Page 92 of Perfect
Dread pools in my stomach as it slowly dawns on me what’s different about him.
He’shappy.
I’m not handling this situation as well as I thought. I’ve mostly learned how to manage Theo at this point, but it requires keeping him at a distance. I have to let him in just enough to get him to drop his defenses, but not enough that I drop mine. I don’t know exactly what happened, but something about the sex this afternoon made me let him in,again.
I can’t believe I’m so fucking stupid.
Theo heads for the fridge, kissing the top of my head on the way, the action seemingly involuntary. I watch him closely, and he looks up from grabbing things out of the fridge and smiles at me with that same possessive, adoring look he gave me in bed. Something other than dread churns in my stomach, and I force a smile and look away quickly, drowning the feeling with more wine.
I think it’d be easier if he just killed me, because I can’t ignore how much I’m starting to want him.
Not just the sex.
Him.
26
THEO
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 5
“How are you, Theodore?”
“Fine.” Dr. Mills looks me over quickly, frowning.
“Is everything alright?”
I shrug and slouch back into the chair. “I didn’t sleep very much last night.” I haven’t slept in about 36 hours because I’ve been going through Danny’s social media with a fine-tooth comb to learn what phishing emails would work best on him. Something involving Joe Rogan, creatine supplements, or some Blue Lives Matter bullshit, probably.
Idiot.
On top of that, I had to check on Alex about fifteen times last night because she kept coughing so much that she could barelysleep. I think she’s getting sick, and I want to be at home taking care of her.
“Theodore, how much do you sleep on average?” I’m not so tired that I don’t know where this is going, and I narrow my eyes at her.
“I sleep a normal amount, Dr. Mills.”
“Have you made an appointment with a psychiatrist since you’ve been home?”
“No.”
“I’d like you to consider it. I think maybe finding medication that works for you would be a good next step in terms of your reintegration.” I take a slow, deep breath and give her a small smile.
“I’m fine, thank you. We’ve discussed this before, and my feelings haven’t changed. The medication wouldn’t benefit me at all.” I know what she’s about to do before she does it, so I blink and purse my lips at the same time she does, but she doesn’t seem to catch it.
“Alright. How are things with Alex?”
I smile a little. “They’re going really well.”
“I’d like to hear more about that. What do you think makes you two good together?”
“We just fit. I think Alex needs someone she can trust, someone who makes her feel safe and cared for, and I do that.” Dr. Mills’ mouth twitches slightly.
“What makes her a good partner to you?”
“Everything, honestly. She’s smart and creative and kind of funny, and she’s so fucking sweet. She’s wonderful.” Dr. Mills smiles.
“Sounds like it. You’ve mentioned something you provide for Alex, so what does she provide for you?” I blink once, carefully keeping my face neutral as Dr. Mills’ gaze becomes slightly scrutinizing.
