pushing up until he’s rubbing his against me roughly. I whimper in protest at how harsh it feels as he leans down and kisses me aggressively, and I feel the familiar cold, numb sensation of disconnecting from my body.
I don’t want this, but it’s going to happen anyway, so at least I don’t have to experience it.
Suddenly, Ben pulls away from me and a second later slams into the wall with a yelp, and in his place is a furious-looking Theo.
“What the fuck is this?” I startle at Theo’s harsh voice, and all the sensation and panic rush back into my body as I stare up at him, tears starting to form on my lash line. I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. His face goes blank, and he looks over at Ben, who looks between the two of us with genuine fear.
30
THEO
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 14
By Tuesday, I’m crawling out of my skin and nothing is distracting me. Alex isn’t sleeping or eating much, and she’s checking her phone constantly. When I watched her leave for work this morning, she seemed distracted and frazzled, leaving without her phone and reappearing two minutes later.
I can’t keep waiting for her to come to me.
I watch her talk to Bailey, grateful that Alex has someone who cares about her like that. I don’t watch the cameras or check her trackers after I hear her talk to Bailey. If Alex feels like she needs time to herself, I can give her that. I know Alex told Bailey she didn’t mean some of what she said, but I know she didn’t mean any of it. She got scared and lashed out, and we just needto talk about it. We’d finally started to talk more before this happened, and we’re going to keep doing that, because that’s what couples do.
